A Backwards Glance
by Artemis311
Summary: A mysterious potion sends James Potter and Lily Evans into the future, forcing them to reconcile their differences and join forces with Harry to stop Voldemort before he manages to kill them again. But to do so, they'll have to confront betrayal, redemption, and ultimately love. JxLxD, HxG, HxR
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Thanks for checking this out. It's a time traveling piece, but the beginning few chapters are set in the past during the Marauder's time at Hogwarts. It started out as a James and Lily romance, but I realized how much potential they would have in the future especially in meeting Harry and friends. Anyways, hope you enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Harry Potter. Props to JK Rowling for a book series I still read yearly.**

A Backwards Glance

Prologue:

Lily Evans had never been one for divination. The tea leaves that were rumored to contain miraculous predictions of future events only served as a reminder that she was wasting precious time that she could have spent learning subjects that would actually be used in her later life. Yet, that dislike still did not stop her from staring at the smoke that came out of the gleaming red smokestack of the Hogwarts Express each year and trying to detect the year's potential in the whirl of shades of color among the gray and black. She had watched the smoke dutifully each year since her first arrival on the platform as a nervous first year, and each year, her interpretation of the smoke had proved correct. The red undertones last year had coincided with the death of Professor Binns, her aged History of Magic teacher who had continued to teach even as a pearly, transparent ghost, and the black wisps of second year had arrived with the influx of increased prejudice against muggle-borns, as Voldemort's power and influenced continued to rise. However, this year as Lily gazed up at the twisting tendrils of smoke, for the first time ever, she couldn't discern a recognizable trend. She at first saw slowly-spiraling purple, but that was quickly replaced by a puff of green, which was overcome by a strong red-orange. She wondered what this chaos meant for her future and surmised that this year would be an interesting one, a prediction that like the others was bound to come true.

Chapter 1:

With their scarlet bed hangings and their comfy window nooks, the Gryffindor dormitories had always been a place of warmth and comfort for many students seeking consolation. However, at the moment, Lily Evans could care less for consolation as she tried to control her mounting desperation. She was standing in the middle of the seventh-year girl's tower room and was staring down at a random assemble of clothes draped over every surface available. She was lucky that her fellow Gryffindor seventh years were absent, as they probably would have been concerned at the lack of visible floor. Lily was even slightly embarrassed. She wasn't usually one to care about clothes, as her wardrobe usually consisted of some smuggled-in muggle jeans and a tee-shirt with a robe thrown over, but tonight was different. It was the start-of-term feast, and Lily would be announced to the whole school as Head Girl for the upcoming year. When she had received the crisp envelope from the tawny brown year last summer, Lily had been excited, but she had forgotten her role quickly with the arrival of school shopping lists. But on the train, squeezed between two Ravenclaws, she had remembered that she would have to stand up in front of the whole student body and be introduced, and she didn't want to do that in some contraband sweatshirt and jeans. She had decided she would look decent, but looking decent was tough when it was a challenge to find matching pairs of socks.

"Lily, what the hell? Is there a reason your whole wardrobe is spread over not only your bed, but mine, and half the floor?" Lily turned around quickly to see her good friend Sylvia Verona leaning against the door with a smirk on her face. Lily rolled her eyes, but hurried forward to give her friend a hug, while managing skillfully not to trip over a particularly hazardous pile of sweaters.

"Sylvia, thanks Merlin, you came," Lily responded. "Fifteen minutes later, and I would have missed the feast entirely. Where were you on the train?"

"Missed it," Sylvia admitted. "Traffic was terrible . . ." she started, but stopped when she saw Lily's expression. "Fine, I slept in, but I managed to floo to Hogsmede and walk over here just in time. Looks like a good thing I got here. This is a mess."

"This is what happens when you forget that you were Head Girl until five minutes before the train pulls up," Lily admitted.

"Head Girl?" Sylvia exclaimed. "You should have told me. Better not let them know you forgot. They might revoke the privilege."

"I might need them too," Lily groaned. "They haven't told me who's Head Boy yet."

"On the other hand, it could be really good," Sylvia returned, as she started to rummage through Lily's piles of clothing. "I've heard they let the Head Boy and Head Girl have their own dormitories. Imagine what you could get up too in there."

"Ugh, let's hope it's not a Slytherin then," Lily responded. "But really, am I the type of girl . . .?"

"Nope," agreed Sylvia, laughing. She threw Lily a black cashmere top and a gray skirt. "Which is why you can probably get by wearing this. Ultra conservative and extremely boring. Just your type."

Lily rolled her eyes, as she caught the two articles of clothing before they hit the ground. "You sure Dumbledore won't mind me not wearing the uniform underneath my robes?"

"Considering that skirt resembles something my grandmother might wear, I don't think he'd have a problem with it," Sylvia returned. "But for the love of all that is holy, you could consider rolling it up a bit. I don't think James Potter would mind seeing a little leg," Sylvia continued, throwing up an arm to protect herself from the pillow that Lily tossed at her. "You know, I'm kidding right?"

"I think you could stand for a little bit of a memory refresher," Lily replied, quickly noting the number of available pillows left within arm's grasp. "James hasn't talked to me for a year now."

"Because you dumped that cauldron of frog spawn on him," Sylvia reminded her. "It it hadn't been for that, he'd still be all over you.

"The point is I did it," Lily replied. "And it wasn't an unprovoked attack. The bastard was trying to get me to fall on top of his lap." She remembered the incident well. James had kicked the back of her knees during Potions class when she had been walking to the supply closet in an attempt to get her to fall on top of him. She had been able to grab the edge of his cauldron just in time to keep herself from falling over completely, and she had responded by turning the cauldron over on top of his head. The actions had ended a long chain of pick-up lines and romantic come-ons that had lasted since the beginning of fourth year, as James had angrily stomped out of the room, cursing the whole race of women under his breath. His hatred of women had not lasted long, however, as he had been seen dating one of the Ravenclaw chasers and then the Hufflepuff seeker soon after, but he had avoided Lily ever since, which was fine by her.

"Unprovoked or not, I still think he's biding his time," Sylvia answered, running her hand through her dark hair. "Guys don't spend two years running after a girl to give up so quickly after one setback. Look at him. He hasn't been able to hold a relationship for over two weeks. He'll be back."

"And I'll be back with his cauldron if he tries anything," Lily responded. "Besides, I don't have time for James Potter. We have NEWT's this year, and I'll be spending most of my evenings patrolling. If he's going to try to come after me, he'll have to find me first."

"Maybe you should try to make it easier," Sylvia laughed. "That was the most entertaining Potions class we've ever had. The look on Slughorn's face was priceless."

"You should have been there after class," Lily admitted. "I don't think he ever thought I had it in me. He kept stumbling over his words, like he didn't know what to do with me."

"Kept you in the Slug Club though," Sylvia continued, a tinge of jealousy obvious in her tone.

"Sylvia, you know I didn't ask to be a part of that," Lily said as she started to pull on the skirt and the top. "I'm not even that good in Potions. I'm just . . ."

"Top in the class," Sylvia finished for her. "Don't worry about it. It's cool being the best friend of the genius. But seriously, get your clothes on. I'm all for being fashionably late, but missing the feast entirely means I'm just going to go to bed hungry."

"All right," Lily said, pulling her robe on over her ensemble. She hadn't rolled her skirt like Sylvia had told her too, but luckily, her friend hadn't noticed. Strangely, she could begin to feel the adrenaline start to build up. The nervousness that had previously afflicted her had completely vanished, and all she could think about was how amazing she hoped this year would be. She didn't want to be the girl who bowed out of parties anymore because of homework obligation or the girl who missed dinner, because she was in the library. She wanted to enjoy this year, whether she was Head Girl or not. She followed Sylvia out of the room and began to make her way down the staircase. Sylvia had started to jog down now, and her half-open robe was fluttering around her. Lily struggled to catch up, and had almost reached her friend in the common room. Sylvia was almost to the portrait hole when the painting flipped open. She stopped suddenly, and Lily slammed into her back. Sylvia was pushed rather hard and collided with none other than James Potter.

"Damn, Verona," he said, clutching his head where she had painfully banged it while he had been trying to climb through. "Strange that you head would hurt me so much, what with it being hollow and everything." He straightened up and moved away from the portrait hole. Lily groaned when she saw Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew each make their way into the room and stand beside their friend. Lily wanted to just ignore the slight and keep on going down to the feast, but Sylvia wasn't going to allow James to get away with it.

"James, we missed you over the summer. Lily and I were betting on who you would date next, and I sure as hell don't want to lose my ten galleons," Sylvia returned, a smirk covering her features.

Sirius walked over and placed his arm around Sylvia's shoulders which she tried to shrug off. "We missed you too, Verona," he said with a definite grin plastered across his face. He looked down at her clothes which happened to be a bright yellow tunic and grey slacks that she had pulled from her trunk in a hurry. "You know how we hate change. Nice how you accommodated us by staying the same wonderful, color-blind bitch as you were last year." Sylvia shook his arm off and frowned at him pointedly. She looked like she was about to return with a biting response, but Lily beat her too it.

"Remember what you were saying about us being late to the feast," she reminded her friend, hoping to distract her from a fight. While she usually enjoyed watching Sirius and James being put in their place, she realized that there would probably be a lot of trouble if she was announced as Head Girl without her actually being there.

"You're lucky, Black," Sylvia said turning to the boy. "If I wasn't so hungry, you might have had your ass kicked."

"Looking forward to it," Sirius smirked. "Now, since we're heading down in the same direction, I might even escort you down if you're careful not to poke me with your fangs," he said holding out an arm to Sylvia.

She scoffed and turned to Remus, who had up to this point been silent. "Remus, want to walk down together?" she asked pointedly, and he turned bright red though looked pleased at the attention. She grabbed him by one arm and Lily by the other and made her way out the portrait hole, a rather painful procedure that involved Remus getting his head knocked by the ceiling of the shallow hole. Sirius, not to be outdone, held out his arm to James and the two of them jauntily made their way out of the portrait hole as well. Left to himself, Peter quickly followed, feeling once again that he was the odd one out of the foursome.

They arrived quickly to the Great Hall, and the rest of the room looked over to see who had the audacity to walk in late. Sirius was used to the attention and bowed to the audience while Lupin looked a bit pink from all the stares.

Lily realized his embarrassment and quietly whispered "Let's sit down," in his ear. While her motivations were primarily to avoid the glances of Dumbledore, she also wasn't one for receiving tons of attention. Lupin nodded gratefully, and he led them over to some empty seats at the Gryffindor table, where they sat down to await the beginning of the feast. Sylvia and Peter followed them, and James and Sirius came over a few minutes later, as they had stopped to flirt with some Ravenclaw girls.

"Hey Remus," Sirius said clasping his friend's shoulder as he walked over. "Elizabeth and Meredith have been kind enough to agree to meet James and myself at midnight at the Astronomy Tower. I'm sure Lily here would be thrilled to accompany you. Perhaps you should ask her." Remus blushed an even darker pink, and Lily noted that it was probably a good thing wand use was prohibited during meal times, as she probably would have joined Remus in hexing his friend. Luckily for Sirius, Remus didn't have an opportunity to respond, as Dumbledore had stood up and was now addressing the school.

"Welcome, students, to a new year at Hogwarts. I trust that you have all made yourself comfortable and are able to listen to a few minutes of my ramblings before succumbing to this delicious feast. I am glad to say that we have had a relatively peaceful summer, and I'm sure that I do not need to emphasize how much we have all have missed each and every one of you." At this, Sirius and James rolled their eyes as they looked at Professor Slughorn who hated them with a burning passion. "But I trust that you have returned awaiting a year of discovery, learning, and innovation. We have a few start-of-term announcements, and I'm sure each and every one of you will be happy to discover that we have a few new faces at Hogwarts. Please give a hand to all these wonderful new first years that will be joining us for the new year."

With that, Dumbledore motioned to a small crowd of shivering eleven-year olds who seemed about ready to pass out on account of all the attention directed their way. Lily smiled at the younger children, remembering his first day at Hogwarts when she had almost tripped over the stage on her turn to be sorted. She especially remembered the piercing laugh of the little black-haired boy, soon to be unrequited admirer, James Potter. Her departure into her memories caused her to miss the sorting of the first child, and she was startled to hear the entire Slytherin table erupt in cheers as a small brown-haired child stumbled his way into an empty spot along the bench.

"It's too bad," Sylvia said leaning over Remus's lap in order to whisper in Lily's ear. "I don't think Slytherin needs any more innocents." Lily nodded and looked over at the Slytherin table where sixth-year Trent Nott was whispering in the newly-sorted boy's ear. The small boy seemed happy to have a mentor, and Lily wondered if he realized that the boy whispering in his ear was known for intimidating and blackmailing people of non-magical heritage, a group that included herself.

The rest of the Sorting passed with little incident except when an unfortunate newly-sorted Hufflepuff girl accidentally went over to the Slytherin table and was the recipient of much booing for her mistake. All in all, everyone was happy when the Sorting was over, and Dumbledore was able to stand up once again to continue with his announcements. Little of these were of any consequence to Lily who had already listened to six other similar speeches at the beginnings of her other school years. Sirius was already fast asleep, and Lily almost laughed to see the difference between his peaceful-looking face and the boy who had been tormenting her friend just a few minutes ago. However, she was startled when she heard Dumbledore mentioning her own name, and she realized that he was announcing her position as Head Girl.

". . . Our new Head Girl will be Lily Evans and our new Head Boy will be James Potter. I'm sure they both will be great role models for our school, and I hope to hear that you have been treating them with respect, as they are well worthy of it." Dumbledore started clapping and the entire school aside from Slytherin followed suit. However, as the rest of the school engaged in polite applause, Lily was looking in horror at Dumbledore hoping he had made a mistake. James Potter was Head Boy? Lily couldn't remember the last time he had shown a shred of responsibility. She looked over at James and was relieved to see that he was staring at Dumbledore with a similar look of dismay. At least she could discount Sylvia's theory that James was still interested in her. At the moment, he looked like he'd rather swim with grindelows. In fact, Sirius seemed to be the only one amused by the situation. He had woken up to hear Dumbledore speak his friend's name and was now smirking amusedly.

"I think we'll call your youngest Sirius," Sirius said nudging James with his elbow. "He's going to be a handsome bastard." James scowled and shoved his friend's elbow away. "You're just angry, because she won't even consider you, mate," Sirius continued.

"Bloody prick," James responded. "Shows what you know. I had ten girls over the summer."

"But they were easy," Sirius persisted. "No hint of a challenge, and that's where you start to get bored, mate."

"I was not bored," James said, a little too loudly. "Karen said she'd write me, even if she does live in Scotland."

"Shut up," Sylvia whispered. "Dumbledore's looking our way." The boys looked up and realized that indeed the applause had ended, and Dumbledore had resumed talking.

"I hope to see James and Lily after the feast in my office," Dumbledore said smiling at the two, as if he had no idea of their animosity. "Time is of the essence if we are to make this year one of the best we've had so far."

If it was at all possible, James's scowl deepened, and Sirius's grin grew even wider. Sylvia just snorted.

"Looks like Eliza and Melinda will have to wait after all," she said.

Sirius was about to correct her for getting the girls' names wrong, but he was spared from making a response, since at that instant, the plates, which had been previously empty, became filled with food, and all attention was thus appropriately drawn to the delectable feast.

"We'll settle this later, Verona," Sirius growled before stuffing a drumstick in his mouth.

**AN: Thanks so much for reading. Any reviews, corrections, advice, or comments would be really appreciated. :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed chapter one. I was planning to space out my updates, but I really wanted to get this one out. Once again, hope you like it and definitely review if there's anything you like/hate/or want to see happen.**

Chapter 2:

Lily and Sylvia were able to escape immediately following the feast, and they made their way through the throngs of congregating students until they reached the corridor outside of the Great Hall. They were both glad to be free from the company of the four Marauders especially since Sirius had spent the meal telling anyone within earshot the number of girls he had snogged over the summer. When Lily had begun to comprehend that that number was slowly approaching somewhere in the upper twenties and that Sirius had no problem with discussing every little detail of each sordid relationship, she realized that she needed to get out of the room. Sylvia had been more than happy to follow her, muttering something about needing to keep her dinner down, and they had made a quick exit.

"So, James is Head Boy," Sylvia remarked, as she leaned against the wall of the hallway in order to catch her breath. "Sure you don't believe in karma now?"

"If dumping a cauldron on his head got me this, then Sirius Black has no hope for the afterlife," Lily answered grimacing. "What was Dumbledore thinking? James and I absolutely hate each other. How could this possibly even work? We'll be at each others' throats the whole time."

"You could say that . . ." Sylvia answered. "But Dumbledore might have had his reasons for picking Potter. He is pretty high up in all our classes, not close to you of course, but doing well enough. Look at me. I barely scraped an A on my Potions OWL. I guess, people always forget about him when there's you, Remus, and Snape, but the kid's pretty smart." Lily was surprised she had overlooked that. Loathe as she was to admit it, James actually managed to get decent grades, and most of the teachers did seem to genuinely like him.

"I guess he is a decent student," Lily admitted. "But that doesn't mean he's going to get away with giving me all the midnight shifts during our hallway patrols."

"More likely, he'll volunteer to do them with you," Sylvia laughed. "I heard him talking with Black. There's definitely something going on involving you. Be nice to him though. I think half female population of our school would kill you if you accidentally knocked him off or something like that."

"The stupid half," Lily grumbled. "I still don't know what they see in him."

"It could be his dashing good looks," Sylvia said grinning. "Or his uncanny ability to catch the snitch with his eyes closed, and you can't forget the magnetic attraction his bed has to any girl in a fifty-foot radius."

"Wait," Lily said quickly, holding up her hand as she remembered something. "Was that rumor true? The one about Head Boys and Girls sharing a Common Room."

"Guess you're going to have to ask Dumbledore," Sylvia responded. "But hey, at least we'll be able to settle that bet. I'm still thinking it's going to be a Ravenclaw."

"You're disgusting," Lily answered. "I don't care who James Potter dates next as long as I have soundproof walls and a guarantee that my room is off limits."

"That might be an issue," Sylvia answered. "James Potter is known for his . . ."

"Remarkable sense of hearing?" came a voice to the left of them, and they both turned to see James Potter staring at them with a barely disguised look of anger across his face. "If you two are done talking about my sex life, I was going to tell Evans that we needed to get up to Dumbledore's office for the Head Meeting. But I'm getting the impression that maybe she'd like to walk up alone." Lily blushed, but Sylvia looked him in the eye.

"Potter, don't pretend like you're some kind of victim here," Sylvia told him evenly. "You weren't exactly nice yourself up there in the common room."

"Shut up, Verona," he responded and turned to Lily who was staring at the ground. "We have five minutes," he said to her. "There's something to be said for making a good impression," he remarked, as he turned and began to walk down the hallway.

"Damn it," Lily cursed quietly to her friend. "That was my fault. I shouldn't have said all that stuff."

"Don't let him get to you," Sylvia responded. "You're letting him think he won."

"I think it's a little late for that," Lily replied. Sylvia responded by giving Lily a quick hug, and then Lily started walking down the hallway behind James, though taking care not to catch up with him. She wasn't ready to face him again, and she didn't think he wanted to see her either. She felt almost guilty. It was easy for her to say that she hated the boy and never wanted to see him again, but she wasn't sure that was the truth. Sure, his flirtations had been annoying and he could be a bit egoistical sometimes, but she had seen the way he explained difficult concepts to Peter when he was having trouble and the way his pranks were funny but never hurtful. She definitely wasn't ready to be James's friend, but at the same time, she didn't want him to hate her. But it seemed a little late now that he had heard her comments to Sylvia, comments that she almost wished she could take back.

Lily was relieved when the familiar stone gargoyle in front of Dumbledore's office interrupted her thoughts. Thankfully, the winding staircase was still open, because she didn't know the password. She wondered briefly if James had left it open for her but figured that Dumbledore had probably charmed to stay open until she arrived. She began the trek up and pushed the large wooden door open once she reached the top. She was surprised to see that Dumbledore wasn't in his office and saw James inspecting something on Dumbledore's desk. Casting a furtive look behind her, she curiously walked over to the desk to see what he was looking at. When he saw her coming over, he stuck whatever he had been holding in his pocket.

"What were you looking at?" Lily asked, genuinely curious.

"None of your business," James responded, but Lily noticed that he clutched his pocket tighter when she had spoken. "Don't act like we're friends all of a sudden just because we're stuck together in this situation."

"Friends?" Lily asked, surprised at his bitter tone. "More like self preservation. What do you think Dumbledore's going to think when he comes up here to find that one of his possessions is missing?"

"I just want to take a closer look," James answered. "There's something about . . . Hell, I don't have to explain things to you, and it's not like you give a shit about me anyways. And don't worry about your precious reputation. Even I wouldn't stoop so low to blame you for something you didn't do."

"I didn't say you would," Lily responded even though she had implied it. "I just . . ." But what she had been about to say was cut off by the sound of the door opening once again. She and James looked at each other and quickly made their way to some armchairs near the desk. Lily blushed slightly, but she didn't understand why. It wasn't like she had stolen whatever James had taken. Yet, she still managed to put on a smile when Dumbledore entered the room. He looked unnaturally weary, but his face brightened when he saw the two teenagers in his office.

"Ah, Lily, James," Dumbledore said. "I hope the two of you are getting to know each other better, as we have a long year ahead. I'd like to think of this as the calm before the storm. Voldemort is becoming more of a threat, and I'm afraid that most of your duties will involve reassuring the younger students and preparing for a war that is most assuredly coming to our doorsteps." Lily was surprised at the calmness in which Dumbledore relayed all this. So many in the Ministry had treated the rise of Voldemort as a trivial manner, as if there was little threat in his talk of pureblood supremacy, and Lily had wondered if anyone could see the threat he posed to the wizarding community. She was pleased that Dumbledore realized the dangers of the powerful wizard but still wondered why he seemed so composed. Having grown up with stories of the two World Wars, Lily was horrified at the prospect of being involved in one, especially one concerning magic.

"Ah, but Lily, don't be disheartened," Dumbledore continued, clearly noting the anxiety on her face. "Goodness will always prevail, don't forget that."

"But how can you say that?" James asked, mirroring Lily's thoughts exactly. "Sure it sounds good, and it's what we want to believe, but one side has to lose. It could be us."

"James, sometimes it may seem as if the darkness has the upper hand, but do not lose hope. That is how the dark side fights us. They pray on our hope and love, all the things that make life worth living. I have always said that the one thing Voldemort does not understand is love, and remember that we will always have that. That is why we will not lose," Dumbledore answered.

"I still don't think love is enough to win a war," James responded. "Not when we're faced with the most powerful dark Lord ever." Dumbledore gave him a look of pity.

"Maybe one day, you will see," Dumbledore said softly as if he was talking to himself. "But enough ramblings from an old man. Let's discuss your duties as Heads. I'm sure from past years, you know the basic tasks: patrolling, discipline, setting a good example, it shouldn't be too hard for the two of you," he said with his eyes twinkling as he looked at James. "Any questions you need cleared up?"

"The matter of the rooms?" Lily asked, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Where do we sleep?"

"Ms. Evans, the rumor of a shared dorm for the Heads has been traveling around Hogwarts since I was a boy," Dumbledore said, his eyes still twinkling merrily. "And I regret to inform you that you will still be rooming with your fellow seventh-year girls. I know the issue has disappointed several seventh-year boys who felt that being Head afforded them a few privileges, but I think this way is truly the best." Lily nodded her head and was secretly very thankful. She wasn't sure what would have happened if James and her had shared quarters, but she didn't think it would have been very amiable.

As it were, the two of them didn't leave Dumbledore's office until a half an hour later. Lily was carrying a pile of papers containing schedules and lists of rules and duties. She was thoroughly exhausted from the long train ride that morning and the meeting that night. She was planning to go back to her dormitory and get some sleep before the following day of classes, but she suddenly remembered the thing James had stolen from Dumbledore's office. She hurried to catch up with him, as he had gotten ahead of her on the hallway back towards Gryffindor tower.

"James, wait," she yelled out, and he stopped, turning around in surprise.

"Evans?" he asked. "What do you want? We don't have to patrol tonight. Lucky for you, you don't have to talk to me till tomorrow."

"To have a look at whatever you grabbed," she said, finally catching up with him. "I know you don't like me very much, but I am curious."

"It's not that I don't like you . . ." James sighed, not seeming to want to finish that thought. "Whatever. Fine, take a look. It's a potion." He tossed it over, and she caught it. She looked at the label carefully and saw the words 'Draught of Deliverance' written across the label in flowering script.

"What is it?" she asked, never having heard of the potion before.

"Don't know," James admitted. "It had a certain draw when I walked into the room. It was strange. I've never felt that way around anything before. It was like I had to pick it up. I don't believe in fate, but if I did, I think I'd say I was meant to pick it up . . ."

"Strange," Lily breathed, as she looked at the potion again. Feeling nothing remarkable, she handed it back to him, shivering when she felt the touch of his skin against hers. "Listen, about earlier, I didn't mean . . ."

"Don't say anything about it," James said, covering his face in a mask of indifference. "I understand your feelings exactly. You weren't exactly subtle last year with that cauldron trick."

"But that's not what I wanted to say . . ." Lily tried again, but James interrupted her again.

"Seriously, you don't have to explain yourself," he continued. "I saw the way you looked at me in the common room, and I heard that conversation with your friend. I get it. You don't like me. I might have been pissed off then, but I do realize that we have to work together for the next year. So I'm going to try to be civil, and I hope you can do the same."

"James . . ." Lily once again started to speak but was cut off when James turned and continued down the hallway. She didn't follow him for a few minutes after, but instead, stood standing with her back to the wall wondering why she felt like a misbehaving little kid. When had James gotten so mature?

When she finally got the nerve to continue walking, she realized she had no desire to return to the common room. Sylvia would be there to grill her on the meeting, and she didn't really want to talk about it. She decided to go instead to the library where she could look up the Draught of Deliverance and figure out what the potion actually did. Maybe that would explain why James was so attracted to it.

00000

James was unsurprised to see his friends waiting up for him in the dormitory when he returned. Sirius was spread across his bed, thumbing through a magazine while Lupin and Peter were playing Exploding Snap on the floor. Peter looked to be losing, as his hair was still smoking from a particularly good play by Remus. However, the two quickly put their things away, as they saw James walk into the room.

"Ah, Prongs, you're back," Sirius started. "I was worried you might be off somewhere with Evans. I hope you remembered our little date tonight." James thought for a second before he remembered Elizabeth and Meredith, the two Ravenclaws he and Sirius had chatted up before dinner. All thoughts of them had been driven out of his head during the meeting with Dumbledore and Lily. He was glad for the distraction. A night out with the girls would make him forget all his conversations with Lily. He felt a momentary pang of guilt for using the two girls like that, but he managed to make it go away within a few seconds. He figured they were probably using him and Sirius as well. No one seemed to want a serious relationship anymore.

"Ready when you are, Padfoot," he said, managing to crack a fake grin. He watched as Sirius pulled a bottle of something out of his trunk.

"Luckily for you," Sirius replied. "I brought a little friend. You won't even have to think about Lily all night."

"Lily?" James sputtered. "Why would I even think about . . .", but Sirius silenced him with a finger across his lips.

"Silence, my friend," Sirius responded. "I saw the look on your face when you came back here, and I could tell something happened, but don't worry, Ogden's finest will help distract you. Now follow me for an night you won't ever forget."

"Yeah, I'm sure I won't forget the hangover I'm going to get with that stuff," James replied, rolling his eyes as he followed Sirius out of the dormitory. "See you Remus and Peter," he continued with a half-hearted wave to his two friends who would be remaining in the dormitories for the night.

"Bye," Remus said with a small wave back. He seemed as if he wanted to say something else, but he turned back to Peter and began to shuffle the Exploding Snap cards again.

Sirius motioned for him to follow him to the stairs, and James grabbed the invisibility cloak. They made their way carefully through the common room so as not to bump any of the large couches and armchairs spread throughout the room. It took them several minutes to make their way to the Astronomy Tower especially since they saw on the Marauder's Map that Professor McGonagall was patrolling the fourth floor. James grimaced when he realized that he would be doing the same thing the following night with the added bonus of the pounding headache he would surely have the next morning. By the time they finally got there, Elizabeth and Meredith had been waiting for a while and looked rather impatient.

"It's nice to see you finally came," Elizabeth said with a small pout across her heart-shaped face. James noticed the short skirt and tank top she was wearing despite the cool night winds over the tower. It almost made him miss the boring, shapeless outfit Lily had been wearing. Elizabeth's outfit made him feel like she was trying to compensate for something. He hoped it wasn't personality. He didn't want to be stuck up here with some girl rambling on about her shoes and how much she hated Professor McGonagall. "We were beginning to think you'd forgotten us."

"And miss all the fun," Sirius laughed. "And when I brought a fifth member of the company," he continued, holding up the bottle of firewhiskey. "Who wants the first sip?" Meredith gave a short giggle revealing her small, perfect teeth.

"I think I could manage a small taste," she said flirtatiously, reaching for the bottle. Not about to let her get it so easily, Sirius held it above his head and started to walk backwards. He was stopped when he accidentally tripped over a telescope lying on the ground, most likely forgotten by some Astronomy student the previous year. Startled, he was not prepared for Meredith who made a desperate grab for the firewhiskey causing the two to topple over onto the cold stone. Needless to say, they didn't get up for a while.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Here's the third installment of "A Backwards Glance". Just to let everyone know, I spend yesterday outlining the whole story, and I think it's going to be around 20-25 chapters, but that could still change based on how things go. Anyways, like always, hope you like it, and please review.**

Chapter 3

It was easily past one o'clock by the time James and Sirius stumbled their way into the common room, more than a little drunk. Sirius's tie was wrapped around his head and his shirt was hanging open, a few of the buttons having been ripped off. James wasn't looking much better, and he was clutching the empty bottle of firewhiskey in his hand, as he swayed back and forth to a song only he could hear. They both smelled strongly of alcohol, and it was by mere chance that they had made it back to the common room without getting caught, since James had forgotten the Marauder's Map in his pocket, and he had merely wrapped the Invisibility Cloak around his waist, making it look like half of him was missing. Such late night entrances were not rare, and it was a wonder the two of them had only been caught once, an unfortunate event in third year when Professor Slughorn had caught them using "Wingardium Leviosa" to slam pumpkins against the castle wall at two in the morning. They had called it a Halloween prank, but he had not been amused, assigning them a week of detention and a paper involving three hundred years of masonry history.

"I can't believe you survived the summer without me," Sirius said, as he stumbled in. Unfortunately, he didn't make it very far, as he collapsed on top of the very first couch he saw. "That was bloody on par with exploding Snape's trunk on the train."

"You said it, mate," James responded, making a small lurch before collapsing next to the fire where he laid on his back with his hands entwined behind his head. "Bloody brilliant."

"There ought to be some sort of prize for this," Sirius continued. "I mean, I've snogged practically every bloody girl in the school. What else am I going to do with my life?" he said gesturing towards the darkened ceiling.

"Open a house for all the children you're going to father," James suggested with a yawn, as she stretched out next to the fire, his face warmed by the glowing coals. The crimson rug was very comfortable, and he felt he could almost fall asleep there.

"Hmm," Sirius said with a tone of false consideration. "I guess I could. They might have to make it a country though. Not sure if they could fit all those kids in one house, let alone a neighborhood."

"Too bad," Jams replied. "'The Shack for the Spawn of Sirius' was such a good name."

"You know what else starts with 'S'," Sirius asked finally.

"Stingrays?" James questioned, maneuvering his body to get closer to the fire.

"You're being an idiot," Sirius responded by rolling his eyes. "I meant secrets. As, in when are you going to tell me why you're so sore over Lily?"

"Can't this wait till tomorrow?" James said rolling over to face his friend. He was secretly hoping that his friend would forget about it by the time they woke up. "What happened to talking about your overwhelming sex drive?"

"Ah, yeah, but think about it Prongs, it's already been discussed hundreds of times by our school's fine female population. I want to talk about something new," Sirius responded.

"There's nothing new to say," James muttered. "She bloody hates me."

"You're not exactly Mr. Lay-on-the-Charm to her," Sirius noted. "Why don't you talk to her like the way you do to the rest of your girls?"

"Cauldron, remember," James said with a sigh, remembering the disastrous events of the year before. "Apparently my charms weren't very appealing either."

"You know what I think?" Sirius continued without waiting for an answer. "I think it's a new year, and with a bloody new year, comes bloody new chances. So go after the girl. You aren't Hogwart's second-greatest stud for nothing."

"Second best?" James replied rolling his eyes. "Always the egotist, aren't you Sirius?"

"Well, I wouldn't want to lie," Sirius said with a grin. "I mean, Elizabeth was sneaking glances at me the whole time."

"Argh," James groaned. "Next time I go out drinking, I'm taking Remus."

"No way," Sirius exclaimed. "Because then you'd be drinking pumpkin juice."

"But at least the girl I'm with will actually pay attention to me," James responded.

"That's a bit hypocritical mate. Especially since I know you were thinking of Lily the whole time," rejoined Sirius with a smirk. James rolled his eyes and lazily waved his wand around causing Sirius to suddenly fall backwards as the couch tipped back. He landed with a crash on his back and groaned, as his head made contact with the cold stone floor. "Bloody hell, Prongs," he moaned. "It's not like I have many brain cells to spare."

"I can tell," James said laughing at his friend's awkward position. "And how do you know who I was thinking about?"

"You're an open book, mate," Sirius responded, trying to pull himself back up to a seated position, though he failed miserably. "An open book." James shook his head and watched as Sirius was finally able to pull himself up by grabbing on to a nearby chair. James was about to say something, but the sound of Sirius's voice stopped him. "Speak of the devil, Prongs," Sirius exclaimed. "Lily's asleep on one of the couches over there."

"You sure you want to screw around with me again?" James asked with a raise of his eyebrows. "I still have my wand."

"No lie," Sirius responded. "Lily's sleeping over there. But seriously, watch yourself with that thing. You're going to poke someone's eye out." He yawned loudly. "Now, I'm going up to the dormitories, but I'll leave you here. Make good choices, pal." With that, Sirius got to his feet and made his way out of the common room and up the stairs leading back to their room.

James cursed and slowly made his way up off the floor. He was fully intending to follow Sirius up to the dormitories, but a backwards glance showed him Lily lying innocently on a couch in the corner, partially obscured by the nighttime darkness. James wondered why they hadn't seen her when they had come in, but he was thankful that she hadn't been woken up by their talking. He walked over slowly to her and saw that she had her arms clutched around a book as if she had fallen asleep reading. It was too dark to read the title, and he didn't want to disturb her. He saw she was wearing only a tee-shirt and jeans and realized the cool temperature of the common room. Seeing a blanket lying on a nearby chair, he grabbed it and spread it over her sleeping body, and laying a chaste kiss on her pale cheek, he turned around and made his way back to the dormitories.

00000

The next morning found James and Sirius with massive headaches and a general animosity towards the entire world. Though not suffering from a full-fledged hangover, Peter and Remus were also in a foul mood, as they had been rudely awakened early that morning when Sirius had stumbled into the room, quickly followed by James. It had taken them a while to fall asleep again, and as a result, they had woken up tired and moody. Luckily for James, the blinding light coming through the small window in the tower drove all thoughts of Lily from his mind letting him concentrate on more pressing issues like how he was ever going to learn anything when he could barely open his eyes.

"James, why the hell didn't you stop me from drinking this much?" groaned Sirius, as he rolled over in bed. James at least comforted himself with the knowledge that Sirius probably had drunk twice the amount of whiskey that he had. Whatever Sirius was feeling had to be at least twice as bad.

"Don't they say liquor is the nectar of the gods?" Peter added in a characteristic attempt to show off the little he knew. Unlike the others, he was busy skimming over a Transfiguration textbook that he had somehow forgotten to read over the summer. James and Sirius, on the other hand, were simply relying on Lupin to summarize it over breakfast.

"Then a hangover is the nectar of the devil," Sirius said grumpily, shoving a pillow over his head to block out the light flowing through the window. James felt a sudden urge to do the same, but he knew that if he fell back asleep, he would most likely never get up.

"Alright, we're getting up," Lupin said pulling himself up while grabbing his neatly folded robes from the trunk next to his bed. "You know as well as I do that if you three don't get down to breakfast, you'll have no idea what's going on in any of our classes."

"Come on, Remus," Sirius groaned from under the pillow. "You're not seriously threatening to not help us out. Besides, tomorrow's the next full moon, we need plenty of rest." Remus cursed under his breath, as he remembered the upcoming transformation.

"What's that Remus?" asked James. "Did I hear you say something?" With that James slowly pulled himself up and began to rummage through the messy pile next to his bed for something suitable to wear down to breakfast. Remus ignored his comment and continued changing.

"I hope McGonagall doesn't give us lots of homework. Figures that she'd lay it on us first day back," Peter grumbled, as he has too climbed out of bed, laying his book to the side.

"Ah, Peter, you only say that since you haven't mastered the high art of the crap essay," Sirius said finally rolling out of bed to reveal that he had been completely dressed the whole time.

"Sirius, mate, I seem to recall you wearing that same exact outfit last night," James noted, wrinkling his nose at the smell.

"And the girls loved it," Sirius said with a grin. "Why change what works? Now am I the only one who missed Hogwarts' pancakes all summer?" With that, all four boys began to hurry down the staircase leading to the common room in various states of disarray. James' tie was in a loose knot around his neck, while Sirius had looped his around like a scarf. Lupin was the only one neatly dressed while Peter had forgotten his tie altogether.

They reached the Great Hall just as most students had finished eating, and they ran over to the Slytherin table where Sirius grabbed a bowl of rolls while James reached for a platter of bacon. They triumphantly ran from the room with their acquisitions, while ignoring the howls of fury directed towards them from the angry Slytherins.

"Works like a charm," Sirius noted stuffing a roll in his mouth. "I swear, they get stupider each year." James laughed and attempted to grab a roll from the bowl his friend was slinging around in a sort of victory dance.

"Give one here, Padfoot," James said, as his attempts to obtain a roll proved futile. Sirius laughed, as James was forced to do a rather embarrassing spin in order to grab one of the steaming pieces of bread.

"Hmm, Padfoot," said a voice off to the side, surprising the four. They all turned in surprise to see Severus Snape standing about a foot away, watching them with a sneer on his face. "Curious that you would choose a name that accurately describes the dog you are. I'm surprised at your insight." Sirius frowned at the taller Slytherin boy whose eyes were covered by his long greasy black hair.

"Insightful enough to come up with a first-rate nickname for you, eh, Snivellus?" he responded, staring angrily at his rival. Severus didn't seem bothered by Sirius's intensity, he only grinned, eager for the fight.

"Ah, but you forget that now the tables are turned now that I know about him," Snape said pointing at Lupin. Lupin growled, angry that Snape would try to use the knowledge that he was a werewolf against him. Snape laughed. "I see you're turning more and more into a wolf each day," he said to Lupin. "I'd just be careful to keep your paws off your friends. Though I wouldn't mind it, I'd know it'd be awful having to live with yourself after killing your three best friends."

Lupin's eyes filled with pain, but he was prevented from doing anything to the Slytherin boy by Sirius who had already jumped on top of Snape. The two of them fell to the ground where Sirius began to hit Snape wherever he could. James was surprised to see that Snape wasn't fighting back. Instead, he was allowing the other boy to hit him in the face and stomach. Even when blood began to pour from his broken nose, Snape still continued to lay there and merely held up his hands to protect himself.

"Fight back, you bastard," Sirius yelled at the boy, and he punched him again, but Snape continued to do nothing. James began to wonder if something was wrong and was almost going to urge his friend to stop when a sudden distraction made him realize why Snape wasn't fighting back.

"What in Merlin's name?" came a voice a few paces to the left. James, Remus, and Peter looked over to see Professor McGongall standing there with a scowl darkening her face. "Well, don't just stand there," she said angrily to the three boys. "Help me get them apart." As much as he loathed cutting short Snape's punishment, James dutifully leaned down and pulled the greasy-haired Slytherin away from his friend but not without giving him a subtle kick when McGonagall wasn't looking. As soon as the two were apart, he went over to stand by Sirius to emphasize where his loyalties lay.

"It's over, Sirius," he whispered to his friend. "He got what he deserved." But Snape turned and gave Sirius a satisfied look.

"I win," he said softly. "They'll kick you out because of this, and I'll win." Sirius grunted and tried to aim another kick at the Slytherin. However, Remus pulled him away before he could and along with James held him back.

"Don't get yourself kicked out because of me," Remus told his friend quietly. "I'm not worth it."

"Like hell you are," Sirius replied still glaring daggers at Snape standing there cockily with blood pouring freely from his lip and nose.

"Never in all my years at Hogwarts," McGonagall said staring angrily at the four boys. "Black, straight to the headmaster's office. Snape, to the Infirmary with you. James, I expected better of you. You're Head Boy, and you allowed a fight to continue right under your nose." Sirius turned and defiantly made his way down the hall towards Dumbledore's office. He never once looked back and he kept his head up while Snape made his way in the opposite direction towards the Infirmary. "You three," McGonagall continued turning to James, Peter, and Remus, "Off to class with you, and I never want to hear of shenanigans like this occurring ever again."

Remus and Peter dutifully made their way down the hallway with their heads staring down at the ground. However, James would not be dismissed so easily. "Professor," he started looking at McGonagall. He was surprised to see that over the summer he had surpassed the height of his Transfiguration Professor and was now forced to look down at her. "It wasn't all Sirius's fault. Sniv—I mean Snape insulted Remus."

McGonagall sighed. "Be that as it may, Potter, there is no excuse for attacking another student, ever, and Sirius must learn this. I'm sorry that the animosity between him and Mr. Snape reached such a heightened level, but Sirius must deal with the consequences of his actions." James nodded and turned to walk away. "James," McGonagall said with a softer voice this time. "I would suggest making your way to class. Professor Slughorn won't be pleased if you're late to potions on the first day."

James nodded again and made his way down the corridor and found the stairs that would take him down to the Potions dungeon. He was mad at McGonagall for not listening him, and he was mad at himself for doing anything more to save his friend. He knew that McGonagall couldn't show favoritism, but at the moment, all he could remember was the look in Sirius's eyes, as he turned to make his way down the hallway towards Dumbledore's office. James didn't know the specific rules, but he understood that what his friend had done had been a serious offense. It would probably lead to expulsion especially considering that Sirius had already put Snape's life in danger when he tempted him to follow Remus down the path leading to the Shrieking Shack last year. He just couldn't believe that this might be the last day he would ever walk through Hogwarts with his best friend. He kicked a side door in his anger and was pleased to hear the crack of the wood when his foot made contact.

It was a while before he finally made his way down to the dungeon where he sat moodily in the back. The chair next to him remained empty as a nasty reminder of the best friend who should be sitting there next to him cracking jokes and drawing dirty pictures.

"Mr. Potter, I'm so happy you could join us today," Professor Slughorn drawled. "Twenty points from Gryffindor for your unwarranted tardiness."

Little did Professor Slughorn realize that this would be the last straw to break the camel's back. James stood up and pushed his chair away. "I'm not going to pretend you actually want me here, Professor," he said with an undue emphasis on the last word. "I'm leaving." With that, he turned and stalked away from yet another teacher. He didn't fail to recognize the look of questioning from Lily Evans sitting up in the front row, but at the moment, he just didn't care. Trying to think of a place he could be alone, he made his way up to the Astronomy Tower and climbed up the winding stone staircase that led to the wooden door. He opened it and shivered slightly in the crisp morning air.

He laughed bitterly, as he saw the telescope that Sirius had tripped over the night before. Things had seemed so simple back then, but now, Sirius was trapped in the Headmaster's office, and he had just stormed out of class, an action that would get him at least a week's worth of detentions. He walked over to the stone barrier surrounding the edge of the tower and lowered himself to the ground where he sat with his back to the rock. He was there for what seemed like hours before he heard the door leading to the outside of the tower slowly creak open, and a small exclamation at the cold. A few seconds later, Lily Evans made her way out of the door and looked across the tower at him. Her red hair had come undone from the ponytail she had had during Potions class, and it was being blown about gently in the wind.

"You're pretty hard to find," she said as a sort of introduction. She looked a bit nervous, and James could see out of the corner of his eye that her hands were shaking at her sides but that could have just been from the cold. He wondered what she was doing out here. Surely, his abrupt exit from Potions class wouldn't have been enough to send her look for him, but maybe McGonagall had asked her to find him.

"What do you want?" he asked. "If you're here to yell at me for walking out of class, you can save your breath. I'll take my punishment, but I don't want a lecture."

"I wasn't going to yell at you," Lily said softly. "I don't know what happened, but I'm guessing it was pretty serious."

"That's an understatement," James responded bitterly.

"Well, to take your mind off it, I thought you might want to know that I looked up the Draught of Desire last night, and I found out what it does," she continued. "According to _Moste Potente Potions_, it sends the drinker to the place where he or she could do the most good, you know, fix what's broken and all of that."

"Fix what's broken?" James almost laughed at the irony. "You know what, Evans? It was nice of you to come here, but I think it's a little late for that." Sirius's face was still haunting him, and he didn't want to talk about the potion which had seemed so important yesterday.

"James, what happened?" Lily asked, coming over to sit by him. "I don't know everything but maybe I could help."

"No one can help," James said turning away from her. "I can't deal with this right now. And then you come. You show up here acting like you can fix everything, but you know what, there are some things that are beyond repair."

"So you're going to respond by driving me away?" Lily asked. "That's rich of you. And I guess you want me to leave you here to stew in self pity for whatever the hell happened to you. You know what? I'd actually thought you'd changed from last year, but I guess I was wrong."

"Damn it, Evans. Don't you understand?" James responded.

"Understand what? Your foul mood?" Lily shot back.

"I can't do anything right. I watch while my best friend gets carted off to Dumbledore's, probably to be expelled, so you can come up here and act all self-righteous like you always do. Did you hear that? They're going to expel Sirius. They're going to kick out my best friend," James said looking at the ground. "So excuse me for not being excited to see you right now."

"Oh," Lily answered quietly. "I guess that explains the empty chair this morning."

"Right, well, now you understand why I want to be alone," he continued. "No lectures please," he said, as Lily opened her mouth to respond. "I know I stormed out of Potions class, and I'm pretty much guaranteed to fail, but right now, that's not very important to me."

"You know I was going to say something more along the lines of 'I'm sorry'," Lily said, reaching out a shaking hand to touch his knee. He turned to look at her, surprised at the amount of pity in her eyes. "I wasn't very nice just now, and I wanted to apologize. I know you think I'm pretty useless but is there anything I can do to help?"

"Not unless you have a time turner shoved in that bag of yours," James replied. He was surprised when she twisted up in her face in concentration. He had meant it as a throw-away comment, as a way to relieve the surprise he had felt that she had actually offered to help him.

"Not a time turner exactly," she finally spoke. "But the Draught of Deliverance is supposed to allow the drinker to fix what's broken. Maybe that's why you were felt so drawn to it. Maybe because we were meant to drink it so that we could save Sirius."

"We?" James asked in surprise. "I'm not going to ask you to fight my battles, and I know Sirius isn't your closest friend."

"I guess it could be a sort of apology for my behavior earlier," Lily admitted. "And this is going to sound stupid, but I guess I wanted this year to be different, not as much holding back as I have before."

"If this works, don't let Sirius hear you say that," James said. "He'll have you up here too." Lily grimaced.

"Are you trying to get me to back down?" she asked. "I won't do this if you don't want me too." James responded by handing her the bottle and giving her a determined look.

"If you're willing to do this, I'd be grateful for your help," he finally said. She reached for the bottle and gave it a long hard look before holding it up to her mouth to take a sip. A few drops fell in her mouth, and she gagged. She quickly handed it back.

"It stings a little," she admitted. He took the bottle and mirrored her actions, noting the sharp taste. For a few seconds, all he could sense was the burning sensation in his mouth, but once he managed to swallow, he felt his surroundings begin to swirl around him in an unending whirl of color. The only thing that remained constant was Lily sitting next to him with her eyes open in a look of absolute terror. He stretched out an arm to see if she was all right, and she grabbed his hand tightly. However, her fear was unfounded, as a few seconds later, the spinning stopped, and the two found themselves still on top of the Astronomy Tower, a little worse for wear, as Lily's clothes were rumpled, and James's hair was standing straight on end, but definitely unharmed.

James was suddenly reminded that if Sirius was there, he probably would have cracked a joke about disheveled clothes and Astronomy towers, a thought that made him even more anxious to rescue his best friend. However, he frowned when he realized what it meant that they were in the same place that they started out in. "Evans, I don't think anything changed," he said glumly. "We're still on top of the Astronomy Tower."

"But that's ridiculous," Lily replied, still looking a bit disoriented from the potion. "Why would the light have been swirling like that if we were just going to end up in the same place? Unless, maybe it's trying to say that we're still able to save Sirius from where we are currently." James could tell she was trying to keep his hopes up, and while he was thankful for the effort, he still wasn't convinced.

"I still don't get it," he said softly. "After all Sirius has done to you, and you're still helping to save him."

"Like I said before, I'm not doing it for him," she responded, leaving James to wonder what exactly she meant by that. He tried to think of something else to say but was stopped when he saw the look of shock on her face.

"James . . ." she started, and James wondered if she realized that she had used his first name in her state of surprise.

"What is it?" he said urgently, wondering what the matter could be.

"There was a telescope over there, wasn't there?" she asked with a shaking voice.

"Yeah, why?" James replied.

"It's gone."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Chapter four is finally here. I'm planning on probably one update a week from now on, and let's hope I can keep up with that. From this point on, the story switches into the future where all of the familiar characters come back. In terms of continuity, this story disregards books six and seven, because I didn't want to deal with Dumbledore's death and Harry, Ron, and Hermione outside of Hogwarts. Also, the Horcruxes do not exist, as the Voldemort in my story has not split his soul. So please read and review, and let me know if this all makes sense. :)**

Chapter 4

It took a few minutes for the shock to wear off, and when it finally did, a million thoughts assaulted Lily's mind at once. The most logical answer to what had just occurred was time travel, but how could that even be possible? Lily had heard professors talk about time turners, but she'd never actually seen anyone use one, and she'd never heard of a potion that could transport people through time. When she had originally sipped the Draught, she had thought it would send her to somewhere in the present time, maybe to the library where they could find a book with a way to get Sirius out of this mess or at least to Dumbledore's office where they could try to convince him of Sirius's innocence. But it seemed now like the potion had other plans for them. The only thing Lily could think of was that it had sent them to a time before the fight had happened so they could try to stop it.

"Potter," she finally spoke. He looked at her, and it was obvious that he like her was deep in thought. "I don't know how this happened," she continued. "But I think we jumped to a completely different time than the one we left." He nodded once as if to show that he understood though he still looked shaken. "I think our best plan of action right now would be to go down there and see what we can do about Sirius. There has to be a reason why we were sent to this exact moment, and maybe, there's something we can change." He nodded again, and Lily wished that he would say something, his quietness was frightening her. She wasn't used to being the one in control and wished he would take charge.

"Potter, you all right?" she asked finally.

"You could say I'm a little shaken up," he responded, trying to hoist himself up. "It's not every day you drink a mysterious potion and find yourself in another time." He finally managed to stand and took a shaky step forward towards the door. He obviously wasn't in any shape to help her up, so Lily pulled herself up on her own.

"So we'll go find Sirius?" Lily questioned.

"Yeah, let's go save him," James answered, making his way towards the door. "This better work," he said, mirroring Lily's thoughts exactly.

The two managed to make their way down the stairs leading to the hallway without speaking. Lily was a bit worried, since the two of them had of yet to come up with a plan, but she was comforted with the thought that they were meant to be there. However, events took a down turn when the two found themselves at the entrance to the hallway, and James spotted a certain black-haired individual walking down the corridor a bit ahead of them.

"It's Snape," he whispered to Lily. "Get back in the tower."

Lily pulled at his sleeve. "Stop," she said. "I know you're thinking about hurting him, but that's not going to help anything."

"The bastard hurt my friend," James whispered back. "If I do it quickly, he won't even notice us. Get back in the tower," he repeated.

"You shouldn't do this," Lily replied, giving him a sad look, but she complied, knowing she didn't want to get in a fight with the taller boy. From the shadows of the stairwell, she watched James aim his wand carefully, but before he could mutter a quick spell, Snape turned around and yelled, "Expelliarmus."

James suddenly found himself wandless and in the presence of a man who was not the seventeen year old that he had first perceived him to be. Instead, this Snape looked to be approaching forty, but the sneer stretched across his sallow face was still the same one James remembered.

"Harry Potter," Snape said with a sneer ignoring the stunned look on James's face. "Fame finally got to your head? You think that you can go around sneaking out of the feast and hexing teachers when they have their backs turned? I've been telling Dumbledore for years that you're not the golden boy he thinks you are, and right now, I have proof that will finally get you expelled."

"I don't know who the hell this Harry Potter you're talking about, Snape," James responded angrily. "And what the hell are you playing at? Was provoking Sirius to get him expelled not enough for you? Are you trying to drive me insane?"

"Don't play stupid with me," Snape replied icily. "Pretending that you're crazy will only get you a one-way ticket to St. Mungo's, I promise you."

"Stop messing with my head," James yelled. "You're no teacher, Snivellus . . ."

"Where'd you learn that name?" Snape interrupted angrily, grabbing James's shoulders and shaking them. "Oh, yes, I had forgotten. The Pensive that you looked at in fifth year. Saw your father, didn't you? Pathetic James Potter and his little friends. Saw how they used to treat me and decided to follow in their footsteps."

"What are you talking about," James sputtered, pushing the teacher forcibly away. "I'm James Potter, and I sure as hell don't have a son." Even in his anger, James was shocked to see Snape step back in surprise, a look of fright stretched across his face when he looked more closely at the boy standing in front of him.

"It can't be," Snape muttered. "You're dead."

"Obviously not," James responded. "I'm standing right here, you idiot."

From her spot in the stairwell, Lily could tell things weren't going well, so she decided to intervene. She wasn't sure what exactly this all meant, but she knew that if James remained out there alone, he was probably going to get himself killed or at least be the recipient of a great number of hexes.

"James," Lily said coming out of her hiding spot and watching as both males stared at her in surprise. "I think the potion might have sent us further into the future than we expected."

"Lily?" Snape's shock grew even further when he saw the petite redhead. "Who's next? Lupin? Black? Is the whole gang of Marauders going to pop out of the Hogwarts walls?"

"Lucky for you, it's just us," James replied, standing protectively in front of Lily. "Or I don't think you'd still be alive at the moment after what you did."

"That's not helping, Potter," Lily responded shooting him a silencing glare. "So I'm assuming you're a professor now," she said turning to Snape who only nodded dumbly, looking in surprise at the girl who had taken on such a commanding presence. "Which means that the Draught sent us about twenty years into the future."

"The Draught?" Snape asked, his eyes slowly widening. "Surely not . . ."

"Yes, surely not," James mocked. "Come on, Lily. We don't have to tell him anything. Let's go talk to Dumbledore."

"A valid point," Snape responded. "You don't have to tell me anything. But you forget that I'm the one holding your wand."

"Give it here, Snivellus," James replied furiously. "You may be a teacher now, but remember that I'm the one that flipped you upside down in front of the whole school."

"Are you implying that you want the same thing done to you?" Snape returned angrily. He made to move his wand arm when the sound of footsteps distracted him.

"Severus, what is the meaning of this?" came a voice from down the hallway, and all three turned to see Professor McGonagall striding down the hallway in her black robes. "What are these students doing missing the feast?" She gasped when she caught sight of the faces of James and Lily and stopped abruptly. "James and Lily Potter alive? This can't be possible," she said breathlessly, grabbing the wall for support.

"Do I have to keep telling everyone that I'm not dead?" James asked irritably.

"Professor McGonagall," Lily said in relief at the sign of the familiar face. "We need to see Professor Dumbledore right now. It's very urgent."

"Of course," Professor McGonagall replied. "Just come along with me, and the start-of-term feast should be over in a few minutes. I'll take you to his office."

"But . . ." started Snape before McGongall interrupted him.

"For Merlin's sake, what is it Severus?"

"Minerva, I would like you to note that Potter here was about to attack me when I found him in the hallway. Clearly, he is much more dangerous than you expect," Snape answered flashing a look of dislike down at the younger boy.

"That's for the Headmaster to deal with," McGonagall replied coldly. "Now, come along, James, Lily. I'm not quite sure why you're here, but I'm sure Dumbledore will get to the bottom of this."

"I think James will be needing his wand back," Lily noted to Snape who was still holding on to the small wooden wand.

"That he shall," McGonagall answered turning to Snape. "Severus, I'm sure you won't mind if I take this," she said, as she plucked the wand out of his hand. "Now, I'm sure that your help will be needed at the feast in order to help ensure order," she continued to the professor in a voice that suggested strongly that he better do as she said, "while I will take James and Lily up to Professor Dumbledore's office where I hope he can discover the truth of the matter."

Cowed, Snape obeyed and turned around to walk the long trek through the castle towards the Great Hall, yet James did not miss the look of anger that was flashed his way. McGonagall remained oblivious and motioned to James and Lily to follow her, as she began to walk down the hallway in the opposite direction of the one Snape had taken.

"Professor . . ." James started but was silenced by McGonagall.

"Save your story for the Headmaster," she responded. "I'm very much still in shock at the moment, and I think that he should be the first to hear what is going on." The rest of the trip was spent in silence, as James kept flashing brief looks over at Lily who was walking deep in thought. He felt pathetic. He had started off the year with a resolve to get over Lily Evans. Now that he knew that doing so would be practically impossible, he had surely messed up his chances by putting his anger against Snape before her desire that they save Sirius as quickly as possible. Looking over, he suddenly wanted to know what she was thinking. He figured her thoughts were probably more concerned with their current predicament than with himself, and he found himself wondering if she ever thought of him at all.

But even more important was the fact that they were decades into the future, a future that he was apparently dead in. And what did that have anything to do with Sirius, and if this didn't have anything to do with Sirius, than why had they been sent here of all places? James was so caught up in his thoughts that he barely noticed when they reached the gargoyle leading to Dumbledore's office. Only when Professor McGonagall knocked on the wooden door did James realize that he would probably getting some answers in a few minutes.

McGonagall frowned when there was no response. "I see the Headmaster has not returned to his office yet," she noted. "I'll let the two of you in while I go fetch him." James and Lily nodded while Professor McGonagall opened the heavy wooden door. They made their way in and were surprised to see a bushy haired girl who looked to be around their age sitting on a chair near Dumbledore's desk.

"I'll be right back," McGonagall said before she turned around and swept away down the stairs leaving the three teenagers to stare awkwardly at each other.

"I'm Hermione, but who are you?" the girl finally asked. "You can't be Harry, because I just saw him, and you don't have his glasses, but you look an awful lot like him . . ."

"Nah, I'm James," James said walking forward to shake her hand. "James Potter, actually. Not this Harry guy people seem to be mixing me up with. But I'm sure he's a great guy."

"James Potter?" exclaimed Hermione, staring at him in shock. "But how can that be? Time turners are usually only used for short spurts of time, to jump forward and backward a few hours of most. I think the longest time anyone's ever jumped was half a year, and that was under very regulated conditions."

"You know who we are?" Lily asked, staring at the girl who was so deep in thought. "You seem to understand that we come from the past."

"Of course I know who you are," Hermione replied. "I just can't believe I didn't realize it sooner. You're James and Lily Potter, members of the Order of the Phoenix, and murdered by Voldemort shortly after the birth of your son," she said, saying the last part quietly.

"Lily Potter?" Lily exclaimed. "We're married?" The look on her face mirrored the one on James which was a look of complete astonishment.

"Yes," Hermione continued. "And you happen to have a son in my year. Harry."

"A son," Lily repeated. "We're married, and we have a son."

"Yes," Hermione said again. "Sorry, I thought you two knew. I didn't meant to break the news like that."

"No, it's not your fault," Lily said. "It's just a little hard to take in at the moment."

"Well, if you'd like some time to yourselves. I could always wait to talk to Dumbledore," Hermione admitted. "And I should probably tell Harry. He'll be so excited to meet you two. I know he's always wanted to see you, and this will be so great for him." She seemed to realize she was rambling and made her way over to the door. "Nice to meet you two," she finished before opening the door and leaving.

"So . . ." Lily started awkwardly.

"People here are nice," James noted, looking at the floor.

"I thought maybe we could talk about the fact that we just learned that we were going to marry in the future," Lily responded.

"Well, actually in the past," James corrected.

"You know what I meant," Lily said. "Oh, Merlin, I don't even know what to say right now. How did this even happen?"

"What do you mean, 'How did this even happen?'" James asked, his eyes narrowing.

"This doesn't have anything to do with you," Lily answered.

"But of course it does," James cut in. "This has everything to do with me. Apparently, I'm good enough to go traipsing off into the future with, but when it comes to marriage, you want someone better."

"What? So the fact that I decided against my better instincts to help you out means we're destined to end up together?" Lily shot back. "I was being nice."

"Well, thanks for condescending," James answered. "I guess it's a good thing you're finding out about this now, gives you an opportunity to change the future, you know."

"James, I . . ." Lily tried, but James didn't want to listen anymore.

"Save it," he said. "Maybe we can pretend this didn't happen if we don't mention it. Luckily, we're being given the opportunity to save ourselves from a terrible destiny where we would actually spend the rest of our lives together."

"Fine," Lily responded. She didn't even have the heart to remind him that even if they had married, the rest of their lives wouldn't have been very long, since they were obviously dead in this time. "Then, let's just wait for Dumbledore to come back." James nodded, and two of them sat in relative silence for the next ten minutes. James started tapping his foot aimlessly against the wood of the floor but stopped when he realized that Lily wasn't going to say anything. They were both grateful when Dumbledore finally pushed open the door and made his way inside accompanied by Professor McGonagall. He was definitely older-looking than the Dumbledore they had known, but James was thankful to see that he still had the same kind eyes.

"Dumbledore, you see, James and Lily Potter have somehow been transported to Hogwarts," Professor McGonagall said, gesturing towards the two. "It's a miracle, that's what it is."

"Ah, but Professor," Dumbledore started, smiling at the two teens who both refused to look at each other. "Miracles often have basis in fact. Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans, would you care to tell me how Professor McGonagall found the two of you in the midst of an unseemly brawl with our very own Professor Snape."

James looked at Lily, but she refused to move her eyes from Dumbledore's face. "It was a potion," James began to answer. "It was supposed to send us to the place we could do the most good, and somehow, we ended up here," he finished lamely.

"A certain potion called the Draught of Deliverance?" Dumbledore asked with his eyes twinkling. James looked uncomfortable, while Dumbledore continued. "I have to admit that I didn't notice it was missing until the two of you returned from your journey into time, a fact that I am sorely ashamed of."

"Wait, so if we returned, we must have told you everything that happened during our time here. Right?" Lily asked, hoping to find out why they had been sent this far into the future. She was determined to not let James see that their fight had bothered her, and she just wanted to get back to her time as soon as possible.

"Quite fortunately, no," Dumbledore responded. "The two of you had quite wisely Obliviated yourselves before you returned. Definitively the best path in my opinion, as it is always a great burden to know your own future."

"It does leave us with something," James admitted, also trying to put the fight behind him. "We know we survived."

"Quite true, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore replied. "But it also means that things will play out here that you can't change once you go back. I'm sure you've realized what happens to you in the future."

"Yeah, we've found out that for some reason we're married here," James said. "Not exactly sure if that will still play out."

"I was referring more to the fact that you are dead in the future," Dumbledore answered. "But yes, there is also the matter that you two marry after Hogwarts. But the reality is that you can only change the future and not the past. Once you go back, because of the Obliviation, you won't remember that you two will marry and eventually die, so things will eventually play out the way they are supposed to."

"But what if we choose not to Obliviate ourselves?" Lily asked. "We don't even know how we're going to get back."

"Ah, but what we do know is that you find a way," Dumbledore replied, "Because otherwise I wouldn't have had that conversation with Harry on the way up to my office."

"Our son Harry?" Lily asked, and James noted the way she fumbled over the word "our".

"Yes, and I trust your meeting with him will be very interesting indeed," Dumbledore mused. "He's a very remarkable boy, you know. But with two powerful wizards as parents, how could he be any different?"

"I just don't understand how this can be happening," Lily said, trying to change the subject. "We originally drank the potion, so we could save Sirius Black from expulsion. We thought that's where we could do the most good, but then why were we sent twenty years into the future?"

"Ah, that is the question, Ms. Evans," Dumbledore answered. "But I think you know the answer."

"I guess we're needed here more," Lily ventured. "But how we could help, I can barely imagine. We obviously weren't strong enough to contend with whatever force killed us in the first place, and we were adults then."

"The force you're referring to is a dark wizard named Voldemort. I'm sure you remember him from your time," Dumbledore replied.

"Yes," Lily responded. "He was building up power back then. What's he like now?"

"Plotting," Dumbledore said gravely. "And once again building up power, but for what ends, I'm not sure. It was originally your son who stopped his earlier vendetta, but Tom Riddle is back and more powerful than ever, I'm afraid. His Death Eaters flock ever closer around him, and the Ministry still does not know how to respond. They've arrested a few of his followers, but still more are drawn to his message of hate. The Ministry is once again choosing to pretend that the arrests have been enough, but these are still unstable times hidden over by a delicate layer of pretended normalcy. All I can tell is that you two are to play a role, but I am not sure what."

"But what are we to do in the mean time?" Lily asked.

"Take the role of students," Dumbledore responded. "You two left on the eve of your seventh year if my memory serves me right, so I know your education is not yet complete. The other students will ask questions, but we will merely tell them you were sent here by a fluke charm and trust that their imaginations will let them come up with a more adequate explanation. They will talk of course, but I see no other way. Meanwhile, you two will watch and learn about these times. You two will certainly become involved, and I hope that you will be adequately prepared. Now, Professor McGonagall," he said motioning to the woman who had been otherwise silent throughout the meeting, "Will you show these two fine students to the Gryffindor common room? I realize they probably know the way, but I wouldn't want any more mishaps to occur."

"Of course, Headmaster," Professor McGonagall responded, but James opened his mouth before they could leave.

"Wait, Professor Dumbledore, what happened to Sirius?" he asked. "Was he expelled?"

"Oh, no, he wasn't expelled," Dumbledore answered. "No, young Sirius told me the whole story, and I decided that at least some of the fault resided on the shoulders of a young Severus Snape. The two of them were forced to spend a bright fall day cleaning the owlery, but for the rest of the school year, they managed to continue their fights on a far more private level."

"Can we see him?" James asked, hoping to see his friend even though he would be many years older from the last time they had been together. At least he would be one last vestige of normalcy. For the life of him, James couldn't imagine that a mature Sirius could even exist.

"I'm afraid that's not possible," Dumbledore responded, and his eyes filled with sadness.

"It can't be," Lily said quietly. "He's not dead too, is he?"

"He can't be," James said quickly, trying to ignore the sad looks in both of the adults' eyes. "He couldn't be . . . Sirius was too strong to be . . ." But Dumbledore nodded, and James felt his heart rip apart. "No," he said, and suddenly, he knew he had to get out the room. Ignoring Dumbledore's original request that Professor McGonagall take them back to their rooms, he ran to the door and threw it open. Running down the stone steps, he oriented himself upon reaching the corridor below the office. All he knew was that he needed to get alone, somewhere where he wouldn't be bothered by other students or teachers who would ask who he was and what was wrong. Thinking for a few seconds, he remembered that the lake would probably be empty on a cold fall night so soon after the feast.

It didn't even seem strange to him that he was far more upset over hearing of Sirius' death than hearing of his own. Sirius had always seemed like the invincible one, the one that couldn't be killed, and to hear that he was gone seem to defy logic. How could he not exist in this world? How could he not exist anymore at all?

It took him less than five minutes to find his way out of the castle, but despite his fast pace, he wasn't able to make it all the way down to the lake. Halfway down the path, he felt a strange sensation take over his feet. All of a sudden, they were bound together, and he tripped and fell sprawling to the ground, feeling dazed and confused.

"Harry Potter," a gleeful voice came from over him, and he turned over to see a pale faced boy smiling down on him. "Thought your prank on the train was funny, didn't you? Exchanging my candy for your damned stupid puking pastilles may have allowed you a few laughs, but don't think that I didn't notice. And I definitely didn't think you were stupid enough to come down here alone, but I guess I was pleasantly surprised."

"Who the hell are you?" James asked angrily, wondering why he kept getting blamed for all his son's problems. "And what are you talking about? Whatever this Harry Potter did to you, it wasn't me so take your petty revenge and shove it." The boy looked at him with a confused expression on his face before regaining his former smirk.

"You're right. You're not the Boy Wonder," he said, scuffing the ground with a pointed toe. "But why the resemblance? You could be his twin."

"James Potter," James answered. "I'd shake your bloody hand, but I'm stuck on the ground here. Now, let me go."

"James Potter," the boy said, his eyes narrowing. "That's not possible. He's . . ."

"Dead, I know," James interrupted. "There's no need to ask who you are. Pale hair, skinny legs, you're obviously a Malfoy. I guess the family's still into conspicuous consumption," he said nodding to the elaborate silver pin holding up his robes. "But I'm guessing your father's still not on his first wife. He never was very good at holding on to girls."

"Don't talk about my family like that," Malfoy spat angrily. "You're not exactly in a position to fight back," he said, kicking James in the side. "I don't know how you got here. It was probably one of Dumbledore's tricks but don't think you're going to get by easy here. Your son's the reason my father's in jail, and I'm not going to forget that."

"Because having an enemy that fights when his opponent's back is turned is such a challenge," James returned. "If you were a real man, you would have challenged me to my face."

"I pick my battles," Malfoy responded. "And looks like I won this time. I'll be seeing you around, Potter," he finished and giving him a mock salute, he turned around and went up to the castle. James was silent as the other boy retreated. He didn't want to draw attention to the fact that Malfoy had forgotten to take his wand.

Figures, he thought. Like father like son. As soon as the other boy's footsteps had faded, he pulled his wand out of his robe's pockets and removed the curse. He got up shakily and decided to return to the castle. He still was upset about Sirius, but he had lost the urge to walk down to the lake. Right now, all he wanted was to curl up and go to sleep and forget this nightmare had ever happened.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Not many notes for today other than enjoy chapter five!**

Chapter 5

Harry Potter wasn't one for listening to gossip but that didn't stop him for hearing a bunch of sixth-years discussing the foul mood that Snape had been in earlier that evening when he had assigned three Hufflepuffs detention for humming too loudly in the hallway after the feast. Harry sighed, as he settled into one of the big, comfy couches in the dimly-lit common room. Any year that began with Snape in a bad mood was bound to have a poor start. The year already seemed to be somewhat of a downer, as Hermione was off on Head business and Ron was off writing his mother to send all the things he had forgotten.

Plus, there had been the fiasco on the train. It hadn't been his idea, but that didn't stop him from feeling guilty. It had been so easy. Malfoy had left his seat in the train to go torment some first years, and Ron had noticed the open bag of imported French candies lying on his empty seat. Noticing the similarities, Ron had suggested mixing some puking pastilles in with the rest of the candy, and Harry had agreed, still feeling slightly angry from spending the whole summer at the Dursleys. Harry had snuck into the compartment, and the task was done without anyone the wiser. The last Harry had heard from Malfoy was him storming down the train corridor yelling about how his new robes had been ruined. He wasn't sure if Malfoy had realized who the culprit was, but he knew that Malfoy would probably suspect him and thought he should probably stay wary of the other boy. If only he hadn't listened to Ron, this whole thing could have been avoided, but Harry was also aware of the small tingling in the back of his conscience that kept reminding him that he was sinking to Malfoy's level by being the first to attack the other boy. He tried to remind himself that Malfoy deserved it, but he knew that he shouldn't have done it and that he only had himself to blame.

Stuck in these thoughts, Harry barely noticed when the portrait hole opened and one of his best friends Hermione Granger made her way inside. Her normally bushy hair seemed even more out of order than usual, and it looked like she had run all the way back to the tower.

"Harry," she exclaimed. "You'll never guess who's here." Her eyes were bright with anticipation, and Harry wondered what her excitement was over. Probably a famous new professor that missed the feast, he thought.

"Who?" he asked, hoping that he wouldn't get dragged to yet another lecture on "A History of Magical Culinary Arts".

"Your parents," Hermione answered, and Harry felt his heart stop. "I don't know how," she continued. "But somehow they were transported here from the past. Can you believe it? They're the same age as us."

Harry didn't know what to say. For starters, the idea that his parents were here was impossible. You couldn't just spend your whole life hoping for something to happen and then have a twisted version of it randomly occur on the first day of seventh year. Life didn't happen like that. He knew he should be happy, that this is what he had always wanted, but somehow, all he could remember was a scene he had seen in Snape's office two years before.

"Where are they?" he finally asked, and Hermione smiled.

"I left them in Dumbledore's office," she answered. "They were having trouble adjusting to the fact that they were married in the future. I guess they didn't get along so well in the past or something like that. Anyways, I guess they're still talking to Dumbledore, but I'm sure they'll be over soon. I can't believe you're going to meet them," she continued excitedly.

"Yeah, it's great," Harry said.

"You don't seem that excited," Hermione responded. "This is huge. I'm sure there's so much they can tell us. I wonder how different the teaching methods were back then and of course, what classes were offered. This is going to be wonderful."

"Yeah, because I'm sure my dad is the type to go over teaching methods," Harry answered.

"What's wrong with you?" Hermione asked. "I thought you'd be happy."

"Hermione, you didn't see my father in the Pensive. He was around our age back then, and he was a git. He tortured Snape for fun, and he was a real ass to my mother. It's one thing to want to have parents but to have them here as teenagers, its completely different," Harry responded. "I guess what I'm trying to say is what if I hate my father?"

"So you're scared that they'll mess up your perfect idea of your parents?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah," Harry admitted. "What if they're not as perfect as I thought they'd be?"

"Well, then, I guess they'd be human," Hermione responded. "Harry, you're one of my best friends, and I've seen you face unbelievable circumstances, so I don't want to hear you say that you don't want to meet your parents. They're not going to be perfect, but they're also not going to be terrible either. Harry, this is the mother who is going to give her life to protect you from Voldemort, and the father who tried to save you both. You have to at least give them a chance."

"All right," Harry agreed. "But can you be there with me?"

"Of course," Hermione asked. "Contrary to how you think your father will behave, I'm still interested in the teaching methods they're used too, and I'll even go find Ron to be there too. For Merlin's sake, if the boy can't remember to bring his cauldron in his final year at Hogwarts, I don't know how he's going to graduate."

"With a lot of help from you," Harry said, trying to grin and Hermione smiled back at him.

"You're probably right," she agreed. "Now, wait here. I'll be back as soon as I can, and we'll wait for them to come."

00000

Lily didn't know what to think as she made her way through the Hogwarts' corridors with Professor McGonagall. She wasn't sure why she had been so hasty to tell James that she was upset that they would be married in the future. She had been right when she had said that it didn't have anything to do with him. The truth was she was scared of ever allowing herself to get that close to someone. Even with Sylvia, she knew she had never been completely open with her best friend. And to hear that she would marry James, the boy who was making her feel so confused, what with him acting nicely one second and then attacking Snape the next, she didn't know what to think, so it was easier to push him away and pretend she didn't care. All she knew was that he was off somewhere in the castle, mourning the loss of his best friend, and the last thing she had said to him had been about her not wanting to be with him. She was terrible.

And now she was off to meet her son, a boy who would obviously be a mix of both her and James. What would he even be like, she wondered. Dumbledore had said that he had saved the wizarding world from Voldemort many years before, but did that mean their son would be proud of his accomplishments or would he feel separate from the rest of the school because of what he had done. The real question was whether he would like her. She hoped he would, especially since the boy's father probably wouldn't want to see her much anymore. It would be nice to have some friends in the future even if they were her descendants.

"We're here," Professor McGonagall said, breaking into Lily's thoughts. They were standing in front of the familiar portrait of the fat lady, and Lily realized that she didn't know the password. "Will you be all right?" McGonagall asked, looking at her in concern. "I'll go look for James if you'd like me too. I know he's probably one of the only people you feel comfortable with right now."

"No, it's all right," Lily responded. "I think he needs some time to himself. Sirius was his best friend."

"I remember," McGonagall said wistfully. "Those boys were inseparable. I remember trying to assign them separate detentions, and they'd always sneak back to the same room, so they wouldn't have to suffer alone. It hurt Sirius deeply when your father died, Lily."

"So James died before Sirius?" Lily asked. "At least then when we go back, he won't have to deal with the death of his best friend again."

"Yes," McGonagall answered. "I'm not sure if this would be the best thing to tell James right now, but Sirius was actually only killed a mere two years ago whereas James and yourself have been dead for almost sixteen years. It was a terrible day. It was his own cousin who did it, Bellatrix Lestrange."

"It's too bad we couldn't have come back then," Lily said softly. "Maybe then we could have done something to save him. I feel like we failed him twice."

"Don't ever let yourself feel that way," McGonagall responded. "Bellatrix Lestrange was a highly trained witch. You and James would have been easy pickings for her, and Merlin knows what would have happened if you two had died in the future. Why, then, Harry would have never been born, and we would have been doomed."

"I guess," Lily answered, but she still wished they could have done something. She didn't want to have to see that sad look in James's eyes ever again.

"Are you ready to go in and meet your son?" McGonagall asked. "I know he'll be happy to meet you. He misses the two of you terribly."

"All right," Lily replied, but she longed to say that Harry couldn't possibly miss her, because it sounded like he'd never known her. How could she meet a random stranger and all of a sudden be introduced as his mother when they were the same age?

"Godric's Hollow," Professor McGonagall said to the portrait, and it swung open obligingly. "Good luck," she told Lily. "And I'm sure James will be back shortly, though I shudder to think in what kind of trouble he might find himself in."

"Thanks," Lily told her, and she made her way in through the portrait hole. The first thing that struck her when she entered was that it still looked the same as it had twenty years ago. Random groups of students still clustered around tables playing games of Exploding Snap and Wizarding Chess while the more studious students hushed them from behind stacks of books. Lily almost felt like crying when she realized that she was standing in her own common room surrounded by students that she couldn't even recognize. The only familiar face was the girl she had met before, Hermione, she thought her name was.

Lily was suddenly struck by the face of the boy who was sitting on the couch next to Hermione who could have been a mirror image of James except for his eyes, they were hers. He was staring directly at her, and she couldn't tell if the expression on his face was hostile or friendly. It was more of a frightened look, and she wondered what he had to be scared of. The only other boy on the couch was a tall, gangly red-haired boy who looked ill at ease in the situation. All of a sudden, Lily didn't know what to do, and she stopped, staring at the three on the couch, willing the awkwardness to end. She suddenly wished James was at her side.

"Lily Potter," Hermione finally said across the common room. "I'd like you to meet your son, Harry Potter." Lily felt herself move across the common room, and she realized that she was actually walking over there to meet the boy.

"Hi," she said shyly when she got there, and she put out her right hand for the boy to shake. She felt that a hug might have been more appropriate, but she didn't even know the kid. "It's actually Lily Evans for now."

Harry continued to stare at her, but he finally stuck his hand out to shake hers. "Harry," he said quickly, and then dropped his hand back to his side. "It's nice to meet you."

"And I'm Ron," said the boy to his left, who also held out his hand to shake. "I'm Harry's best friend."

"One of Harry's best friends," Hermione corrected. "Why don't you pull up a chair?" she asked Lily. "Where's James." Lily complied and pulled over one of the nearby chairs.

"He's around," she said, not wanting to reveal the true reasons behind his absence. "I figured I'd come by and say hello."

"McGonagall tell you where you're going to stay yet?" Ron asked curiously.

"Yeah, I think I'll be staying here," Lily answered.

"You can take Lavender Brown's bed," Hermione responded with a roll of her eyes. "She practically lives with her boyfriend in Ravenclaw. Lily noticed that Ron blushed when she said that, but he didn't say anything. "So what's it like in the past?"

"It's pretty much like this," Lily admitted. She was beginning to feel a bit more comfortable around the three teenagers. "Though definitely more calm. Do you have your own form of the Marauders?"

"Well, there's Harry and me," Ron replied. "Together, we've probably broken more than a million school rules." He laughed when Hermione rolled her eyes. "But other than that, troublemaking has been pretty lax around here."

"With James here, that might start to change," Lily mused. Inside, she kept thinking about him being here without any of his friends, but then she realized that Dumbledore had only said that two of the Marauders were currently dead. "Wait, what happened to Pettigrew and Lupin?" she asked.

Hermione and Ron looked awkwardly at each other, and Harry looked down at the floor. Hermione finally spoke. "Professor Lupin was actually a teacher here during our third year," she said. "He's doing some work for the Order right now, and I'm sure he'd love to meet James if there's ever an opportunity."

"And Pettigrew?" Lily pressed.

"He was a traitor," Harry said softly. "He's the reason you two are dead. Sixteen years ago, Peter Pettigrew told Voldemort where the two of you were, and he came and killed you both. He was your friend, but he betrayed you." Lily gasped, and Hermione and Ron looked at him as if questioning him for his lack of tact.

"Those were very hard times," Hermione told Lily. "Peter made a terrible choice, and it's hard to understand why anyone could do anything like that but . . ."

"I just can't believe he would do that" Lily responded. "He was one of James's best friends, but now, you're telling me that he went behind our backs to join up with Voldemort. That's ridiculous."

"Yeah, try saying that's ridiculous when he cuts your arm open so that Voldemort can be reborn," Harry answered. "Pettigrew was evil."

Lily wasn't really sure what to say to that. She realized that her son had gone through much more than she ever would and that she probably would never understand him, not that she would ever really get the chance too, seeing as she would die close to his first birthday. She was saved from responding by the sound of the portrait hole opening. A familiar boy climbed through, and Lily was relieved to say it was James. She wondered why there were some leaves in his hair and some grass stains on his jeans, but felt that if he wanted to talk about it, he probably would tell her later. However, at the moment, the real issue was that half the common room was staring at him and then staring back at Harry as if they'd seen a ghost. James looked uncomfortable at the attention and looked like he just wanted to collapse on a bed and go to sleep.

"Lily," he said walking over, as soon as he recognized a familiar face. "I think I'm going to find a place to sleep. I really don't want to talk to anyone right now." Lily realized he hadn't yet seen his son, sitting on the couch in front of him.

"James, before you go, you should probably meet Harry," she told him. She motioned to the black-haired boy on the couch. James looked up and noticed Harry.

"Oh, hey," James said. "Listen, I'd really appreciate it if someone had some fire whiskey. I've got a bitch of a headache, and I'm hoping it'll help me sleep."

"Uh," Ron answered. "I might have some butterbeer up in my room."

"Butterbeer?" James asked skeptically. "Whatever. Bring it down." Ron got up mechanically to go get it, and Harry continued to look down.

Lily tried to end the awkwardness. "So," she started. "We ran into Snape on the way to Dumbledore's office. I heard he's a professor here."

"Yeah," Hermione said. "He teaches Potions. Ron and Harry feel that he's biased against anyone who isn't in Slytherin, and I do admit that he's rather hard on them."

"Bloody bastard," James interjected. "What was Dumbledore thinking letting him stay here? The guy was already waist-deep in the Dark Arts."

"Was he really?" Harry asked, and Lily was surprised at the hostility she sensed in his voice. "Is that why you hung him upside down in front of the whole school? Because I thought it was because he existed, not because he was into the Dark Arts."

"How do you know about that?" Lily asked.

"It doesn't matter," Harry responded. "What matters is that my dad, who I haven't ever gotten to know, walks in here, and he barely says hi to me."

"Your dad?" James asked. "I barely know you. I'm seventeen, not thirty. I can't be your father." He paused and seemed to notice the crushed expression on Harry's face. "Damn it," James cursed. "Just bring me the bloody butter beer and let me go."

"It's here," Lily said handing it to him. She had taken it from Ron who had returned just in time to hear James's outburst.

"Listen," Ron said. "You don't talk to my friend like that."

"Watch me," James responded, and he grabbed the butter beer and made his way upstairs.

"What an ass," Ron noted as soon as James was out of the room.

"He just found out that Sirius died," Lily said softly. "He was his best friend."

"But still, he didn't have to talk to Harry like that," Ron replied, and Lily realized that she was sick of them judging her friend who was clearly hurting.

"I'm not going to apologize for him," she said. "I know all of you probably expected something different, but you're going to have to take James the way he is."

"I guess you did," Ron noted.

"Yeah, I guess I did," Lily said, and she realized it was the first times she had acknowledged that James and her would have a future together. However well-meaning these kids were, she knew that she belonged upstairs with James. She had never felt so protective of someone before, but she knew that he needed someone to be there for him. "I'll be back," she said, and she turned to make her way up to the boy's dormitories. She walked up the stairs slowly, glad that they didn't turn into a slide the way the girl's staircase did whenever a boy tried to make his way up there, a fact she had learned when she had found a clearly confused Sirius laying at the bottom of a slide one day in third year. Deciding that James would probably be in the seventh year boy dormitories, she knocked hesitantly on the door.

"James," she called out. "It's Lily." She heard some shuffling inside, but there was no answer. "James," she repeated. "Please, I want to talk to you."

"Are any of them with you?" a voice came from behind the door. Lily wasn't sure, but it sounded almost as if he'd be crying though she knew for sure that James Potter didn't cry.

"No," she responded. "I'm alone."

"I guess you can come in then," the voice came again but softer this time.

Lily pushed the door slowly open to see James lying face-up on one of the empty beds. Contrary to what Lily had originally thought, his face was completely dry, and he looked merely pensive, as he continued to stare up at the ceiling. He seemed totally unaware of his surroundings even though she instinctively wrinkled her nose at the pungent smell of unwashed clothes. Lily wasn't exactly sure what to say. She knew how to deal with Sylvia's over-the-top rages, but this silence was unnerving. She settled with walking over the bed and sitting next to him.

"James," she said softly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," he responded. "But don't leave." Now that she was closer to him, she could smell the butter beer on his breath, and even though she knew that alcohol content was rather low, she could tell that he had drunken quite a bit. Otherwise, she didn't think he would have asked her to stay. He was too proud for that.

"Yeah, sure," she answered and getting off the bed, she pulled over a nearby chair. Seeing a Transfiguration book partially hidden under a pile of clothes, she fished it out and opened it to a later chapter. She wasn't even halfway through the chapter when she heard the even sound of James's breathing. Looking at him finally, she was glad to see that he finally had a peaceful expression on his face, as if the only place he could escape from his troubles was in his dreams. After a few minutes, she realized how out of place she looked in the seventh year boys' dormitory especially since James was already asleep, so she got up and placed the book aside. She wasn't ready to go talk to the Gryffindors downstairs, and she realized she needed some fresh air.

She all of a sudden remembered the Invisibility Cloak James had had. No one but the Marauders was supposed to know about it, but she had heard Sirius discussing it one late night in the Common Room when he thought no one was around. Since it had been James's, she assumed that it must have been passed along to Harry. Looking around, she saw a battered trunk with some Quidditch robes hanging out of it. Definitely Harry's, she thought. Any son of James would rather die than not be on the Quidditch team. Walking over, she opened the lid of the trunk and after digging through a few layers of robes and jeans, she found it, a silvery-colored garment that seemed to flow like water when she picked it up. It almost slipped out of her hands, and she tightened her grip in order to examine it. It was beautifully made, and she'd never seen anything that looked so ancient and durable, but at the same time delicate. She wanted to examine it further, but she realized that if she wanted to sneak out of the castle, she should probably do it sooner rather than later, so she could get back before people noticed she was gone.

So wrapping the cloak around herself, Lily made her way out of the dormitory and down the staircase. Walking through the common room, she was careful not to bump into anyone or make any loud noises. Before she reached the door, she looked back at Harry, Hermione, and Ron who were still seated on the couch. Harry had his head on Hermione's shoulder, and she was talking earnestly to him while Ron looked on. Lily quickly averted his eyes when she saw the look of suffering on Harry's face. She wanted to go apologize, to say that James had meant nothing of what he had said, but what could she do? Take the cloak off in the middle of the common room and essentially admit that she had borrowed it without asking? She decided to take the coward's way out and made her way to the portrait hole. Swinging it open partly, she hoped that no one else saw it open. She squeezed her way out and made her way down the corridor outside. It was an easy trek down to the doors, and she encountered no teachers on the way.

Pushing the heavy wooden doors open, she realized how refreshing the cold night air felt on her face, though she shivered slightly in her school uniform, as the cloak provided no warmth. The night was perfect, and the stars shone brighter than usual leaving the yard bathed in a silvery light. Figuring that no one would be looking out the window this late at night, she flung the cloak off and ran around the yard until she got dizzy and fell onto her back. Looking up at the stars, she marveled that they were the same ones that had been shining during her time. The grass felt prickly on her legs, but it was little inconvenience compared to the freedom she felt. Almost wishing she could stay out there forever, she realized she should probably go inside, so she pulled herself up and retrieved the Invisibility Cloak that was still lying a few feet away. Regretfully, she wrapped it once again around her shoulders, never knowing that someone had seen her ten minutes of freedom.

00000

The Astronomy Tower wasn't only known to the Marauders. Draco Malfoy had taken more than his fair share of Slytherin and Ravenclaw girls up there for a quick snog and maybe even a little more. This time, he was waiting for Melinda Roberts, a Ravenclaw sixth year who had promised to meet him up there after getting her things sorted in her dormitories. Draco didn't even think she was that pretty, but she was willing, and he wasn't going to be picky on the first day of school especially after the encounter with Potter's dad. That especially needed to be cleansed from his memory. He didn't want to think of the consequences of having still another Potter at Hogwarts, and it would be even more confusing to begin to think of how he had even gotten here. It would be a nice tidbit to report to his father and would probably endear him to Voldemort, but right now, he had no incentive to get involved.

Looking at his watch again, Draco cursed. It was getting late, and Melinda still wasn't here. He wasn't used to waiting for people, and he decided that it might be best if he just left. Still, he decided to take one last look over the edge of the tower and what he saw made him freeze for a second. The figure of a girl around his age with flowing dark red hair was running about the Hogwarts yard. He watched her until she finally flopped onto the ground to look up at the stars. He didn't know who she was, and at the moment, he really didn't care. She was one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen in his life.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Thank you so much for all the reviews last chapter. Right now, what I'm most concerned with is keeping characters in character and just keeping their actions consistent, so I hope that with this chapter that everyone acts as they are supposed to. But anyways, let me know what you think and if there's anything you feel doesn't ring true, definitely feel free to tell me.**

**Edit: I'm reposting this, because of the reviews I got noting Snape's over-the-top and unwarranted treatment of Lily. Looking back, I realized they were right, and there was no reason for Snape to treat her so terribly outside of his feelings for James. So, I tried to fix it so that Snape is still offensive but that it is directed towards James who he is still bitter towards, because he does give Lily a good grade once she is away from James. I hope it helps, and I really appreciate that everyone that reviewed for catching the inconsistency. **

Chapter 6

For the second day in a row, James Potter woke up with a splitting headache. It was morning, and the sun was beginning to stream through the window illuminating a room containing six beds with various luggage spread throughout the room. Usually a scene like that would cause James to roll over and go back to sleep, but the sight of the unusual occupants in the other beds caused him to relive the previous day's events. He cringed as he remembered finding out about Sirius's death and felt even worse when he remembered what he had said to Harry. Harry, there he was, lying on a bed across the room paging through one of his textbooks. He didn't seem to have noticed that James was awake, and James wasn't sure he wanted the other boy to realize it yet. He didn't want to screw up again.

After a few minutes, James finally rolled over, and the sudden noise caused Harry to look up. "You up?" Harry asked. "Breakfast is starting soon."

"You're talking to me?" James asked in surprise, pulling himself up. He felt dizzy at first, but the feelings of vertigo soon passed. Noticing an empty bottle of butterbeer at the end of the bed, he pushed it off, and it fell nosily on the ground.

"Yeah, I guess so," Harry admitted. "Though it's not easy."

"Then why are you doing it?" James asked. He was a little curious. He knew he couldn't forgive that easily. He looked over at the other boy who had laid down his book and was looking back at him.

"Hermione convinced me it was the right thing to do," Harry answered. "She thinks that you had said most of that stuff in the heat of the moment, and that I should give you another chance. Plus, you're my dad. I've been waiting to meet you for my whole life."

"Wow," James responded. "Guess I was kind of a disappointment, huh?"

"A little," Harry smiled. "But I guess I should have been prepared. I looked in Snape's pensive and saw you hanging him upside down him two years ago."

"Hey, you have to realize that was two years ago for me too," James answered. "I'm not so much of a bastard anymore."

"Because of mom?" Harry asked.

"Because Snape showed me what I had been acting like when he started to fight back," James admitted. "And yeah, Lily too, I guess. She came up to my room last night, didn't she?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "She must have stayed there a while. I don't remember seeing her come back down."

"And after all I said . . ." James mused. "She's definitely quality."

"Yeah," Harry said quietly. "I wish I could have known her."

"Hey, we're not leaving anytime soon," James said. "Maybe you could help me keep all the other guys away from her." James grinned, and Harry laughed for the first time that morning. James was struck by how close the sound of Harry's laughter resembled the sound of his own laugh. It was pretty disconcerting.

"How about breakfast?" James asked, pulling himself off the bed. "You ready for your first day?"

"Sounds good," Harry agreed, climbing down from the bed. "I'll go grab Hermione and Ron from the common room while you get changed, and we can all go down together."

"Slight problem," James grinned. "No clothes."

"Grab some of mine," Harry returned. "They're in the trunk."

"Thanks," James answered. "It's nice to know someone here has my back?"

"No problem," Harry responded, and James was convinced that the other boy actually meant it.

00000

Waiting around in the common room for James to finish up, Harry was struck by how fast his attitude towards James had turned. He had sat on his bed for an hour this morning trying to think of what to say to his father. One side of him wanted to just ignore Hermione's advice and just pretend that the boy didn't exist. But yet another side of him realized how much he wanted to get to know the boy who would one day become his father and die trying to protect him and his mother. When James had finally awoken, Harry hadn't said much, but all of a sudden, he found himself really liking the other boy and talking to him as a friend. And then James had expressed gratitude that he had his back, and Harry hadn't minded it at all. It was easy to forget the past night's events and pretend that this was their first encounter. Yet, Harry wondered if James would ever relapse into his old self.

"Hey Harry," Hermione said smiling at him, as she came over from the corner where she had been talking to Ron. "Have you talked to James yet?"

"Yeah," Harry admitted. "I think we're friends now."

"I'm really happy for you," Hermione responded smiling. "I wish I could have talked to Lily, but she came up really late, and she's still asleep."

"Should you go wake her up?" Harry asked.

"I figured she could use the extra sleep," Hermione remarked. "I'll bring her up some food before Potions."

"Ugh, Potions first," Ron grimaced, as he walked over to the two. "Way to screw over a perfectly good day."

"You two should just be glad you qualified for NEWT level Potions," Hermione responded. "If it hadn't been for Dumbledore, Snape wouldn't have let you in."

"And I thought a A was a perfectly good score on Potions," Ron admitted. "Seriously. Not everyone can get straight O's."

"I got an E in Defense Against the Dark Arts," Hermione said quietly, and Ron rolled his eyes.

"But Harry didn't," Ron said high-fiving Harry. "Nice job, pal."

"Thanks, but Hermione, Ron's right," Harry responded earning a happy look from Ron. "Snape's NEWT class was brutal last year."

"Are you guys talking about classes?" came a voice from behind Hermione, and Harry saw James come over to join them. "Seriously, it's before breakfast."

"Well, you knew Snape, didn't you?" Ron asked. "Was he as uptight about potions in your time too?"

"Oh, yeah," James answered. "Potions was the only class that someone did better than Lily in, and Snape never let anyone forget it. I seriously used to think he slept in a cauldron."

"Figures," Ron said laughing. "Well, let's see how well he likes you. If you're decent, you might scrape by with an A for the year." Harry saw a look of something pass over James's face but it soon passed.

"I don't think there's much chance of that," James admitted. "Is Lily coming down, because I'm seriously going into food withdrawal?" he said changing the subject quickly.

"I was going to let her sleep," Hermione admitted. "I'll grab her before Potions."

"It might be nicer to let her sleep through that," Ron continued. "Seriously, if there's a hell it probably resembles that classroom."

With that, the four teenagers began to walk out of the common room. It was a short walk to the Great Hall, and Ron quizzed James about famous Quidditch players that had been around during James's time. Ron was horrified when James admitted not liking the Chudley Cannons very much, but James redeemed himself when he listened to Ron discuss his new broomstick for almost ten minutes. Hermione pretended to be interested in the conversation, but Harry could tell that the talk of Quidditch bored her like usual. Even he wasn't very much involved in the conversation. Harry hadn't grown up hearing about Quidditch, so he didn't know any of the famous players Ron was asking about except for one or two that he had read about in _Quidditch through the Ages_.

All in all, Harry was grateful by the time he reached the Great Hall. He was starving and was eager to get to the Gryffindor table. What he wasn't anticipating was that the story of James and Lily's arrival had spread like wildfire throughout the school so that when the four entered the room, the entire school's eyes were on them. Harry glanced at James and saw that he wasn't fazed by the attention. In fact, he seemed used to it, a fact that Harry wasn't surprised about. Ron seemed happy about the attention as well, and he was slightly pink, as he made his way over to the Gryffindor table. Hermione seemed a bit abashed, though she frowned when she saw Lavender Brown look admiringly over at Ron to the disgust of her Ravenclaw boyfriend.

When they were all seated and about to eat, Harry noticed that Dumbledore was standing in the front of the room, as if he had something to say. The room quickly quieted, as the students began to realize their headmaster was about to give a speech.

"I know this is somewhat unusual," Dumbledore started. "But I'd like to introduce you to our two newest students. Arriving just last night, Lily and James Potter will be joining the seventh year class." The room began to buzz loudly at this, and Dumbledore had to clear his throat to maintain order. "I expect you to treat them just as you would any other student here, with respect and dignity. They have to adjust to living during this time, and I expect that you will make that transition as easy as possible. So, please, feel free to introduce yourself and help show them around." Finished, he sat down, and the students resumed their conversation while sneaking the occasional glance over at James.

While everyone at the table was staring curiously at James, Seamus Finnegan was the first to break the silence.

"Did you all know that Dumbledore decided to host the Yule Ball again," he said excitedly, and all the Gryffindors turned eagerly to him.

"How do you know?" asked Ron who was grabbing a drumstick off a food-filled plate that had just materialized. "I mean, Hermione's Head Girl, and she didn't mention that."

"My grandmother told me," Seamus continued. "I guess Dumbledore wanted to use her connections to get the Weird Sisters again."

"Damn," Dean Thomas cut in. "Now we're going to have to worry about the whole date situation again."

"I wouldn't worry about it," Seamus replied. "I mean we've got at least a few weeks."

"Yeah, but who wants to wait till the last minute," shuddered Ron, and Harry could tell that he was thinking back to the disastrous events of fourth year.

"Yeah, then you might be stuck going with Millicent Bullstrode," Dean said, and all the Gryffindor seventh year boys shivered. Suddenly, the idea of the Yule Ball didn't seem so exciting anymore.

00000

Unfortunately for all the seventh years who had chosen to continue on in their NEWT Potions, it was the first class of the new year, and it was a double period. So with sinking hearts, Harry, Lily, James, Hermione, and Ron made their way down to the dungeon where they would be subject to Professor's Snape's antagonism for the next two hours. Lily could especially see that James was dreading the class. He was shuffling along and even Ron who was usually upbeat looked rather glum. Lily was just hungry, as she had just missed breakfast, and she wasn't looking forward to two hours of wishing her friends had just woken her up in time for breakfast.

The trip down to the dungeon took several minutes, and Lily began to shiver in the ever-increasing cold. James offered her his coat, but she refused, seeing that he wore only a tee-shirt underneath. She was glad to see that in the classroom, Snape had hung a few braziers around the room with flames to illuminate their work. As well as providing a bit of light, they also warmed the students who were lucky enough to sit near them. As they entered, Snape shot them a particularly nasty look, and Lily wondered how bad this class was actually going to get.

"Potter, Evans, since the headmaster has insisted that you take this class, I have no choice but to instruct the two of you," Snape started. "Let's hope that your skills in Potions extend beyond those of your pitiful classmates."

Lily noticed that Harry, Ron, and especially Hermione looked angry at this, but she shrugged. Snape wasn't going to get a response out of her, and she assumed that the condescension was mostly aimed at James who also pretended as if Snape had actually greeted them decently.

"Professor," James said. "Lily and I have no equipment."

"There's a few spares in my office," Snape replied icily. "But I want this situation rectified immediately. There are no excuses for not being prepared." James looked like he was about to argue, but he decided against it, and Lily and him made their way to the side of the classroom where a door led into Snape's office.

Snape's office was rather large though dank, and cobwebs covered the ceiling. James and Lily found a few abandoned cauldrons in the corner and dug through Snape's supplies till they found some basic ingredients. A few old books lay in the corner, and they took those as well, even though Lily could tell that they were a few editions too old. By the time they got back, the class had already started brewing a potion that allowed the viewer to cure various boils and other ailments. It was rather tricky especially since the newt skin had to be added at the exact the potion reached the color orange, and a lot of the students were having trouble.

It was a good thing that Lily was fairly decent in potions, as James as usual was struggling. He kept stirring the wrong way, and Lily had to keep reminding him of the right way. The only one in the class whose potion even resembled what it was supposed to look like was Hermione and Neville's whose potion was a nice bubbling yellow which made Lily lose even more respect for Snape and his ideas of Slytherin superiority that were so clearly wrong.

By the time Snape came around to check potions at the end of the first period, Lily and James's potion was a few shades away from the proper color but still better than most. He, however, didn't seem to notice its benefits and pointed his wand at it and muttered a few words so that it disappeared.

"Disgusting," Snape said. "It would have been below my dignity to even try to grade it." That was enough for Lily, but before she had a chance to say anything, James started yelling at the older professor.

"Snape, what the hell was that?" James said loudly. "Don't think that because you're a professor, you can take your teenage anger out on me." Lily cringed, as all the students turned to look at them including the Slytherins, many of whom had mocking looks on their face.

"Potter, detention," Snape hissed. "And since you obviously can't function at a proper level in Potions, I'm assigning you a different partner. Nott," he motioned to a rat-faced boy in the second row. "I'm dreadfully sorry, but please try to get this incompetent boy up to speed." Nott frowned but made his way to the back of the room where James and Lily were sitting.

"Professor," James started with undue emphasis. "Pardon me, but I don't think there's room for three chairs at this table."

"Which is why Lily will be moving up to the front to partner with Mr. Malfoy," Snape said, as he moved to the next couple. Lily saw James's eyes light up with fury.

"That's ridiculous," James started. "Their potion is a muddy brown. You can punish me but don't do anything to Lily."

"It's all right," Lily said laying a hand on James's arm. "He's not punishing me. It's just a partner switch. Please, you don't have to fight this."

"She's right," Snape responded. "You have more things to worry about like your high chance of failing this class." Lily sadly made her way up to the front of the room. Truth be told, she wasn't happy about the switch, especially since she would be partners with a Slytherin, but she didn't want James to get in anymore trouble. She slid in beside a blonde-haired seventh year and dropped her bag on the floor. She didn't even look at the boy but waited for what Snape would be saying next. She wasn't going to let the older man show that he had gotten to her.

"Now we'll be starting our second potion," Snape drawled. "It's a draught that will give the drinker a powerful hallucination of complete darkness. Directions are on the board, and I hope these attempts will be less pitiful than the last."

"That's terrible," Lily thought aloud to herself at the thought of a potion that would leave you believing that you were completely alone and separated from everyone. She hadn't realized she had spoken aloud till the boy next to her responded.

"It's very effective," he said, and she turned to see the blonde-haired boy looking at her curiously. "Draco Malfoy," he said sticking out his hand, and she shook it, wondering when the last time was that anyone had offered her a hand to shake. "You must be Lily."

"Yeah," she responded, and she wondered why he was being so polite. "Does Snape always act like that?"

"You mean Professor Snape?" the boy said raising his eyebrows.

"Oh, yeah, Professor Snape. Sorry about that. I'm not used to being around people who like him," Lily admitted.

"I was kidding. I don't give a damn what you call him," the boy smirked. "But yes, Snape does seem to not appreciate the efforts of a certain House. But what of it? People stick with their own kind."

"You're talking to me," Lily pointed out. "And I'm not in Slytherin."

"That I am," Malfoy noted. "You seem different from the rest."

"Less heroic?" Lily asked.

"I was going to say less egoistical, but that works too," Malfoy responded, and he turned back to the potion. "And I hope smart. I haven't been paying attention to a word Snape's been saying."

Lily rolled her eyes, but she pulled over a board and started chopping up some roots that were needed. She wasn't sure what to make of Malfoy yet, but she knew that she didn't dislike him and that he was slightly refreshing after all the seriousness of the three Gryffindors. And contrary to what he had said, he did actually know what he was doing, so their potion turned out exactly the way it was supposed to and even rivaled Hermione's shimmering green solution. Unfortunately for Nott, James spent half the period shooting dirty looks at Malfoy so their potion turned an ugly brown, and they received a D for their work.

Lily could see that the only one angrier than James was Nott who had forced to work with a partner he considered mediocre.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Malfoy asked when he noticed her looking at James, as they cleaned up. "He's looking a little greenish."

"No," Lily answered, as she vanished the potion from the cauldron . "We're friends stuck in the odd situation of knowing we marry in a few years."

"That's awkward," Malfoy responded.

"Just a little," Lily replied, and then she smiled. "But then again, he's being nice about it."

"But at the same time, you have your future planned out," Malfoy noted.

"Exactly," Lily said with a tinge of regret in her voice. "And there's nothing I can do to change it."

"Which means you only have a few years left for fun. You should enjoy them," Malfoy returned, and he put his bag on his shoulder. "See you around, Evans," and he left her to puzzle over what he had meant when he had said that. A few more years of fun? She had never thought about it that way. Was marriage really going to take away her freedom? However, she didn't have much time to think over his words, because James called her over as soon as Malfoy had left.

"Lily," he said to her as soon as she walked over. "Did he do anything to hurt you or threaten you? I swear, I'll be his partner if it means you'll be safe."

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked, as she was thoroughly confused. "If you're referring to Malfoy, he was a great partner. I think we might have even gotten an O on that assignment."

"Lily, that kid hexed me yesterday when I was walking outside of the castle," James started. "I guess he thought I was Harry, but he's truly vicious."

"I can't believe he'd do that," Lily responded. "He seemed so nice today."

"Just listen, Lily," James continued. "I want you to be really careful around him. I'm serious, and if anything seems the least bit suspicious, get away from him as fast as you can."

"I don't think that'll be a problem, but I will be careful," Lily returned, and James sighed in relief.

"Thanks," he said. "Look, Harry's going to show me some Quidditch moves before lunch, so will you be okay here alone?"

"I'll be fine," Lily answered. "Don't worry about me. I should get started on the homework anyways, so go have fun."

"I will," James smiled at her. "And I'd really appreciate if you could help me with some of that Potions homework; you know, tell me some answers and stuff like that." Lily laughed.

"Fine," she said. "Now get out of here." He did, and she smiled as she watched him go. She didn't feel the least bit guilty about letting him copy her answers. She knew he was trying to get into his element here, and she didn't want to hold him back. But on the other hand, she knew she had to find her own place in this time. She didn't know how long she'd be here for, and she wasn't sure she belonged with all the Gryffindors who seemed so intent on heroics. She needed her own niche, but where it was, she had no idea.

00000

Unbeknownst to James and Lily, Ron Weasley had stayed behind in Potions class as well but for a completely different purpose. Pretending to be looking through some old parchment pieces, he finally worked up the nerve to turn to Hermione as she copied down the homework.

"Hey Hermione," he said a little too enthusiastically, and she turned to look at him.

"Ron?" she asked. "Are you all right? You're looking a bit red."

"Uh, yeah, I'm doing fine," Ron said, while blushing even more. "I was just wondering if you wanted to take a walk before lunch and maybe get some fresh air."

"That would be refreshing," Hermione admitted. "Should we ask Harry to come along?"

"No," Ron said quickly before he noticed the look on Hermione's face. "I mean, he sort of promised James he'd show him some Quidditch moves, and I think it'd be better if they got some time to talk." He looked up at Hermione and hoped she wasn't suspicious.

"You're probably right," Hermione answered, and Ron visibly relaxed. "I'm just glad they're talking."

"Me too," agreed Ron. "I mean, Harry's wanted to meet his parents forever, and now he's got the chance."

"It makes me wonder what my parent's would have been like as teenagers," Hermione mused. "And if we would have been friends."

"I can only see my mom knitting sweaters and making cakes," Ron admitted. "I don't think she was ever young."

"Ron, that's probably what your kids will say when you have gray hair and spectacles," Hermione laughed. "Now, why are we still standing around in a cold dungeon? Let's go on this walk." Ron nodded, and they made their way out of the dungeon and into the front entrance way. They walked in silence down the front path until Hermione finally turned to Ron.

"Ron, is there a reason you wanted to walk with me?" she asked. "You seem much more anxious than usual."

"Well," Ron started, beginning to feel nervous once again. "I guess you know the Yule Ball is coming up."

"Ron, that's three months away," Hermione noted.

"Yeah, but last time, you told me I shouldn't have waited so long, which is why I wanted to do it right this time. Hermione, will you go with me to the Yule ball?" Ron asked in a rush.

"I'd be all right with that," Hermione said, and Ron could she was looking a bit pink. "But you'll have to learn to dance."

"Yeah, of course," Ron said, looking pleased at her response. "Of course. I'll be on that." Hermione smiled, and Ron felt his heart skip a beat.

"Now, do you want some help with the Potions homework?" she asked.

"Uh, we had homework?" Ron asked, and Hermione laughed. Ron was relieved. Now the awkwardness was over, they could go back to being friends, at least for now.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I really appreciated all the reviews from Chapter 6. This chapter was hard for me to write, because there were so many characters to keep track of and so many intersecting plots so hopefully I didn't mess things up too much. Once again, I can't wait to hear what everyone thinks (especially about the end), though I feel bad since this a chapter mainly about bad decisions and their consequences. Just keep in mind that there will be a happy ending and that the characters will ultimately have to deal with their shortcomings in order to come out on top, so there's definitely some hope down the road. Hope you like it.**

Chapter 7

James Potter had never gone to dinner alone before. Used to his friends flanking him on either side, he felt the situation odd and disconcerting. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to sit silently alone, eat quickly, and leave, or if he was supposed to sit with people he didn't know and try to make friends. What sounded more appealing was grabbing one of the slices of bread on the Slytherin table and taking it down to the Great Lake, but Snape was sending him evil glares from the staff table, and Snape as it turned out was the main reason James was alone.

The class before, Snape had arbitrarily decided to assign them two feet of parchment due the following day, and even Harry and Ron were in the library frantically writing as fast as they could. The only reason James was not with them was that he knew the best he could hope for on a Potions assignment was an A and plus he was hungry, so he had left the rest of them and headed on to dinner. He was beginning to wonder if that had been a mistake. He had seen the disapproving look in Lily's eyes, and he knew that she would say to do the best he could just so Snape would feel like he had to give him a good grade. But unfortunately, James's pride wouldn't let him do that. What Snape was getting tomorrow would be a half a page scrawl about how much he hated the class. Snape would happily give him a T, and James would leave with his dignity intact.

What James realized and what Lily didn't was that it didn't matter how they did this year. When they went back, their memories would be wiped, and they would have to resume seventh year right back where they started. So what was the point of trying to do well with a teacher who hated him? But James kept this knowledge to himself, because he didn't think Lily would appreciate the logic, and plus, she looked perfectly happy up in the front row asking Malfoy if he thought her roots were cut to the proper length.

But that was in and of itself a topic he didn't want to think of. Draco Malfoy had become a thorn in his side. After a week of classes, James knew that he hated the boy. He hated the way that he would accidentally brush against Lily's knee as he slipped onto the bench, and he hated the way he made Lily laugh at his comments, and he hated that he watched Malfoy every class, waiting for him to do something that would make Lily realize what a pig he really was. He knew he couldn't say anything to her, because that would just drive her closer to him, but he had talked to Harry and knew what the boy was really like. He just hoped Lily would find out soon.

James sighed, as he finally decided to just make his way over the Gryffindor table and eat in silence. He wasn't exactly in the mood to make more friends, and he decided that perhaps a quick sandwich would quench his hunger enough so that he would have the energy to borrow Harry's broom and do a few turns around the Quidditch pitch. Flying was still the one thing that was guaranteed to make him feel better.

"Hey, Potter," came a voice to his left, just as he was about to sit down, and he turned to see a bunch of giggling Ravenclaw girls sitting at the table across from him. "Do you want to sit with us?" asked an especially bold girl with long, brunette hair and blue eyes. "We see your friends are gone."

James was tempted to just ignore them, but he hadn't been best friends with Sirius for six years to pass up a chance to talk to a beautiful girl, and since Lily seemed preoccupied with a certain Slytherin, he wasn't just going to sit by himself and let life pass him by.

"Hey," he said, walking over. "I would, but I don't see an empty space." It was true. The Ravenclaw table was especially packed tonight.

"If I can sit on your lap, you can have this one," said the brunette, and while a part of James was tempted, he knew that his better side was telling him it wasn't worth it. But then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Malfoy sitting at the Slytherin table laughing with some of his friends while a few adoring girls stared at him from under their eyelashes. Malfoy was clearly enjoying himself, and James suddenly got the urge to prove that he too could have fun.

"Sounds like a fair trade," he said, and the girl smiled revealing perfect teeth.

"I'm Amelia," she said, as she got up and allowed him to sit on the bench. As soon as he managed to sit down, she sat on top of him. "Try the mashed potatoes. They're delicious," she whispered in his ear, and for the next twenty minutes, James found himself being fed all sorts of food by all the girls at the table. He was soon quite stuffed, but the girls didn't seem intent on stopping.

"Amelia, girls, this has been wonderful," he said finally. "But I did want to put in some Quidditch practice before it got too dark outside."

"But it's already night," one of the other girls said, Rose, James thought her name was, as she pointed up at the ceiling of the Great Hall where the stars were already beginning to show. "And a few of us were planning a party in the Ravenclaw common room."

James was about to decline, but he looked over and saw Malfoy again who was still surrounded by Slytherin girls. "I guess I could come by for a few minutes," he said, and the girls smiled.

"You sure you can handle it?" Rose asked. "I mean, Harry isn't much of a partier."

"I wasn't exactly around to show him what a good time was," James noted, remembering that Harry was raised as an orphan.

"I guess not," Rose agreed. "Maybe you can give him some tips," she said. "I've never kissed a father and son before."

James quirked an eyebrow, and Rose laughed.

"Having second thoughts?" she asked.

"No, I think I'm intrigued," he returned. "Shall we go on up?"

"If you say so," Rose said.

He wasn't given much of a chance to reply, as Amelia began to tie a napkin around his eyes. "Wouldn't want you finding our common room and coming up uninvited," she said, though James knew she probably wouldn't mind. Still, he let himself be led up several flights of stairs and heard them answer a confusing question, that he was surprised they had the brains to understand. A few seconds later, he found himself finally able to see in a brightly lit common room. Several Ravenclaw boys had somehow pulled a radio out from somewhere and Wizarding rock songs were playing, as some girls and boys danced in a corner. There was a wide-selection of drinks available in another corner, and James could see Ogden's firewhiskey sitting invitingly open. Couples were sitting on the couches and snogging, and James wondered what they had managed to do with all the younger students.

"Aren't you all supposed to be studying?" he yelled to Rose over the sound of the radio. "Ravenclaws aren't known for letting loose."

"Everyone needs a break once in a while," she responded while pulling him over to the group of dancing couples. "Even you." James allowed himself to start dancing along with the beat, and he felt himself begin to enjoy the party. He caught a glance of Amelia standing jealously by the drinks before a handsome Ravenclaw boy asked her to dance, and she obliged. James knew exactly what Rose was talking about. He definitely needed a break, and so he let himself succumb to the power of the music and just let go.

00000

Sitting in the library working on his essay, Harry Potter put down his quill to give himself a break. The essay was almost finished, and his hand was beginning to hurt. Plus, he was a little astonished that he was in the library in the first place, as he usually only went in there if he was trying to sneak something out of the Restricted Section. It was easy to understand why he avoided the place. The corner they were in was a bit musty, and even though it shielded them from Madam Pince, Harry couldn't help but sneeze every few minutes. Still, the essay needed to be finished, and since the Gryffindor common room was currently being used by some Exploding Snap players, they had no choice but to go to the library.

But now that Harry was almost done, he couldn't stop his mind from wandering. Ron had told him a week ago about his success in asking Hermione to the Yule Ball, and Harry was beginning to wonder if this year would be as much of a failure as the fourth year ball. For starters, the girl he wanted to ask was his best friend's sister, and at the moment, Ginny Weasley seemed even more unattainable than Cho Chang.

What made Harry especially angry with himself was that he hadn't seen it all along. For years, Ginny had liked him until in her fifth year when boys began to see how beautiful she was. With various Ravenclaw and Gryffindors surrounding her, it was easy to forget a boy who had seen her as a little sister for her whole life. Unfortunately for Harry, it took him a whole other year for him to realize that the feelings he held for her were beginning to change from little sister to romantic interest, and by then, it was too late.

Now, Ginny was a sixth-year who was as smart as she was beautiful. She still said hi to Harry in the hallways, and she still rolled her eyes when Ron teased her, but she had her own group of friends now and no longer needed to tag along. Harry just wished he could have seen that side of Ginny from the beginning.

"You done yet?" Ron asked from across the table where he was spinning his quill on the table. "I think my hand's going to fall off. I mean, what does it matter if we know what the effect is of adding newt eggs to a healing potion?" Hermione looked up from where she had already written double of what they were supposed to have finished.

"Ron, if you're ever lying on the ground with a serious ailment, I'm walking away," she said irritably, as she finished up yet another paragraph.

"If I'm ever lying on the ground with a serious ailment, Harry will apparate us to St. Mungo's," Ron replied. "This is stupid."

"It does seem a little overdone," Lily responded, and Hermione turned to her as if betrayed. Harry knew that Hermione had expected Lily to be on her side, but in reality, he could tell that Lily was getting sick of the mind-numbing assignments Snape was giving them. "I mean, what's the chance of a centaur mauling us anyways?"

"It could happen," Hermione responded. "Why Dumbledore himself . . ."

"Hermione, please," Ron said. "My brain's already hurting enough as it is." Harry smiled as he saw Hermione's disgruntled look, as it didn't fool him. He knew she truly didn't mind Ron's words, and she'd probably end up writing his conclusion anyway. It was great to see his two friends falling for each other like this even if they didn't completely realize it yet, but Harry couldn't help but wish he could have that kind of relationship with someone as well.

He turned back to his parchment as his friends began to argue. Pretty soon, Madam Pince would be over to tell them to be quiet, and Ron would scribble another sentence. Hopefully, they'd be out of there before midnight. He definitely needed the sleep.

00000

It was a miracle how it happened, but somehow everyone's essays were finally finished, and the next morning, Lily, Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked to the Great Hall to grab some breakfast. Lily was a bit nervous, since James hadn't shown up all last night, but she figured that he could take care of himself. Still, it was strange that he hadn't even gone to his dormitories to sleep especially since she knew he didn't have any other friends in the school. Sitting at the table, she idly picked at her eggs and told the others she wasn't hungry when they asked why she wasn't eating. However, it didn't take long to find out where James was. Ten minutes into the meal, James walked into the Hall surrounded by a bunch of Ravenclaw girls. He looked over at the Gryffindors and said something to the girls. They nodded, and James made his way over to see his four friends.

"Hey," he said. "Late night." He yawned and sat down at the table. Pulling over the platter of pancakes, he speared some on a fork and put them on his plate.

"James, where were you last night?" Lily finally asked. "We thought you might come by the library."

"Change of plans," James responded. "I met some friends at dinner."

"Some skanky friends," Ron said looking at James. "Rose Greenwood isn't getting an E in Arithmancy because she's smart.

"Ron," Hermione exclaimed, as she gave him a look. "That's seriously unfounded."

"It's true," he said, as he served himself an extra serving of scrambled eggs. "She's known for being really easy."

"Yeah, I got that impression," James replied. "That girl doesn't know how to stop." A few seconds of silence followed in which Harry stared awkwardly down at his plate, and Hermione looked at James with a disgusted expression on her face. Finally, Lily grabbed her bag from next to her and put it around her shoulder. She wouldn't even look at James as she stood up from the bench. Ron thought he saw a tear or two reflected in her eye but that could have been from the lights.

"I have to go," she said. "I think I might have mixed up a few of the facts on my essay," she finished before turning around so she could exit the room. James looked after her for a few seconds until he turned back to the group.

"She finished her essay hours before we did," Ron said. "You must have pissed her off, mate."

"You didn't really sleep with her?" Harry asked.

"Nah," James said. "Just a few dances. I actually spent most of the time talking to one of her friends. She wanted to know about life in the eighties."

"You could have mentioned that to Lily," Hermione noted. "Seriously, you boys can be so thick sometimes."

"So, are you going to apologize?" Ron asked.

"For what?" James asked. "I didn't do anything wrong."

"When girls storm off, that usually means something you did is a bit off," Ron noted. "At least, that's how it is with Hermione."

"Ron," Hermione said again. "Seriously. Now if you boys don't mind, I'm going to join Lily. At least she has her priorities straight."

"She's off doing homework," Ron said.

"Exactly," Hermione answered. "Which is a lot more intelligent than what you're doing right now." She waved goodbye and then got up to go, leaving the three boys sitting alone at the table.

"You're not trying to make Lily jealous, are you?" Harry asked.

"Why would I do that?" James asked innocently. "Besides, what kind of competition would I have?"

"Some Slytherin competition," Ron noted, nodding over at Malfoy. "We've all noticed."

"You really think I feel threatened by him," James scoffed. "Seriously. You two underestimate me."

"He's got one thing in his favor," Ron said. "Lily tends to stay at the Potions table when he sits down."

00000

Even with her essay done, Lily was dreading the arrival of Potions from the Gryffindor common room. Merlin knew that was an expected reaction especially coming from a Gryffindor, but unlike most of her fellow housemates, Lily wasn't just anxious about having class with Snape. In fact, Snape had been treating her almost decently since she had become partners with Malfoy, and she even thought she might have managed an O on the last assignment. She was more worried about seeing James after that whole breakfast fiasco, a fiasco that he probably didn't even she had a problem with. She kept telling herself that it didn't matter what James chose to do with his time here. She wasn't his mother, and it wasn't like she could tell him what to do. But somehow, it still hurt when she saw him with that other girl, and she knew it was selfish for her to feel that way. Because it wasn't like she liked him. No, that was impossible. They were friends, and Lily knew that friends looked after each other. But if they were just friends, then why did she still have that ache in her heart?

Still feeling nervous, Lily made her way down to the Potions classroom alone. She knew she was early, but this way, she wouldn't have to walk past James. Instead, she would already be at her seat in the front when he arrived, and she could pretend like she didn't see him. That way, things would be easier. What she wasn't expecting was that another person would have gotten there early as well.

"Evans," came a familiar voice from her bench in the front of the room. "Salazar Slytherin would roll over in his grave if he knew a Gryffindor had come to Potions early." Lily smiled when she saw Malfoy's face smirking back at her from the front.

"It wasn't my first choice," she admitted. "But at least I knew that it would guarantee other Gryffindors would stay away."

"A certain black-haired Gryffindor?" Malfoy guessed. "Displays certain tendencies such as being a general pain in the . . ."

"Malfoy, stop," Lily said, though she knew he was trying to make her laugh. "He's my friend."

"Yes, but you're not denying anything I said," Malfoy continued.

"Maybe," Lily said. "But I didn't come down here to talk about him."

"Me neither or else I wouldn't have left that perfectly good breakfast," Malfoy noted.

"So why are you down here early?" Lily asked curiously.

"I thought you might come down," Malfoy responded. "I happened to see you at breakfast. You looked upset."

"You were watching me?" Lily questioned, a little surprised at his concern.

"Actually, I saw Potter's ridiculous display with those Ravenclaw whores," Malfoy said. "It was enough to make me feel sick, so I figured you might join me down here as well."

"Yeah," Lily agreed. "Strange though. I wouldn't have seen the dungeons as a place of comfort."

"Try having your common room down here," Malfoy responded. "It's enough to make a person homesick, but you didn't come down to hear about me."

"No, I don't mind," Lily said. "You can tell me more."

"I would, but the dungeon isn't giving off much of an ambiance. Why don't you come with me to Hogsmede on Saturday? I can tell you about my home, and it'll give you a break and a chance to pick up some things you might need."

"Are you serious?" Lily asked. "That would be wonderful." She looked into his grey eyes, but she couldn't read what was behind them. They were so unlike James's open brown ones which was exactly what she needed.

"It's my pleasure," Malfoy responded. "And don't worry about money. I'll take care of everything."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked. "I don't want to impose."

"What if I call it a date?" Malfoy suggested. "Then, you'd have to let me pay."

"I guess you could do that," Lily said slowly, as she struggled to think of the implications of what that would mean.

"Then meet me at the clock at eleven," he replied smoothly. "You won't have to think about anything."

Lily didn't get a chance to respond, because at that moment the other students started pouring into the classroom talking loudly and laughing at each other's jokes. A few of the Slytherins gave confused looks at Malfoy, as if they were bewildered as to why he would have been alone in the room with Lily, but he seemed not to notice. Inside, Lily's heart was racing. Had Malfoy just asked her out on a date? The last date she'd been on was with Oscar Priott in fourth year who had yelled at her when she'd refused to kiss him. She definitely didn't want a repeat experience of that, but to be honest, she had no idea how to act. Suddenly, she felt an overwhelming need to see Sylvia who would have been ecstatic at the idea that she was going out on a date. Too bad her best friend was twenty years in the past. It looked like she would have to deal with this one on her own.

Lily could have spent several more hours in thought, but unfortunately, real life caught up with her. Snape sauntered in a few minutes later, muttering about fourth years and their pathetic grasp of a certain exploding spell. Already in a bad mood, he assigned them a particularly difficult potion to complete. Lily didn't have much of a chance to talk to Malfoy, as they were both trying to finish the potion before the end of class. As it was, they finished just in the nick of time, which was before most of the members of the class who were still struggling to add their frog legs or to stir the potion the proper amount of times by the time class ended. On the bright side, Snape was pleased at their efforts and only assigned them a short reading assignment for homework.

Walking out, Lily could hear James talking cheerfully up in the front with Ron and Harry. She noticed that Hermione had delayed cleaning up so she could walk with her.

"Are you doing all right?" Hermione asked, as she began to walk next to her. "I know boys can be somewhat callous."

"I'm fine," Lily replied. "And besides, James is free to do whatever he likes."

"He didn't sleep with her," Hermione said softly. "I think he'd want you to know that."

"I don't know why he'd think it mattered to me," Lily responded flippantly, though internally, she breathed a sigh of relief.

"I don't know," Hermione said, but Lily could see that she had a knowing smile on her face. "But remember there's something to be said for second chances."

"Yeah, I know," Lily responded. "But there's also nothing wrong with moving on."

"As long as you don't forget to look back," Hermione said. "James wouldn't have said those things if he didn't know you were listening."

"I really don't think he even noticed I was there," Lily said more to herself than to Hermione. She paused. Suddenly, she really didn't want to finish the conversation. "Can you tell the boys I'll see them in Transfiguration? I think I might sleep through lunch." Hermione nodded and let Lily walk away down the hallway, bag swinging against her hip, as she disappeared around a corner. All Lily needed at the moment was a long hot shower and a nap. Sometimes with so much to think about, it was easier just to forget.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Here's chapter 8 with the date in Hogsmede. Hope you like it, and I'm interested in hearing all of your impressions of Malfoy after you read.**

Chapter 8

Saturday morning dawned bright and early, as the sun shone in through the windows of Gryffindor tower. The common room was loud with talk of the first trip to Hogsmede, as younger students slipped money to the older ones in hope of gaining large bags and boxes of Honeydukes chocolate. Even the sixth and seventh years, who usually liked to pretend that a trip to Hogsmede was a regular occurrence that wasn't anything to get excited about, had smiles on their faces, as they dug through bulging trunks to find spares knuts and sickles.

Only James looked somewhat disheartened, as he pulled on some of Harry's clothes for the last time. While he was glad that he would finally be able to buy some clothes of his own, he wished Lily could have come with him. But unfortunately last night, she had informed him, Harry, Ron, and Hermione that she had an essay to write and would thus be unable to go. James found the excuse a bit odd, as Lily never put off homework to the last minute, and he couldn't remember an essay he was supposed to have done, but he figured that he would just ask her what it was about on Sunday night when he would probably rush to start it as well.

As James had felt bad about leaving Lily behind, he had asked her the night before if she wanted him to buy her anything, but she had shaken her head no and said she would be all right. Up to this point, she had been borrowing clothes from Hermione, and he knew that even she was getting sick of Hermione's over-the-top conservatism, but apparently this essay was much more important than clothes. He was just lucky he had Harry. In addition to sharing his clothes, Harry had also given a handful of galleons to him, saying that all his money had originally belonged to James anyways, so he might as well use some of it. James was grateful and reassured Harry that he wouldn't make the group stay very long in the clothing and supply stores. Anyways, James was much more excited about seeing the new pranks and jokes in this time. The selection would be far more varied compared to the Zonko's of twenty years in the past, and it was almost exciting enough to make him forget that Lily wouldn't be there. There was a bright side to this though, he realized. If Lily was doing her essay the whole morning, it would mean there would be no chance for Malfoy to talk to her which was definitely a good thing.

Much happier now, James pulled on some old sneakers and rushed down to the common room to join Harry, Ron, and Hermione who were sitting on one of the couches next to the fireplace.

"Hey," he said. "You guys ready?" Hermione smiled at his enthusiasm, as she gathered her belongings together.

"I still don't know why you got us down here at nine in the morning," Ron grumbled. "It's Saturday. Don't I get a little sleep?" James arched an eyebrow.

"You're brother owns a joke shop, and you want to get more sleep," he said in astonishment. "Let's go."

"Guess we found his weakness," Ron whispered to Harry, and Harry nodded. Still, they followed James down to the front door where Filch was checking to see if the students were authorized to visit Hogsmede. Luckily, Dumbledore had put James on the list, so they were able to pass through, though Filch scowled at James whom he remembered from years back. Seeing this, James tried to steer clear of the older man. There had been an unfortunate encounter involving some mobile suits of armor and flying pumpkin juice in fifth year for which Filch had never forgiven him, even after twenty years. But luckily the four were able to get through the check point and to make the short walk to Hogsmede. Eager to see everything, James pulled them into Honeydukes to check out the wide selection of candy. Harry had to remind him that they still had the rest of the town to see before he emptied his pockets on cockroach clusters and every-flavor beans, and they were finally able to go on to the next store.

Three stores later, James's attention hadn't yet begun to flag, and his pockets were considerably lighter. It was much easier for him now to forget the girl that had been left back at Hogwarts and the essay that had kept her there.

00000

Lily felt bad about lying to Harry, Ron, Hermione, and James, but she just didn't see any other options. She knew they all disapproved of Malfoy and that they would have been upset to learn that she was spending the whole day with him, so she had made the excuse about an essay, an essay that she had finished Friday afternoon before Transfiguration. It wasn't the most honest thing she had ever done, but she felt it was necessary, so she tried to quell the thoughts that kept nipping at her conscience.

But now that it was ten o'clock, and she knew that she was supposed to be meeting Malfoy in an hour, she was beginning to worry about other things, namely what she was supposed to wear. When she had travelled into the future, she had come in her school uniform and had been forced to borrow more clothes from Hermione. While Hermione's clothes were fine for practical school days, they weren't exactly what you'd wear on a date, and she knew she didn't want to go downstairs wearing the knee-length khaki skirt and baggy sweater that Hermione had handed her that morning. She was about to go see if there was a clothes-altering spell in one of her books when a voice startled her.

"Lily, what are you doing here all alone?" Lily heard to the left, and she turned to see that Lavender Brown had walked into the girls' dormitory. She was clutching a bag of books, and her long brown hair was arranged in a high ponytail. Lily hadn't gotten the chance to talk to the other girl yet, though she seemed nice from their brief encounters in the dormitories.

"Oh, hey, Lavender," Lily replied. "I actually was here to . . ."

"Don't tell me," Lavender interrupted. "I know the look of a girl in the midst of a clothing crisis. Don't worry," she said, and Lily guessed a look of astonishment had unknowingly crossed her face at Lavender's correct guess. "I won't let Hermione know that you think her clothes are seriously straight out of last century. I mean, everyone knows it. I don't think that girl has ever heard of a camisole, and then on top of it, you have to borrow her clothes. You should have come to me earlier."

"I should have?" Lily asked, confused. She was still trying to absorb the fact that a girl could say so much in one breath.

"Of course," Lavender continued. "I mean, I can barely keep all my clothes in my trunk, which you probably know by now, so of course, I'd be able to share some with you. So, what's the occasion?"

"Well, I didn't want everyone to find . . ." Lily tried to speak again, but was soon stopped.

"Oh, I get it," Lavender continued. "You're going on a date, aren't you?"

Lily nodded. She wasn't even going to try to speak this time.

"You don't have to be so ashamed," Lavender said. "Everyone heard how you and Draco Malfoy were in Potions before it even began, which is totally unheard of for a Gryffindor, and he is totally attractive; though don't tell anyone I said that."

"I won't," Lily answered. "Just please, don't let James, Harry, Ron, and Hermione find out."

"My lips are sealed," Lavender replied. "Just as long as you let me find you something else to wear."

"Deal," Lily said, and she watched gratefully, as Lavender began to dig around in her trunk. She didn't seem to find anything until half the contents were on the floor, and Lily was beginning to wonder if the clothes would ever find their way back into the trunk or if they would lie on the ground forever.

"Perfect," Lavender said, holding up a lavender shirt and a jean skirt that was much shorter than the one Lily was currently wearing. "Unless you want something shorter?"

"No, this is fine," Lily said, reaching over and taking the clothes before Lavender got the idea in her mind to do her makeup. "I'm really grateful."

"No problem," Lavender said. "And Parvarti and I have been taking bets on whether Malfoy is a good kisser, so . . ."

"Um, I'll keep that in mind," Lily responded, though she was starting to feel uncomfortable. "I'll see you around. Thanks again."

"See you," Lavender replied, and she dropped off her bag in the room before she left, leaving a huge pile of messy clothes beside her bed. Lily sighed, as she began to change into Lavender's clothes. While she was grateful to the other girl, she was definitely unused to her rapid speech and loud ways. She almost laughed when she thought of Ron and her together. Hermione had grumpily mentioned something about it a few days ago, and now that Lily had gotten a chance to talk to the other girl, she found the former relationship hilarious.

Straightening up, she looked at herself in the full-length mirror leaning against the wall next to Lavender's bed, and for the first time in her life, she actually liked what she saw. The light purple of the shirt contrasted nicely against her hair, and she finally realized why girls found fashion so irresistible. It added a sense of self confidence that couldn't be found in books or learning, and she regretted not realizing this before.

Finally ready, she pulled a brush down her hair, and made her way to the winding staircase leading down to the common room. She took a look around, but the only people she saw were a few first years who were dejectedly playing Wizarding Chess, and she doubted they would tell her friends that she was not currently the library writing her essay.

Feeling safe, she left the room and made her way down to the entrance where Malfoy was waiting by one of the doors.

"Lily, you look wonderful," he said, as he walked over to greet her. She smiled and looked back at him gratefully.

"You should tell Lavender," she responded. "She's the one who gave me the clothes."

"I would, but I'm not sure I'd be able to get a word in edgewise," he responded. "You talked to Lavender, and you're here on time?"

"It was more of a one-sided conversation," Lily admitted.

"I see," Malfoy said. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," Lily said, and Malfoy opened the door for her. It was a very gentlemanly thing to do, Lily realized, and she couldn't remember the last time someone had been so polite. The trip over to Hogsmede was quick, but Lily laughed often at Malfoy's descriptions of Crabbe and Goyle's antics. Malfoy even shared his cloak with her when she began to shiver in the autumn weather. They were having so much fun that it seemed like only a few minutes until the dirt path switched into cobblestone, and they arrived at the entrance of Hogsmede.

"Anywhere in particular you'd like to go?" Draco asked after they'd gone through the arch marking the entrance into the town.

"Three Broomsticks?" Lily asked, hoping that it was still around. She was looking around to see if Harry, Ron, Hermione, and James were in sight, because she knew a meeting with them would be disastrous.

"All right," he responded, and they made their way through the throngs of students to the crowded pub. Luckily, there was a table available for two, and they were able to squeeze into their chairs.

"What would you two lovebirds like?" asked the bartender, a rather buxom woman who Lily recognized as Madame Rosmerta from Ron's talk of Hogsmede. Lily was about to say they weren't lovebirds, but Malfoy placed his hand on top of her hand which had been lying on top of the table, and she decided to keep her mouth shut.

"Two butterbeers," Malfoy responded, and Madame Rosmerta smiled at the two of them and turned around to get their drinks.

"I can't believe she called us lovebirds," Lily said. "Seriously, can't two friends go get drinks together?"

"What was she supposed to think?" Malfoy asked. "What sort of guy would let such a beautiful girl stay his friend?" Lily blushed at this and wondered if she had heard him right. Had he just called her beautiful?

"Malfoy . . ." she started.

"Draco," he interrupted. "You can call me Draco."

"Draco . . ." she tried again, but this time, she was interrupted by the arrival of their drinks which Madame Rosmerta had placed noisily on their table. By the time she was gone, the moment had passed.

"So tell me about your childhood," she finally said, not ready to bring up their former conversation.

"Do you want to hear about the moat with the pair of alligators or the dungeons I used to play hide and go seek in?" Malfoy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"The dungeons," Lily said smiling.

"They're pretty standard as dungeons go," he started. "Chains, dank air, lots of bars, and conveniently placed locks for when loud cousins come over."

"Draco," Lily gasped. "You didn't."

"It was only for half a day," he smirked. "And they had tried to steal my Quidditch broom." And so the stories continued. Lily listened to him talk while taking small sips from her bottle of butterbeer. His childhood had been so different from hers that it was difficult not to be enthralled, but she began to notice that while he talked a lot about the manor, he seldom mentioned his father. Curious, she decided to bring it up.

"And what about your father?" she finally asked. "What's he like?"

"You knew him, didn't you?" Malfoy said with little expression in his face.

"Yes, he was a few grades up," Lily admitted. "But you know Slytherin and Gryffindor relations. He wasn't about to come introduce himself to us."

"He wouldn't have anyways," Malfoy responded. "He wouldn't have talked to a mud . . . I mean, muggleborn."

"But you do?" Lily asked.

"Only the pretty ones," Malfoy answered, and Lily felt her heart beat faster. "Now, do you want to go get your stuff or not?"

"Yeah, let's go," Lily said, so they got up, and Malfoy paid for their drinks. They walked out of the Three Broomsticks together and surveyed the stores nearby. They decided to start with the clothing store next door which was teeming with students eager to supplement their wardrobes. Moving mannequins stood in the front window modeling the newest fashions while two harried witches went through the store asking the students if they needed assistance. Lily walked towards the back of the store where there was less of a crowd. An elegant green dress hanging gracefully from the form of a mannequin caught her eye, and she walked over to it, enthralled. It was backless and flowed gracefully down to an elegant train. It was the most beautiful dress she'd ever seen, and she longed to try it on, as she was almost certain that it would fit perfectly. A small price tag hung from the side, but Lily decided that it was almost better not to know how much the dress would cost, as it would certainly be an inordinate amount of money. Regretfully, she turned away to look at the more practical clothes while Malfoy caught up with her.

"I think my mother has that dress," he said, and she realized he must have seen her staring.

"It's wonderful," she replied. "I can't even imagine wearing something so beautiful."

"Then try it on," Malfoy said.

"But I couldn't," Lily answered. "I wouldn't want to mess it up," she said feebly, but Malfoy had already turned to one of the salesladies.

"My friend would like to try this dress on," he said to the closest witches, and she looked in surprise at the two teenagers. Lily guessed that she recognized Malfoy, as she nodded after a few seconds and came over to take it off the mannequin. Lily almost gasped when the woman handed her the dress and nodded toward a dressing room located to the right. Even the fabric felt expensive, and she was careful to not let it trail on the ground, as she went into the dressing room to try it on.

About a minute later, she emerged, a bit self conscious, as she wasn't quite sure what she looked like. Malfoy was staring at her with an expression that she couldn't quite read.

"Ring it up," he said, turning to the saleslady.

"Excuse me," the woman said. "But that dress costs two hundred gal . . ."

"Charge it to the Malfoy account," Malfoy continued, as if she hadn't spoken. "I don't think my father will notice."

"I can't let you buy this," Lily responded. "A few school supplies are one thing, but getting me a dress is ridiculous."

"Then make it worth my effort," he said. "Go to the Yule Ball with me."

"You're really asking me that?" Lily said in disbelief. She didn't know what usual business was in the Hogwarts of today, but she knew that in her time, a Slytherin would never been seen going to a formal occasion with a Gryffindor. "But your friends . . ."

"Would respect my decision," he finished for her. "Now, Lily, will you do me the honor of being my partner?"

"Yes, of course," she said. "I'd love too."

"Then don't worry about the dress," he said. "It's my gift to you." Lily didn't know how to adequately express her thanks, so she settled with repeating her gratitude over and over until Malfoy rolled his eyes and told her to go change. She did, and they left the store, bag in hand. It was only when they were outside that Lily realized she had gotten a dress in Slytherin colors, an action that she wasn't sure her friends would approve of. But then again, it wasn't as if they would approve of her partner, so it didn't really matter.

However, at this point, it was beginning to get late, and Lily still hadn't bought any of her necessary items. She pulled Malfoy into yet another clothing store, albeit one that was much cheaper and more suited to every day wear, where she bought some simple shirts and skirts. Following that, she picked up some potions equipment along with some basic supplies such as quills and ink. By the end of their shopping, Hogsmede was getting dark, and the paths were becoming deserted. Walking out of the Quill shop, Lily gasped when she saw Harry, Ron, Hermione, and James crossing right in front of them and quickly retreated back into the store.

"Your friends?" Malfoy asked. "By your look I'm assuming they don't know you're here with me."

"Yeah, I didn't exactly tell them," Lily said, hoping that Malfoy wouldn't take this to mean that she was embarrassed to be seen with him. "But it's not because I don't want them to know we're friends."

"It's just kind of clear they disapprove of me," Malfoy responded.

"And I don't know why," Lily replied. "You've always been so nice."

"Maybe it's because they're jealous," Malfoy answered.

"Maybe," Lily said wistfully, but she wasn't quite sure that was the case. She didn't have much time to think about it though, because Malfoy turned to the back entrance of the store, and she followed him out. Finally alone and safe from the sight of the Gryffindors, they began to walk back to entrance of Hogsmede.

However, a hissing noise startled the two of them, and Lily turned to see a hooded man in a cloak approaching from their left. Malfoy seemed to recognize him, as he paled when he saw the man coming over. Lily felt an aura of darkness around him, and she shivered involuntarily. She realized with a sudden pang that she wished James was there to protect her, but she quickly quenched this thought. Malfoy was there, and he certainly wouldn't let any harm come to her. However, Malfoy left her side and walked over to the other man, leaving her at the side of the road.

"Rookwood, what are you doing here?" Malfoy told the man angrily, and Lily blanched when she realized that the two of them knew each other and seemed to be allies.

"Malfoy, some reports have to come to your father's attention about you," Rookwood responded, and Lily could see that he looked angry at having to come over here. His skin was so pale that it looked as if he rarely left the indoors at all.

"What kind of reports?" Malfoy asked.

"Pathetic nonsense about how you're talking to mudbloods and not spreading around the Dark Lord's message," Rookwood answered. "I knew you would have an explanation, but your father is suspicious."

"Then why isn't he here to talk to me himself?" Malfoy questioned. "Is he too busy to drag himself away from his work?"

"Don't mock your father like that," Rookwood said. "I can see you're taking your own pleasures at Hogwarts," he continued looking over at Lily. "At least I can tell your father that he was wrong in one respect. Why would you be talking to mudbloods with beauties like her available?"

"I'm sure my father will be happy to hear that," Draco responded dryly. "Now, I have a date to finish, so please, excuse me."

"Watch yourself, Draco," Rookwood returned. "You've gotten way too cocky for your own good."

"Cocky enough that I don't expect my father to send out his lapdogs to keep tabs on me," Malfoy replied. "Don't come visit me again."

"As you wish," Rookwood answered. "Though if your father ever has to come, you'll wish it was me instead."

"Unlikely," Malfoy said, and he turned away.

The walk back was tense, and Lily didn't speak until they were halfway up the path to school.

"So," she started. "You've been sullying your name by associating with mudbloods."

"I didn't want you to hear all of that," Malfoy answered.

"What does that mean?" Lily responded loudly. "You didn't want me to hear that you're supposed to be telling others about Voldemort, a man who killed me? You didn't want me to know that you hate muggle borns, a group of people that I'm a part of?"

"Lily, listen, Rookwood is a crass man with a surprisingly low amount of intelligence . . ." Malfoy started, but he was unable to finish.

"He seemed smart enough to me," remarked Lily. "You're in league with _him_." The emphasis and the disgust she put into that last word showed that she was talking not about Rookwood but about Voldemort.

"On the outside," Malfoy explained. "Listen, you have to trust me. I'm walking a thin line, and I'd think that my actions display my allegiance. Who was I walking around Hogsmede with? A Slytherin pureblood?"

"I know," Lily said. "I just can't get over how awful that man was."

"The Dark Lord doesn't tend to recruit among the kind," Malfoy answered.

"Just please promise me that you won't join him," Lily asked.

Malfoy hesitated a slight second. It was quick enough that Lily didn't notice but there all the same. "I promise," he said.

00000

James had been winding down as the day went on. Arms full of supplies and clothes, he was beginning to feel the onset of exhaustion, and a break was definitely necessary. Following Ron, Hermione, and Harry into the Three Broomsticks, he sat with them and chatted about the newest innovations in racing brooms and the latest news in the Daily Prophet. It was enjoyable, and James was truly beginning to feel a part of their close knit group. They were having so much fun, in fact, that Harry cursed when he looked down at his watch after they'd each had their third butterbeer."

"It's almost six," Harry said. "We need to get back."

"Blimey," Ron replied. "I didn't even notice." Neither had James and Hermione, so they quickly packed up their stuff and left the bar. It was chilly walking back, and Ron offered his cloak to Hermione who was shivering slightly in the cold under her sweater. She took it gratefully, and Ron looked happily back at her. James was too busy trying not to look at Ron's cloyingly happy expression that it wasn't until they reached the entrance into Hogsmede that he remembered he had left one of his bags in the Three Broomsticks.

"Damn," he cursed. "I left the pack of quills under the table," he explained to the other three. "Mind if I run back and get them? I can meet you all back up at the castle."

"Sure you don't want us to wait?" asked Hermione, but James shook his head.

"I'll be fine," he said, patting his pocket that held his wand. "We're in a small wizarding town. What's the worst thing that could happen?" Harry, Hermione, and Ron didn't respond, but James wasn't going to let that faze him. "See you," he said and began to jog in the opposite direction.

He found the bag quickly in the Three Broomsticks. It was right under the table, right where he had remembered leaving it. It wasn't until he had left the bar that he heard the voices. They were coming from behind one of the shops, and one of them sounded suspiciously like Malfoy. Curious, James edged his way around the one of the shops and felt his heart sink as he saw the scene in front of him.

Standing only a few feet away were Malfoy and an older man arguing about something, but what made him really angry was that standing only a bit further away was Lily who was looking alternatively scared and also a bit irate. Trying to quench the desire to run over and ask Lily what the hell she was doing in Hogsmede, James tried to listen to the conversation. Unfortunately, the conversation was almost finished, and James only heard Malfoy tell the man not to come visit him again. A few seconds later, the two were done talking, and James was forced to hide in the shadows, as the older man snuck away through the shops. By the time, James was finally able to look out behind the shops again, Malfoy and Lily had left.

What James couldn't understand was why Lily had lied to him. They had never really talked about the incident when she had found out about the party, but he had assumed that she had forgiven him. But did this mean she hadn't? Did she hate him so much that she felt the need to sneak around with Malfoy and lie about it? It wasn't that James was angry at Lily, though he had been a bit at the beginning; it was more that he was sad that she didn't trust him enough to tell him the truth. However, that didn't mean that he wasn't angry at Malfoy. How could the Slytherin boy take her out to Hogsmede to meet his shady contacts? James wasn't quite sure who the other man was, but he was clearly someone in league with the dark side.

But what James really couldn't get out of his mind were Malfoy's threats when he had first met him. The boy had been positively gleeful when he had tied James's feet together and had left him almost helpless on the ground. Why couldn't Lily see what the boy was really like? No one could switch personalities so easily to go from a complete bastard to such a charmer. It was practically impossible, he kept telling himself. Yet, another part of his brain began to ask, was it really?


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Just to give everyone a heads up, this chapter is mainly a transitional one contains a lot of dialogue. I don't know if people will mind, but know that there will definitely be a lot of action in the near future, but I really need to set the characters up. Sadly, I won't be able to update for the next two weeks, because I'm off to Italy, so don't worry if you don't hear from me for a while. I'm not going to abandon this story, and I'm going to try to stick to my schedule when I return. Once again, thanks for reading. :-)**

Chapter 9

Sunday mornings were usually quiet affairs in Gryffindor, especially after a day at Hogsmede. Of course, the first and second years could be seen collecting their candy, but they knew to be quiet once they had received it. Many of the upperclassmen were currently occupying the couches by the fire and quickly scribbling out essays due the following morning, and they were unforgiving of any of the younger students who thought they could be loud and get away with it.

James was one of the students on the couches, but there was no parchment on his lap. Instead, he was waiting for a certain Gryffindor girl to enter into the common room, so he could speak to her. He wasn't sure exactly what he was going to say, but he trusted his brain not to let him say anything stupid, but if he did, so be it. He needed to know what was going on with Lily, and he knew that she wouldn't tell him unless he asked.

Hermione, Ron, and Harry were currently outside walking around the lake. James had asked them politely if they would let him talk to Lily alone without giving them any specifics as to the subject of the conversation, and they had been happy to let him have his privacy. They had seemed to realize that things were getting terse between the two and that something had to be resolved. James wasn't sure though if not telling them the truth of what he had seen had been the right thing to do.

It was true that Harry probably would have been heartbroken to see his mother on a date with his Slytherin enemy, but would he be happy to be in the dark? James just hoped that the talk today would hopefully end any budding relationship Lily might have with Malfoy. He doubted that Lily could have anything good to say about the Slytherin boy after that encounter with that man last night. He had seen the frightened look on her face and doubted that she had felt comfortable with the situation.

A yell captured his attention, and he turned to see four younger Gryffindors fighting over a bag of pranks. The scene almost made him laugh. The four could have almost been a mirror image of him, Remus, Sirius, and Peter when they were young. He was glad there was still some Gryffindor spirit left in the younger children, as the older ones seemed so serious these days. He was so busy looking at them that he almost didn't see Lily coming down the stairs, but luckily, her red hair was hard to miss.

"Lily," he called out, and she turned in surprise "I need to talk to you." He could have sworn there was almost a look of guilt on her face as she walked over but that could have just been the light. When she had reached the large red couch, she didn't even try to sit down. Instead, she just stood there looking down on him as if she hoped the conversation would go by quickly. "You sure you don't want to sit down" James asked, looking up at her, but she shook her head.

"I have a lot of work to do," she replied, as she put her hands in the pockets of a pair of pants that he couldn't recall ever seeing before.

"Just like that essay that you said you were doing here yesterday?" James asked with a raise of his eyebrow. "I guess you didn't have much time to finish it, seeing as you were in Hogsmede." Lily almost looked frightened at these words, but she pulled up an empty chair, so she could sit down.

"What are you talking about?" she questioned. "I was here the whole time."

"Lily, please," James said. "You don't need to lie to me anymore. I saw you with Malfoy." She twisted her hands nervously in her lap.

"I didn't want to lie . . ." she said softly. "I didn't think you'd approve."

"Approve?" he asked. "Why would I approve of someone who pulled you into a shady alleyway, so he could talk to one of his Death Eater friends?"

"Malfoy's not a Death Eater," Lily returned. "And I don't know what you saw, but he was protecting me."

"By leaving you all by yourself?" James pressed. "A Hippogriff could have done a better job protecting you. Hell, I could have done a better job protecting you."

"I know," Lily said softly but then, she seemed to gain more confidence. "Malfoy knows what he's doing. He's trying to fight Voldemort, but it's difficult for him. I think he feels caught between his father and doing what's right."

"Doing what's right?" James asked. "Are we talking about the same person? He tied my feet together and left me on the ground. But maybe he doesn't like me, because I'm not a girl that he's trying to sleep with."

"Malfoy is not trying to sleep with me," Lily responded angrily. "He's my friend, and I trust him."

"But why?" James replied. "Because he's told you a few charming lines and took you to Hogsmede? Any slimy git can do that. Even Sirius did that a few times, and you knew his reputation."

"Draco cares about me," she said, and James recoiled at her use of his first name. "Please, just give me the chance to be with someone who cares about me."

"I . . ." James started, but for the first time in this whole conversation, he didn't know what to say.

"I guess now that you know, I'll have to tell the others, unless you want too," Lily continued. "It would just make this a whole lot better if I had your support."

"Make what better?" James finally asked. "Are you two going to Hogsmede again?"

"He asked me to the Yule Ball," Lily admitted. "We're going together." James felt his heart stop for a second, but he carried on as if her words hadn't bothered him at all.

"Oh," he said in an even tone. "Well, then, you might want to let Harry and the rest of them know. It might be a nasty surprise if they find out when you two walk out on to the dance floor."

"Yeah," she said. "I'll go do that now then. Do you know where they are? I didn't exactly see Hermione around when I woke up this morning, and last night, I came back late, since I didn't know how to explain all the extra clothes to her."

"She's walking around the lake with Harry and Ron," James replied, still with the even tone. "They'll probably be easy to spot."

"Thanks," she replied. "And I appreciate you being so nice about this."

"Yeah, sure, anytime," James continued. "See you around."

"Yeah, see you," Lily answered, and she got up from her chair and pushed it away from the couch. Brushing off her pants, he turned and left through the portrait hole, leaving James alone on the couch. Now that she was gone, he couldn't stop reliving the conversation over and over again in his head. The one part he couldn't get past was when she had said that she just wanted to be with someone who cared for her.

James just wondered how she couldn't see the boy in front of her who had cared for her for most of her time at Hogwarts. What did he have to do to be good enough for her anyways? Did she want him to spend money on her like Draco did and try to awe her with false charm? He hadn't thought that she would have wanted to be treated like that anyways. Hell, he could have bought her anything she wanted back in their time. His parents were well off, and his bank account was by no means empty. He just didn't think she would have wanted it. He guessed he was wrong.

00000

Harry chatted easily with his friends, as they made their way around the lake. The sun was rising higher in the sky, and it was becoming an unusually warm day. Ron was looking forward to trying out some of the newest additions to the Skiving Snackbox next time they had Potions, and Hermione was uncharacteristically not chastising him for it. Harry could tell that even she realized that Ron needed a break, especially after a week of getting straight D's on every potion they had tried to brew. He didn't know why Snape had been in such a bad mood the last week, but he guessed it had something to do with James who had been particularly irritable the last week and had refused to do a single piece of homework.

He wondered if James's irritability had been the reason he had needed to talk to Lily in private. Harry wasn't blind. He had seen Lily and Malfoy talking together during Potions, and to be completely honest, he desperately hoped it was only a passing phase. It wasn't really something he liked to think about thought. The idea of his mother and his enemy actually enjoying each others' presence gave him pause especially when he realized that James' anger probably arose from something more than just a friendship.

Wrapped up in his thoughts, Hermione and Ron seemed to notice that he wasn't participating in the conversation about whether Ron should take the Choking Chocolate in the beginning of class when it would be more suspicious or in the middle which meant he would have to sit through more of the class.

"Harry, you haven't said a word," Hermione noted. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm just thinking," Harry replied. "Have you two noticed anything between Lily and Malfoy?" Hermione and Ron exchanged looks.

"Well, they do seem to be awfully friendly," Hermione said carefully. "But he's Malfoy. I think Lily would have enough sense to see what he's really like."

"Yeah," Ron agreed. "Your mom isn't stupid Harry. Wait," he paused as if he had just realized something. "You think she could be spying on him?"

"Yeah," Harry said. That thought hadn't occurred to him yet, but it was the perfect explanation for Lily's behavior. Obviously, she had to know what Malfoy was really like, and this was just a way to help them out. "That makes a lot of sense."

"Too bad you didn't think of that when we were trying to find out about the Chamber of Secrets," Ron said, smirking at Hermione. "You could have pretended to like that bastard. Probably would have saved us a lot of grief, and you wouldn't have ended up looking like a cat."

Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "And that would have worked because Malfoy is so intent on dating muggle borns," she responded.

"Oh, right," Ron replied. "But then why is he interested in Lily? She's not exactly a pureblood."

"I don't know," Harry said honestly. "I just don't want her getting hurt. She's my mom."

"We know Harry," Hermione said putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "And we'll be watching to make sure he doesn't do anything."

"Yeah," Ron agreed. "Because I for one am not turning down a chance to give that bastard what he deserves."

"Thanks," Harry said, but he suddenly paused. The sound of the wind had made him look back at the castle, and he had caught a glimpse of a figure walking towards them, a figure that looked suspiciously like his mother. "Wait, I think Lily's coming over here," he continued in surprise, turning around. The other two followed his lead and waited for the girl to reach them.

"Harry, Ron, Hermione," Lily said, as she caught up to them. She was a bit out of breath, and her hair was tumbling out of its messy bun. "I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, of course," Ron said, and he sat down on the ground. Lily sat down on a patch of grass and so did Harry and Hermione. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Lily said. "I don't really know how to put this, but . . ."

"Lily?" Hermione asked noticing Lily's flushed expression.

"I'm going with Draco to the Yule Ball," Lily admitted, and then, she looked down at the ground, obviously too embarrassed to look up to see their reactions.

"You're what?" Ron asked, clearly in shock. Harry guessed that Ron's idea of her spying consisted merely of brief conversations in the Potions classroom not ball attendance. Personally, he wasn't sure whether to go wring Malfoy's neck or to trust Lily. It couldn't be that she actually wanted to go with him. It had to be a ruse. It was Malfoy. He was evil. But if it was a deception, then why did she look so embarrassed to admit she was going with him? The answer to that question was so terrifying that he was almost afraid to think about it.

"Lily, you don't have to do this if you don't want too," Hermione said. "If you think that this will help us . . ."

"No," Lily replied. "I'm going with him, because I want too." The silence after this statement was almost deafening. Harry wouldn't even look up at her, but it wouldn't have mattered, as she too was refusing to look up from the ground. Harry couldn't believe what was happening. Had the Slytherin boy actually made his mother fall for him? He knew Malfoy couldn't actually return Lily's feelings. He was obviously trying to hurt her just like he tried to hurt Harry and his friends. But Harry wasn't sure that Lily would understand this. She just didn't know Malfoy the way the rest of them did.

"Lily, please," Harry said, finally looking up. She raised her head slowly and gave him a sad look. "You don't understand what he's capable of. He's a monster."

"Maybe you think he's a monster, because that's the way everyone's been treating him for the past seven years," she said, her eyes glistening in the sunlight. "I can see the human in him."

"What human?" Ron said bitterly, kicking the ground in front of him. "He's been a jerk since first year."

"No one's completely evil," Lily argued. "And I think there's a lot more good in him than you give him credit for."

"I think you're trying to humanize someone who doesn't want to be saved," Hermione said gently. "It's human nature to want to rescue someone, but it's dangerous if that behavior threatens yourself."

"It's not," Lily responded, shaking her head. She sat there for a few seconds before using her arms to push herself up off the ground. "I'm sorry if I upset any of you," she said slowly. "I didn't mean to, but this is something I want to do."

"Lily," Harry said, and she turned around and looked into his sad eyes.

"Harry, this doesn't mean I don't care about you," she responded. "I know you're my son, but I need to go with Malfoy to this dance." She looked away, and Harry watched, as she made her way back up to the castle, a lone figure moving slowly up the lawn.

"What a load of bullocks," Ron said when she had left. "She thinks she can make Malfoy good?"

"People have thought stranger things than that," Hermione responded. "I just hope she won't get hurt."

"How could she not get hurt?" Harry said angrily. "He's never done anything to benefit anyone but himself."

"Give him a chance," Hermione said. "Maybe Lily saw something that the rest of us couldn't."

"But just a few seconds ago, you were telling Lily not to do this," Harry argued. "And now you're on her side?"

"I'm not on anyone's side," Hermione responded. "I just think that if she's that determined to do something, we might want to let her work things out on her own. We don't want her to distance herself from us."

"But what if that means he hurts her?" Harry yelled. "I don't trust this guy."

"I don't either," Hermione replied. "But we need to observe and find out what's really going on before we start fighting." Harry understood her logic but that didn't mean he wanted to go along with it.

"Mind if I go get some stuff in the common room?" he asked. "I need some space to think."

"Take as much time as you want," Hermione said, and she looked at him compassionately. "And if you want someone to talk to, Ron and I will be there for you."

"Yeah, mate," Ron said.

"Thanks," Harry said, as he pulled himself up. "I'll see you two around." He waved his goodbyes and started the walk back to the castle. On the way up, he tried to force himself to think of other things. He just didn't want to admit that Malfoy had managed to do this, to get Harry's mother to fall for him of all things. It was so unbelievable that he wouldn't have thought it possible at the beginning of the year. He only hoped that James was able to cope with this. He had seen the anger of the other boy and knew that if provoked, James was really dangerous. One side of Harry knew that he wouldn't mind if all that anger was directed towards Malfoy, but his other side told him that not even Malfoy deserved that.

Still, the talk of the Yule Ball had brought another subject to the forefront of his mind. He still hadn't asked Ginny to the dance yet. Any doubts or hesitations he had had before were now gone, as the anger over Malfoy asking Lily to the ball had driven them away. He knew that right now probably wasn't the best time to ask her, but he needed to do something that would distract him, at least temporarily, from the terrible news he had learned at the lake.

It wasn't hard to find Ginny. She could be usually located in the Great Hall gossiping with her friends at the Gryffindor table. Before, Harry would have worried about getting her away from her friends, but right now, that seemed of little importance. Entering the Great Hall, he walked over to the bench where she and her friends were sitting.

"Hey Ginny," he said, and she looked up. "Think I could talk to you for a few minutes?"

She got up from the table, but not before turning to her friends and saying, "I'll see you all at lunch." Harry watched, as she stood up and brushed off her skirt.

"Anything wrong, Harry?" she asked. "You look upset." Harry shrugged.

"Do you mind if we go outside to talk?" he asked. "I think I need the fresh air."

"Yeah," she agreed. "It has been really stuffy inside." She smiled at him which put him more at ease and followed him through the castle to the big doors.

"So how have you been?" Harry asked, as he held the door open for her. Now that he had Ginny out here, he wasn't sure exactly what to say. He didn't want to blatantly ask her, but he wasn't sure exactly how to approach the question.

"Fine," Ginny answered, as she stepped out of the castle into the sunlight. Harry watched as the light brought out the lighter streaks in her red hair. "Flitwick's been assigning us a ton of work lately, but you know how that is."

"Yeah," Harry agreed, stepping out beside her. "Teachers do go crazy when they start thinking about NEWTs."

"Exactly," Ginny replied. "And it's not that I don't want to learn, because I do, but I need time for doing what I love."

"Which is?" Harry asked, genuinely curious.

"Being with my friends, I guess," Ginny admitted. "Not very brave when you put it next to all the things you've done, but still, it's what I enjoy."

"But Ginny, I feel the same way," Harry responded. "Sometimes you just want a peaceful life where you can do what you want to do, and I know I wouldn't have survived the past years without my friends." Ginny had a wistful expression on her face, and Harry longed to know what she was thinking.

"Yeah, Ron and Hermione have been great," she said. "It's just sometimes I wish I could have been there for some of the adventures."

"But you were," Harry responded. "You were there in fifth year when we fought Voldemort at the Ministry of Magic. Remember how great your bat bogey hex was?" Ginny laughed.

"I remember that hex," she said. "Funny how things change. Teachers want you to move on to more _mature_ charms, but I think the old ones work the best."

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Funny." They walked in silence for a few seconds before Harry ventured to speak again. "So, I was thinking about the Yule Ball and . . ."

"Oh, Harry," Ginny said interrupting. "Please don't tell me you brought me out here to ask me to the Yule Ball." Harry stopped and looked at her.

"Well, that was kind of the idea," he admitted. "You don't want to go with me?"

"It's not that," she said. "But Michael Corner asked me last week."

"But I thought you two had broken up," Harry replied.

"We got back together in the beginning of school," Ginny admitted. "I didn't tell anyone, because I didn't want Ron to overreact again. He can be so ridiculous sometimes."

"Oh," Harry said, already feeling distanced from her. "Well, then, I hope you have fun."

"Harry, please," Ginny responded. "I didn't know you would ask me."

"Yeah, I know," Harry answered. "It's fine. I guess I'll see you around school then?"

"Yeah, definitely," Ginny said sadly. They walked back to Hogwarts in silence, Harry feeling even more wretched than he did when he had gone inside the first time that day. They parted ways at the entrance, and Ginny waved goodbye with a muffled "sorry" that Harry nodded too. He knew his behavior was far from polite, but he didn't know how to deal with himself at the moment. All he wanted to do was to go up to the common room, so he could sleep for a while and pretend this day had never happened.

The walk up to the common room took only a few minutes, and Harry was glad to find it mostly empty, or so he thought. A walk over to the large fireplace revealed another person lying on a nearby couch.

"Harry?" James asked from where he laid spread over the large crimson sofa. "Did she tell you?" Harry could have sworn that there were tears in his eyes but that could have just been from the light. Harry sat down on the floor with his back leaning against the couch, so he could look at the fire.

"Yeah," Harry said. "And then I went to go ask Ginny to the Yule Ball, but she turned me down."

"Bloody girls," James answered. "Why are we so addicted to them?"

"I don't know," Harry replied. "Maybe because there's that small sliver of hope that things might actually work out."

"Yeah, what a joke," James responded. He lay on the couch for a few more seconds before he propped himself up on his elbow. "Say, you want to go stag to the Yule Ball with me? Maybe we can pick up some girls who've gotten pissed at their dates."

"Sure," Harry shrugged. "I'm up for anything that'll be a distraction."

"I'll introduce you to some of the Ravenclaw girls," James said. "They may be a bit trashy, but they aren't big on breaking hearts."

"Yeah, that sounds good," Harry answered. "That sounds really good."

00000

Though the attacks happened on Sunday night, it wasn't till Monday morning that the students of Hogwarts found out that several important muggle government buildings had been destroyed and key political figures killed. While the muggle community blamed the attacks on a terrorist group from somewhere in Asia, the magical community knew better. Only strong Obliviations had managed to erase the memory of the large skull and snake in the sky from the minds of the few muggles who had been able to survive, but their stories sent fear through the hearts of many who poured over the story in the Daily Prophet, desperate to understand how such an attack could have occurred.

In his office, Dumbledore shook his head sadly, as he read owls that explained the matter more fully than any newspaper could. He knew this was the result of the Ministry's negligence in dealing with Voldemort. Their feigned ignorance had led to his being able to grow in strength in secret, while the Ministry pretended everything was fine. Their behavior was despicable, but there was no use in dwelling in the past. Dumbledore knew that the present and future would have to be dealt with, and he knew that a final war was imminent.

Voldemort never would have launched such an attack if he weren't almost ready to fight. Such an act was a direct declaration of strength and meant the Ministry couldn't hide behind lies anymore. He must be strong, Dumbledore thought, stronger than we realized. He wondered how much the students knew. Certainly the attacks would scare them, but the attacks had been on muggle targets, and few of the students would have been personally involved. He figured that they would probably forget about them in a few weeks, but till then, morale would be low, as fear reigned.

There was only one thing to do, Dumbledore realized. In order to raise spirits and prevent the students from becoming completely overwhelmed in fear, it would be a good idea to offer them something fun and lighthearted, in other words, move up the Yule Ball to the coming weekend.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Reading back through this story, I realized there's been a lot of angst lately, so I wanted to make this one a bit more light-hearted just to give everyone a break. It might not be as long as the others, but I just got back from my trip (which was amazing) and wanted to at least publish something this week, so I could have time over the next week to work on the Yule Ball chapter, which is coming, I promise. So just to let you know, it might not fit in that well with the rest of the chapters, so if you don't like it, you can probably just disregard. And yes, I did take ballroom dancing classes in middle school, so some of my knowledge may be a bit shaky, but it was definitely an experience :-)**

Chapter 10

The news that the Yule Ball had been moved up was cause for much celebration throughout Hogwarts. Even Peeves seemed in an especially joyous mood, and he honored the occasion by locking Mrs. Norris in a fifth floor closet where she wasn't found until the following afternoon by Filch who got a scratch across his face for his troubles. In his anger, Filch accused several of the students who had passed by the closet on the way to the Astronomy Tower of deliberately ignoring her, but they had cheerfully told him that they had attributed her yowling sounds to the Bloody Baron. Filch was not pleased, but what could he do? He was running out of space in his file cabinets to fit any more student records, and besides, he had a bleeding cheek to attend to.

On the other hand, Professor McGonagall had determined that the school needed another round of dance lessons. Most of the students who had previously attended the dance had graduated, leaving a whole other wave of students who could barely manage to miss the trip stair, let alone attempt a curtsey. So on the Thursday before the dance, Professor McGonagall herded all the students in between years four and seven into the Great Hall and told them that they were going to stay there until they all learned how to dance.

This news was at first greeted by much enthusiasm by the girls who were excited to finally learn as well as to get the opportunity to watch the boys humiliate themselves in front of everyone. Lavender Brown was heard telling everyone within earshot how her Durmstrang partner from the last ball had told her that she was the best waltzer in Europe and how they had danced for hours, and Parvarti was busy singing the praises of her various Beauxbatons partners who still sent her long, flowery letters.

Contrastingly, the boys were already prepping themselves for misery. Forced into the Great Hall with the rest of the students, Harry drummed his fingernails on the table while James stuck his feet up on one of the house tables that had been scooted to the side of the room to leave room for the dance practice. Ron sat next to them looking glum while Hermione caught up on some extra studying. Most of the students were seated at the tables on the sides and a few sat on the cold stone floor, while Professor McGonagall fiddled away with an ancient looking record player in the corner, giving the anxious students a chance to talk.

"I can't believe we have to do this," Ron groaned, as placed his head in his hands. "I know how to dance." He gave Hermione a cross look when she looked up from her book and smiled. "What's wrong with you?" he asked testily.

"It's just that . . ." Hermione started, trying to hide her smile. "Padma Patil was complaining the whole second half of fourth year about how she had to use a whole jar of bruise cream after the Yule Ball, because you kept stepping on her feet."

"Yeah, well, she wasn't that great of a dancer," Ron mumbled, looking a bit red.

"Well, I asked her where she got the jar, just in case," Hermione responded, and Ron looked offended.

"Hermione, if you think . . ." he sputtered. "There's no way that's going to happen."

"I was kidding," she smiled, and James rolled his eyes.

"You guys are sickening," he said, removing his feet from the table. "And plus, it's really not that hard to dance. You just got to have rhythm."

"How come you know that much about it?" Ron asked. "I bet you won't be that great out there."

"You say that now," James smirked. "But I was a hit with the girls back in my time."

"Yeah, back in your time," Ron snorted. "What'd you do, waltz back then?" James raised his eyebrows.

"I wouldn't underestimate the power of the waltz," he responded mysteriously, and Ron looked mystified.

"What's he talking about?" Ron whispered to Harry, and Harry shrugged.

"No idea," Harry answered. "But I wouldn't place bets against him. I think he knows what he's talking about."

"How could he be a good dancer?" Ron asked. "He's related to you."

"Hey, don't you want me on your side?" Harry responded, and Ron grinned. However, their conversation was cut off by Professor McGonagall who had finally gotten the record player to work. She moved to the center of the floor and motioned to a Hufflepuff boy to join her. He blushed bright red and only moved when she gave him an impatient look. Meanwhile, many of the Slytherins were laughing. James could see Lily sitting by Malfoy and was glad to see that she wasn't laughing though Malfoy had a smirk playing around his lips. James quickly turned away to look at Professor McGonagall who looked angry at the Slytherins' laughter.

"Attention," she said, and the room became quiet at once. There was something about Professor McGonagall that inspired silence, and she rarely had to issue punishments for rowdiness. "I have gathered you all here today to learn the basic waltz. It's a dance that has been employed for centuries and if Merlin could do the basic step, so can you. I will demonstrate it with young Martin here." She put her hand on his shoulder and motioned for him to put his hand on her waist. He blushed an even darker red and put his fingers lightly on her back so that they were barely touching. Some Slytherin sniggers came from the side of the room. She then grasped his other hand with her own and moved her left foot forward. "Now, Martin," she said. "Right foot back. Good. That's it. We're trying to form a box now with our feet."

Martin made it through half the step, but he was so shocked that he was doing something right that he stumbled and fell. There was no containing the Slytherin laughter now, and Hermione shot the entire side of the room a glare.

"Don't they understand how much they hurting him?" she muttered. "This is why some people can't reach their potential. They have others trying to shoot them down all the time." Ron rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Hermione," he whispered. "The kid's got to learn to stand up for himself." Hermione shook her head but didn't respond, as McGonagall had once again turned back to the group.

"Does anyone else want to help me demonstrate the waltz?" she asked, as Martin had made a quick escape to the safe haven of his Hufflepuff friends. Unsurprisingly, no hands were raised, and McGonagall gave a weary sigh. "Professor Dumbledore has entrusted this task to me, and I don't want a bunch of hooligans coming to the Yule Ball not even knowing the simplest step. Are you sure there're no volunteers?" She sighed again. "All right, Malfoy, come on up here."

"Malfoy?" Ron said to Harry in surprise. "Is she trying to destroy the lesson?"

"I hate to say this, but he might know what he's doing," Harry whispered back before he added, "I'm sure that's near the top of the list of Death Eater training skills and plus, it seems like something rich people would know how to do."

"This could be interesting," Ron responded. "I wonder if James will feel a bit of friendly competition." The two of them looked over at James who was looking a bit put out. Harry knew that the other boy would never volunteer himself to dance, but that didn't mean he wouldn't want to show off his skill.

Malfoy smirked and pushed himself up from his spot next to Lily. "I guess I could give the room a few tips," he responded and walked over confidently to the middle of the room. He raised his hands before McGonagall needed to tell him too and put his right hand on her waist and his left in her hand. Professor McGonagall hardly had time to point her wand at the record player before Malfoy had started the dance and began to do the steps while moving around the room in a counter-clockwise manner. He began to add in some more advanced moves but after about the third spin, he stabilized her and went to sit down. The rest of the room was staring at him, but he ignored the attention and merely leaned back against the table and whispered something in Lily's ear.

"Malfoy, that was . . ." Professor McGonagall started, but then she collected herself. "Well, as you've seen, that's one of the more advanced forms, but I wanted to start you all on the basic step. Get into partners," she continued and grew impatient when people began to mill around. "Boot, Abbot, this is a practice, not an engagement," she said irritably when two of the students looked uncomfortable at putting their hands together. With a few more encouragements, most of the group was finally matched up, and they could begin.

"All right," she began again. "Hands, as shown," she demonstrated in the air, and the students finally complied. "Now, boys, right foot back, and girls, left foot forward."

Most of the students finally managed to get the gist of it after about ten minutes and were beginning to move across the floor. A few, like Neville, were having a bit of trouble, and Neville's partner, a small Ravenclaw fifth year was tenderly rubbing her foot after he had stepped on it for the third time. Ron looked superiorly over at them from where he was dancing with Hermione.

"See," he told her. "I haven't stepped on your foot once." He was trying to talk as much as he could, so he could draw his attention away from the fact that he was holding Hermione in his arms. He didn't want to start blushing in the middle of a practice.

"You're doing a very good job," Hermione said. "But look at James. We're actually supposed to be moving somewhere not just mechanically doing the steps in one place." Ron looked over in amazement at James who was dancing with a very pretty Ravenclaw girl. Instead of doing the step in one place like most of the beginners, James was doing the steps at an angle, so that he traveled as he danced and twirled his partner around. Ron shrugged. At least he was doing better than Harry who was unfortunately stuck with a Hufflepuff girl who seemed more intent on fawning over Harry than actually trying to learn the dance. However, unfortunately, as Ron had taken his eyes off Hermione to watch James, he had gotten out of step and ended up kicking her in the foot accidently.

"Ouch," Hermione said, and she stopped, so she could clutch her foot. "Ronald, seriously."

"Sorry," Ron responded, turning back to her. "Uh, you want to take a break now?"

"Yes, that might be a good idea," she said, wincing as she took a step on her foot. "That part of the table near the window looks open." Ron looked up, and he saw that a surprising number of seats at the table had been taken by various couples that had dropped out of the dancing. Many of the girls were looking sourly at their partners while the boys just looked sheepish. Ron helped Hermione over to the table and sat down with here near Hannah Abbot and Terry Boot who had stopped dancing rather early and were now intent on talking to their friends instead of to each other. In fact, a few minutes later, there were only two couples left on the floor: Lily and Malfoy and James and the Ravenclaw girl.

Ron noticed the silence and looked around to see that almost everyone was watching the two couples. It was clear that both the girl and Lily were not too experienced when it came to dancing, but the skill of their partners more than made up for that. James and Malfoy were spinning the girls around so fast that Ron could see that they were becoming dizzy. The steps got even more complicated as time went on, and it was becoming obvious that this was about more than just practicing the dance. They were obviously each trying to outdo each other, and Ron almost felt bad for the girls who were struggling to keep up.

It was in the middle of a more complicated twist that the Ravenclaw girl just stopped and left James standing there. "If you can dance like that on Saturday, you can save me a waltz," she remarked. "But any more of that, and I think I'll pass out." Malfoy and Lily stopped dancing as well, and Lily stood there breathing heavily, while the rest of the Great Hall broke out into applause.

Ron watched Malfoy whisper something in Lily's ear while she blushed and whispered something back. He then directed his arm towards the seat, and followed her as she walked back.

James, on the other hand, gave his partner a hug and told her that he might be able to save her a dance but only if she could make it through all his adoring fans. She smirked and gave him a playful whack on the arm before separating, so she could go sit with her friends while he sat with his.

"You were bloody brilliant," Ron told him. "Too bad that girl had to drop out. You were ten times more talented than Malfoy." James smiled and ran a hand through his hair.

"Was Lily watching me?" he asked.

"I think she saw that small part when you started to stumble," Hermione said, her eyebrows raised, and James made a face at her.

"You must be delirious," he responded. "Stumble? Me?" He grinned, as he pulled some of the leftover Hogsmede candy out his pocket and stuck it in his mouth. A few younger students started to complain when he put up his feet on the table in front of him where they were sitting, but when they looked back and saw who they were talking too, they quickly turned back to their conversation, silenced.

00000

On the day of the Yule Ball, preparation for the girls started at ten in the morning. The Gryffindor girls' bathroom was so packed that Parvarti Patil finally put up a waiting list sheet on the door, on which you could sign up for a time in front of the mirror. Even some of the prefects were pocketing some coins from students who were paying them for a chance to use the Prefect's bathroom. Hermione even accused Ron of making some money off a fifth year girl who had given him a galleon in exchange for a bottle full of some of the more extravagant soap out of the Prefect's bathroom. He gave her a shifty look before handing over the coin which she promptly gave back to the girl after confiscating the soap. The girl accused her of using the soap for herself, and Hermione grabbed the coin back and launched it at Ron's head before Lavender Brown pulled her into the bathroom and told her that for Merlin's sake, it was two in the afternoon, and she wasn't even dressed. Hermione's nerves were certainly frazzled, and it didn't even help that the dress she had ordered from Gladrags the week before had come a size smaller than she had ordered.

She tried it on in front of the mirror and sighed. No matter how much she tried to stretch out the material, it was too tight. It was a shiny reddish bronze, and she had shuddered at the price but had ordered it, because it was one of the only dresses she could find that wasn't strapless. Not that it mattered anymore, since it was so tight that it didn't leave anything to the imagination anyways. She was about to go to the library to try to find a spell to enlarge it when she heard a gasp from the side.

"Hermione Granger, is that you?" she heard from a squealing Parvarti, and she inwardly grimaced as the other girl rushed toward her through the throngs of underclassmen practicing with lipstick. "You look unbelievable."

"It's a bit tight, actually," Hermione responded. "Do you know a spell I can use to make it a size larger?"

"That would be a crime," Parvarti answered her. "Honestly, Hermione, it's the first time you wear something that actually fits you, and you want to ruin it."

Hermione raised her eyebrows. "Ruin it?" she muttered. "I can't even eat let alone move in this thing."

"That's the point," Parvarti replied. "Wouldn't want to gain any extra pounds tonight. I can't believe I ate breakfast," she said, as she left Hermione to put on some mascara in an empty mirror.

Hermione sighed, as she turned back towards the mirror. Girls these days were ridiculous. She wouldn't dream of not eating today, especially when the house elves had been working day and night to make the feast planned for that night. She pulled out a seldom-used bottle out of her bag and looked at it pensively. She still had some time left, and she might as well do her hair. It was the bottle of serum that she had used that same night three years ago when she'd gone to the Yule Ball with Victor Krum. She could barely remember the frizz-free waves her hair had formed the last time she used it, but she remembered that Victor had thought it was nice. Tonight, it would just be a silly time with Ron, but she might as well look decent, and then maybe, he'd just look at her hair instead of at the rest of her body which the stupid dress was exposing. She shook the bottle and poured a bit on her hands. Rubbing it in, she marveled at how quickly the shiny curls formed around her face and then shook herself.

"It's only hair," she reminded herself. "Things like books and learning, that's what's really important." She decided to forgo the bright red lipstick and put on some moisturizing lip balm instead. A few minutes later, she was done getting ready and free to spend the rest of the time in her room catching up on some homework due the next week. She was interrupted a few times by some squealing girls but did it really matter? She didn't really see the point in this whole Yule Ball thing anyways. Sure, it raised school spirit, and the younger students did seem to like getting dressed up, but it seemed like a waste of time to spend hours in front of the mirror to impress a few boys, a few boys that included Ron.

Argh, she sighed. She was not going to think about Ron right now. Not when there were more important things like the uses of newt's tongue to memorize. Still, about an hour later when the throngs of girls were beginning to appear more and more frequently, she made her way over to a mirror and swiped some red lipstick across her lips. Books be damned, she might as well look nice that night.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Finally, it's the Yule Ball. Just to let you know, it's the longest chapter yet at over 5,000 words, so I hope it satisfies, since my updates might get a little erratic over the next few weeks because of a crazy college visiting schedule. I also wanted to say a thank you to all my reviewers. It's really great to hear from some of you week after week, and I really appreciate all the time you put into your reviews, because it's so encouraging to know that people are actually reading this story and enjoying it. Even if you've only reviewed once, I still love hearing what you have to say, because one of my favorite parts of writing is checking my inbox the day after posting just to see what people thought about the chapter. So keep on reviewing, and I hope you like the chapter.**

Chapter 11

There was a half an hour of calm before the start of the Yule Ball. In the Great Hall, the icicles had already been hung around the sides of the room, and the floating candles drifted lazily around the room, soon to illuminate dozens of pairs of dancing couples. The stone floor had been covered by a hard wood dance floor and the tables had been moved to the side, so they could be covered in all sorts of delicacies from plum pudding to tiramisu. An empty band stand had replaced the head table and would soon be occupied by the Weird Sisters who had taken time out of their sold out tour to play their newest hits for the Hogwarts student body. But for now, there was calm, a calm that was not echoed in the Gryffindor common room.

It was Melanie Snuff, a timid third year, who saw him first, a tall blonde boy dressed in black except for a green tie that stood out against the expensive silk of his suit. She had been on her way out of the common room to go to the library, but the sight of the intimidating boy standing next to the painting of the fat lady sent her scurrying back to the safety of the common room, slamming the painting in his face.

"Draco Malfoy, in the hallway," she squealed to the crowd of students before running up the stairs to her room, her long black hair trailing after her, and a bag of books laying forgotten next to the portrait hole where she had dropped them in surprise. If the common room had been moderately loud before her announcement, it was deafening now.

"The nerve," Parvarti sniffed from her spot near the fireplace. She and Lavender were waiting to go meet their dates at the stairs near the Great Hall and were eager for the dance to begin. "How does he know where our common room is anyways?"

"I knew there was something sinister under all those good looks," Lavender responded, as she checked her lipstick in a small pocket mirror she kept in her purse. "I don't know what Lily sees in him." At that pronouncement, the two girls looked around the common room to see if they could see the girl in question. Luckily, at that moment, Lily was just descending the stairs, as the whole room watched in surprise.

Lily looked radiant in the light of the fireplace. Instead of putting her hair up like many of the other girls, she had merely curled it and let it fall gracefully down her back. A gold necklace lay on the hollow of her throat, and the diamond in the pendent reflected rainbows in the light. Even her green dress seemed to fit her perfectly, and she looked comfortable in the heels she had borrowed from Parvarti and didn't seem to stumble, as she finally reached the floor at the base of the steps. Looking around, she spotted Parvarti and Lavender and made her way over.

"Hey, you two look great," she said smiling at them. "I heard a third year screaming that Draco was here?"

"Yeah, so please ask your boyfriend how he knows where our common room is," Lavender told her, as she checked her nails. "Security seems to be getting a bit lax."

"He doesn't tell me everything," Lily admitted. "Though I'm not surprised he knows."

"Well, in my opinion, Slytherins need to stay in the dungeons," Lavender sniffed. "No offense, Lily," she added at the last minute, noting Lily's crestfallen expression. "Well, what are you waiting for? Don't leave the boy standing out there all night." Lily brightened.

"Yeah, I guess I better go," she said turning around. "See you two around."

"See you," Parvarti and Lavender said at the same time and stood watching her leave.

"How does she get away with borrowing Hermione's clothes, knowing next to nothing about makeup, and end up Draco Malfoy's girlfriend?" Lavender asked. "I bet she didn't even pick that dress out. I had to cost at least twenty galleons." She pulled out the mirror and looked at herself critically before she put it away. "Do you think I should have gone with coral eye shadow?"

"I think it's just the light," Parvarti responded. "Put the mirror away and come on. We're not going to miss the first dance. Though with the amount of time Robert and Dan take in front of the mirror, I'll be surprised if we'll get there before the dance is over."

00000

It took a few seconds for Lily's eyes to adjust to the darkness when she stepped out of the portrait hole. The first thing she saw was a corsage of roses enclosed in a pale hand and when she looked up, she saw Draco, his blonde hair shining in the shadows of the hallway.

"You look wonderful," was the first thing he said, as he took her arm and slid the corsage on. "It was worth the stares to be able to come pick you up here."

"I'm glad you did," Lily responded. "Though I think that poor third year is still in shock in her room. How did you know where our common room was anyways?"

"I'm surprised you don't know," he replied, his eyebrow quirked. "Ever heard of the Muggle phrase, keep your friends close and your enemies cl…" Lily rolled her eyes and tapped him lightly on the arm.

"Those are my friends you're talking about," she responded, though there was a smile playing around her lips. "I do care about how they feel."

"Be sure to ask them how they feel about this," he said and leaned forwards to press his lips against hers. Lily was completely taken aback by this, as he'd never kissed her before, but the kiss was not unwelcome. The first thing she noticed was the softness of his lips and the warmth of his breath, so different from the boy who often seemed so cold to others. The pressure of his lips felt awkward at first, but she began to move her lips along with his, and the movement became almost rhythmic, as he slid his arms around her waist. She moved her hands to his neck and was surprised to find herself pulling him closer. However, this part of her that was so foreign and uncontrollable scared her, and she put her hands gently against the silk of his shirt and pushed him away.

"I'm sorry," she said, her breathing still fast. "I was enjoying it, but I didn't expect to lose control of myself like that." She was scared that he'd be upset, but he instead looked almost amused.

"I think that was the first time someone's every pushed me away," he mused. "As studious as you are, I thought you might like a little loss of control."

Lily gave a rueful smile. He was right about her dreams of breaking free of an uptight life, but she wasn't sure that in reality, that was actually what she wanted. Even so, she looked up at him and said, "Next time, there won't be a push."

"I'll remember that," he responded and offered her his arm. "I'd stay here with you, but I think others need to see you in that dress." She took his arm and began to walk with him along the stone hallway. They walked in silence, but it was not an unwelcome one, and she appreciated the sturdiness of his arm that allowed her support, as she tried not to trip on her heels.

She was almost sorry to see the lights that marked the entrance to the Great Hall, but the music and the loud conversations made up for the pleasurable walk that was about to end. The doors were standing wide open, and as she and Malfoy made their way in, Lily stopped for a second to absorb her surroundings. The night sky was cloudless, and the stars twinkled down from where they shone from the ceiling of the Great Hall. The floor was filled with dancing couples, twirling around and pretending that they had actually learned something from the dance lesson. Even more couples were sitting at the tables that had pushed to the side and eating from the large platters of food that the house elves must have spent several days preparing. A band of three witches were in the front of the room were playing a song she had never heard of before, while some girls who hadn't managed to find partners swayed around in a circle at the front. It was breathtaking for Lily, though Malfoy seemed surprised that she had stopped.

"Ready to go in?" he asked, and she looked over at him.

"Yeah," she replied. "It's just so beautiful."

"You should have seen it in fourth year," he responded. "I think Dumbledore must have had a hell of a time trying to finish this in time. He didn't even get the fairies this time." Even so, Lily didn't care. She wanted to stay in this room forever. She hadn't even noticed that she was still staring around till he asked her to dance. She nodded and followed him onto the floor. She was preparing for the fast and complex waltz they had danced at the lesson, but he surprised her by wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her in close. Hesitating for a second, she responded by wrapping her arms around his neck and noticed that many of the other couples nearby were doing the same thing, clearly tired of trying to master a dance they had no idea how to do. The swaying of Draco's body was soothing, and she found herself listening to the song, which was about a young witch who had fallen in love with a dark wizard with a giant broomstick. The subject matter would have made her laugh any other day, but wrapped in Draco's arms, she contented herself with a smile.

"Having fun?" he asked, and she nodded.

"I don't ever want to leave," she responded.

They danced like that for a few more dances before Lily noticed that her feet were starting to hurt. By this point, more and more couples had migrated over to the food tables, and she and Malfoy joined them. Grabbing a napkin and a small truffle, she sat on the bench near some of the other Slytherins and tried to ignore the fact that some of them moved over as she sat down, as if they wanted nothing to do with her. However, this was easy to forget when she saw Malfoy loading a plate with two slices of tiramisu on it, her favorite dessert. She was still waiting for him, when a shadow fell over her, and she looked up to see Pansy Parkinson standing in front of her. She was dressed in a light pink sheath dress with makeup that must have taken hours to put on and only partly succeeded to hide her pug nose.

"Evans," she purred. "You can't possibly think you're going to keep your partner all to yourself tonight." Lily looked at her in surprise.

"I'm not keeping Draco," Lily responded, and Pansy looked taken aback at her use of Malfoy's first name. "He can dance with whoever he wants."

"Don't act so smug," the Slytherin responded. "There's no way Malfoy would willingly dance with a Mudblood like you. It's an embarrassment that you're even here in this school."

"Why are you so mad at me?" Lily asked, angry now at the Slytherin girl. "Is it because Malfoy asked me instead of you?" Pansy flushed and glared at her.

"He would have asked me," she spat out. "But does it matter? You're going back to your time where you'll get killed by the greatest wizard that ever was, while Draco and I will be happy together."

"If that's the case, I wish the two of you all the happiness you can find," Lily replied coldly. "Now, if you excuse me, I have a date to find," she said getting up and walking over to Malfoy who was picking up some forks. "I think Pansy is jealous," she told him, and he grimaced.

"One invitation to the Yule Ball in fourth year, and she considers us engaged," he remarked. "Ignore her." Lily was glad Malfoy didn't take the girl seriously, but she was still surprised by her bitterness. Her mood was further heightened when she took her first bite into the tiramisu. It was delicious. A few more bites, and her sore feet and Parkinson were forgotten. Placing the plate on a nearby table, she allowed Malfoy to pull her back onto the dance floor.

00000

Ginny Weasley wasn't having the time of her life. Michael Corner had already tried to forcibly make out with her twice in one of the shadowy corners of the Great Hall, and the two sugar cookies she had eaten were making her dress feel uncomfortably tight. She regretted buying such a small size. It had looked amazing at the store but hearing that Harry would have asked her to Yule Ball sent her into a three-day long downward spiral that involved a lot of comfort food and not a lot of moving from her unmade bed, a fact that she didn't want to get out to the general public.

Because it wasn't that she was pining after the stupid Gryffindor seventh year. He had made it clear in their younger years that he only viewed her like a friend, and maybe even less than that, as he rarely included her on his adventures. It had gotten so terrible that she had been forced to talk a book in second year, a book!

But now that she had boys clamoring after her, he suddenly took her seriously and wanted to take her to the dance? How could she trust a boy like that? They were all like that, especially Michael who was looking at her hungrily again. She rued the day she ever told him that she would be his girlfriend. She figured she did it more to bother Ron than because she actually liked the boy. She wished she could have just gone with Harry. Harry would have been holding her gently and telling her how beautiful she looked. Harry would have given her a corsage and would have opened the door for her. Harry . . . but Harry had lost the chance to take her to the dance. Harry had . . . Damn it, she swore in her thoughts. What she wouldn't give to have that moment back. She would have said yes a million times and kissed him right then and there. She would have . . .

"You there?" Michael asked, looking at her strangely. "You look really spaced out."

"Yeah," Ginny replied. "This song is really boring."

"Yeah, I know," Michael responded. "Which is why I was asking you if you wanted to go out to the gardens with me and some friends. Anthony Goldstein said he brought some firewhiskey down from his room."

"That would be great," Ginny said, glad for a chance to leave the brightly lit room. "Lead the way." She followed him out of the room, thinking to herself that in the beginning of the year, she might have held his hand instead of trailing after him like a wandering puppy. What she wouldn't give for this night to be over.

The walk to the front doors was a short one and from there, it only took about a minute to reach the rose gardens to the side of the school. Ginny was glad. Right now, an open bottle of firewhiskey seemed extremely inviting. She wasn't a heavy drinker, but she did usually take shots when she was out with friends, and she appreciated the sensation of being slightly buzzed. It helped her forget that the friends she was with were not the three who had never included her as one of them. It helped her forget that no matter how much her popularity grew, she always considered herself somewhat of a nomad who didn't belong anywhere. Damn you Harry, she cursed in her mind. Why didn't you want me when I needed you?

There were four students already in the small space in the midst of all the bushes: two Ravenclaw boys and two girls. A bottle was in the hand of one of the boys, and Ginny noticed that it was already half-full.

"Save us any?" Michael asked, coming up to the others. "Remember, I paid for a share of that."

"Yeah," a boy Ginny recognized as Anthony responded, as he handed over the bottle. "Though you took your time getting out here. If you were trying to hook up with your girlfriend in there, you should have just waited till you both were good and sloshed." Ginny narrowed her eyes and waited for Michael to say something, to deny that he would try to take a advantage of her when she was drunk, but instead, he laughed and grabbed the bottle and took a big gulp.

"Quality stuff," he murmured and passed the bottle over to her. "Don't drink too much," he told her. "We don't have that much left." Ginny hadn't been planning on drinking a lot, but his words made her angry. When he turned back to his friends to ask what they had been doing out here in the dark, she took a large gulp of the whiskey. It burned her throat going down, but it was a welcome sensation. She took another drink and another, and it was when the bushes started to wobble that she remembered she hadn't eaten much all day. She set the bottle down and looked over at Michael who was all of a sudden looking rather strange in the light of the moon.

She started laughing, not sure why, except for the fact that Michael's hair was glowing, and it seemed ridiculously funny. She didn't even comprehend that it might seem strange to the others until they looked at her oddly as if she was somewhat mad. Comprehending, Michael looked down at the empty bottle which was still sitting at her feet.

"Damn it, Ginny," he said. "You drank the rest of the firewhiskey." He turned back to the other students. "Sorry, looks like my girlfriend didn't want to share." Ginny laughed again, not knowing why.

"Share?" she asked, confused as to why they'd even want the alcohol. "Why do you even want this? There's nothing wrong with all of your lives. Everything's perfect, so perfect."

"Perfect?" Michael asked with a skeptical look on his face. "Ginny, you're drunk. Go inside, drink a glass of water, and go to sleep."

"You want me to go away?" Ginny asked. "Because I'm not good enough for you?"

"No, because you look like you could throw up any second," Michael responded. "Now go back to Gryffindor tower. We'll talk in the morning."

"I thought you wanted to hook up with me," Ginny said, her thoughts a jumble except for the pervading sense that no one wanted her.

"Not right now," Michael said, looking at her with a sense of condescension. "Look, you're embarrassing me," he told her quietly. "Please, just go back to the tower." Ginny gave him one last glance and turned away. If she was embarrassing him, fine. She would just leave and never see him anymore. All she wanted anyways was a nice big bed right now where she could sleep for a long time and not wake up.

She began to walk down one of the paths, not really knowing the way back and too drunk to try to figure it out. She thought she was alone until she saw a lone figure walking towards her, a figure that looked familiar. The shock of black hair and pale skin was noticeable even in the darkness, and she almost cried to see the face of the boy she wanted more than anything. No more pretended politeness or poise, she was going to show him that they were perfect for each other. He walked forward and looked at her with a concerned look on her face.

"You alrig…" he started, but he didn't get a chance to finish. She leaned in and kissed him hard on the mouth, as if trying to suck all the passion out that she had craved for so long. He responded, slowly at first, and then more quickly, matching her kisses with a skill that at the back of her mind, she was surprised that Harry possessed. But then, finally, he pushed her away and looked her in the eyes.

"I'm not the one you want," he said, and she stepped back to see that it wasn't in fact Harry. Instead, it was the other boy, the boy from the past. But still, she leaned in again.

00000

A few dances later, and Lily's feet were truly starting to ache. She asked Malfoy if she could take a break, and he offered to go get drinks. She watched him leave, feeling grateful that he was letting her do whatever she wanted. A sudden lightness on her ear surprised her, and she reached up and noted with dismay that her earring was gone. Looking out at the dozens of dancing partners, she realized that it would be impossible to go out on the dance floor and look for it, but she remembered the time she had sat down with Malfoy near the Slytherins. Looking over there, she only saw Pansy Parkinson and Theodore Nott talking quietly at the table, so she quietly went around near the back, so they wouldn't see her. She was especially trying to avoid another confrontation with Pansy who had been shooting her dirty glances from her spot on the side ever since their conversation. Luckily, the two didn't notice her, and she was able to slip down to her knees to look under the table.

She saw something glittering near Pansy's foot and moved slowly under the table to try to get a closer look. However, the mention of her name caught her attention and drove all thoughts of her lost jewelry out of her mind. It was Pansy who was talking, and she sounded angry.

"Could someone please explain to me why Draco's hanging out with that mudblood Evans?" came the high pitched voice. Lily froze under the table, waiting to hear the response.

"Shh," Theodore Nott responded. "I'm sitting right here, so be quiet. Draco's not anxious for this to spread."

"For what to spread?" Pansy asked, quieter this time. "Listen, I know Draco. He's not doing this because he likes the bitch." Lily craned her head up, trying to hear Nott's answer.

"Of course not," Nott agreed. "It's stupid anyways. What Slytherin would pretend to like a Gryffindor just for revenge?"

"Revenge?" Pansy asked. "Against her little Gryffindor boyfriend?"

"No, against Harry," Nott clarified. "Imagine what he'll feel when his greatest enemy sleeps with his mother. It'll kill him or at least that's what Draco thinks."

"Humph," Pansy responded. "Seems like there's easier ways to get revenge."

"That's what I told him," Nott replied. "But I guess he was having too much fun with this. I can understand. She may be a mudblood, but I wouldn't mind shacking up with the girl myself."

"I don't know what anyone sees in her," Pansy sniffed. "She's too skinny, and her teeth are uneven."

"You're just jealous, Pansy," Nott said. "You know Malfoy hasn't looked at you twice since fourth year." Lily didn't wait around to hear her response. She didn't need to, let alone want to. It was easy to soundlessly make her way out from under the table. She even managed to hold in her tears till she reached the door of the Great Hall. Only there was she free to pull off her heels and run to Gryffindor tower where she was finally free to throw herself on her bed and sob into her pillow.

It was there that the rest of the girls found her when they returned at midnight. Even Hermione was bright eyed from the dance, as she had spent most of the evening not caring that Ron did the waltz wrong or that he kept stepping on her feet. She didn't want to admit it, but being in his arms had more than made up for his shortcomings. Parvarti and Lavender were busy comparing their dates and debating whether they wanted to go with them to the next Hogsmede weekend, an event that was swiftly approaching. Coming in the door, they saw Lily lying on her bed, still in the dress she had worn to the ball. Her hair lay tousled around her, and her eyes were red from crying, but finally in sleep, she looked as if she had found at least a little peace.

00000

When Ginny Weasley had first leaned in and started kissing him, James Potter responded as most guys would, by kissing her back. He had been walking through the gardens, eager for a chance to be away from the bright lights and crowded dance floor in the Great Hall which he found unusually stifling. He had danced a few dances with some of his Ravenclaw friends and saved Harry from a Hufflepuff girl who had tried to sneak something in his drink, but for some reason, he just hadn't been enjoying himself. He knew the root of the problem lay with a certain redhead who was off dancing with a certain Slytherin, and though he had spent most of the dance trying to avoid them, he had caught several glimpses of Lily, smiling as she danced in Malfoy's arms. So with a whisper to Harry to watch his future drinks, he had snuck out of the Great Hall for a walk around the gardens which were blissfully almost empty.

And it was then that he had seen her, the redheaded girl stumbling down the path with her hair half falling down from its former bun. For a second, he had almost thought it was Lily. In the darkness, all he could see was her pale face and red hair, and his heart had jolted, wondering what Malfoy had done to her. But then a closer glance revealed that it was Ginny, the girl Harry had been heartbroken over. He didn't really know her, though he had seen her a few times in the hallway. Still, he wasn't about to leave her all alone outside in such a state, and he figured he owed it to Harry to see if she was all right.

But then, she had kissed him, and for a second, he was able to pretend that it was Lily, to pretend that Lily had left Malfoy inside to come see him instead. It was as if they both wanted something, as if they were both trying to suck something out of the other that they desperately needed. Yet as the kiss grew more passionate, James realized that he couldn't do this. He wasn't kissing Lily, if anything, the strong taste of firewhiskey guaranteed that, and besides, this was Harry's girl, the girl James was sure that Harry had cried over when he thought everyone was asleep. He couldn't betray Harry like that. It would hurt the boy too badly.

He pushed her away, gently, though firmly. "I'm not the one you want," he said. He could tell that the kiss was meant for Harry instead, and probably in her drunk state, the girl even thought he was Harry. This knowledge made him feel even worse. He had been using a girl who thought she was declaring her passion for another boy, his son.

He had expected her to step back in surprise, to be embarrassed, or even to run away in shame. What he was not expecting was for her to lean in again, but that was exactly what she did. However, he wasn't going to fall into the trap again. He raised his hands and gently took her shoulders and pushed her back.

"I'm not Harry," he told her calmly. "Tell him tomorrow how you feel, but for now, you need to go up to Gryffindor tower, drink lots of water, and go to sleep." She nodded, and he was surprised when she burst into tears. He figured that she had had a long night.

Putting her arm around his neck, he supported her as they made their way back to Gryffindor tower. Luckily, they didn't see anyone, as James was not in the mood to explain things, and he realized that Ginny would get in a lot of trouble if she were found. Ginny threw up all over his shoes while he was trying to remember the password in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, but a quick Scourgify took care of that, and James figured that Harry wouldn't care if he ever found out. It was difficult to get Ginny into the portrait hole, but a few pushes and pulls finally got her, and Harry was able to bring her to the foot of the Gryffindor girls' dormitory.

"Sorry, I can only take you this far," he told her, remembering his and Sirius' multiple tries to make it up into the girls' dormitories. Ironically, in all their years at Hogwarts, that was the one task they had been unable to accomplish. Probably a good thing, James thought, though it would have been nice to be able to take the girl upstairs to her bedroom. He could see that she wasn't going to make it up, so he decided instead to lay her on a couch in the corner. He knew her friends would find her and that she would be all right. She probably wouldn't even remember what had happened between them in the morning. He hoped not. Now, that she realized what she really wanted, she could tell Harry and hopefully, they could get together, with Harry never the wiser.

It was a bit painful to realize that all his friends were slowly but surely getting together, but James wasn't about to give up hope for himself. If in one day, he could make out with Ginny Weasley and bring her upstairs without anyone noticing, there was nothing to prevent him from one day getting Lily Evans. All it would take was some hope and a whole lot of luck.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Here comes chapter twelve of the story, about a week and a day late. I apologize for the delay, especially since I won't be able to get the next chapter out for at least about a week and a half to two weeks. Though get excited for the next chapter, because it's a big plot one, and it'll definitely be a long one unless I divide it up into two chapters. Sadly, we're approaching the end of the story. I think its two thirds of the way done as of this chapter, and I'm definitely going to miss writing. Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 12

The day after the Yule Ball was a Sunday which was lucky for the students, most of whom didn't wake up till after noon. For the younger students, it was a chance to claim the best couches in the common room and to be loud without reprisal. For the older students, finally awakening brought on a sense of disappointment, as if the evening hadn't lived up to unreal expectations, and a sense of loss that there was little to look forward to besides a fast approaching winter. The seventh years felt especially that their one last chance at frivolity was gone. When Dumbledore had announced that the Yule Ball had been moved up, he had delivered the news calmly and assuredly, but the older students could still tell that there was something imminent approaching, even if they couldn't tell exactly what it was. Now that the fun was over, life seemed little but preparation for what could only be a final battle.

Hermione Granger felt the pressure immediately when she woke up at ten. She was the first to wake in the room, but she still felt disgusted with herself when she looked at the clock. She couldn't even remember the last time she had woken up so late, and she shuddered at the state of the room which was covered in dresses and empty makeup bags. She struggled to think of something she could do to make up for the lost time, perhaps write a paper or start a report, but she couldn't think of anything. Everything that could have possibly been finished the week before had been completed, and all her school books had been read with extensive notes written covering every topic. All that was left to do was to sit around, something she hated.

She got up and paced around the room, until she realized how much noise she was making in a room filled with three sleeping girls. She decided instead to go down to the common room where she might find a student who needed help with homework. It seemed useless to dress up for something like that, so she merely pulled on a sweater and some jeans and attempted to run a brush through her unruly hair, a task she soon gave up on. Giving the room a one last look, she exited to take the staircase downstairs.

The first thing she noticed upon entering the common room was that there was a commotion going on downstairs. Apparently, Ginny Weasley had been found that morning lying on a couch in the corner, smelling strongly of alcohol. Hermione heard the rumors going around as soon as she got to the bottom step, and she heard stories ranging from Ginny had been off having an affair with Professor Snape to a really strange one about how she was really a member of the Weird Sisters pretending to be a student. Hermione fought her way through the throngs of students till she reached Ginny. She wasn't really friends with the girl, but she felt a duty towards Ron to help his sister out.

"Listen," Hermione started, when she finally got to the couch and saw Ginny sprawled upon it with her hair lying tangled around her face. "This doesn't need to be a huge ordeal. I'm Head Girl, and I'll take care of it." The crowds began to murmur, but they soon dispersed, seeing as Hermione kept shooting them all disgruntled looks. When they were all gone, Hermione tried to pick Ginny up, but she found she couldn't support the younger girl. She was surprised by a familiar voice to the left.

"I didn't know what to do with her last night, so I left her here," Hermione turned to see James standing there with dark circles under his eyes. She looked at him in surprise.

"What were you doing with Ginny?" she asked suspiciously, wondering at the connection between the two. She didn't even think the two had even talked before.

"It's not what you think," James mumbled, clearly embarrassed. "I found her wandering through the gardens last night, really drunk. I helped her back to the common room, but since I couldn't get up to the girl's room, I left her here."

"Oh," Hermione responded, feeling somewhat abashed for her previous suspicions. "Well, then thanks. Ron will really appreciate that."

"Yeah," James continued. "About that. Do you really think we should let him know? It's his kid sister, and I don't think things will go over too well if he found out she was drinking last night and going around the gardens alone."

"Yeah," Hermione agreed. "Good point. I think I can get her up to the room where she can sleep it off if I can levitate her. But thanks again for helping."

"No problem," James said turning, as if to leave.

"And James," Hermione said before he left. "If you ever need to get up to the girl's dormitories, just say 'I solemnly swear that I am up to some good' and tap the wall. You should be able to get up then. It's a sort of fail safe."

"I'll remember that," he responded, and gave her a mock salute, as he made to head back to the boys' dormitories. "Oh, and Hermione, don't be too hard on Ron. He really likes you."

"I know," Hermione whispered as he left. She didn't know why she had given him the password allowing him access to the girls' dormitories. It wasn't like he was Neville who would never abuse it except under pain of death. Instead, he was James Potter who just a few weeks ago had been caught doing who knows what at a Ravenclaw party. She figured it was because she had felt grateful that he would do something so kind, and she could tell how much he did like Lily. She hoped she wouldn't regret her words, but in the back of her mind, she didn't think she would.

It would have been easy to look back at first year and say she had changed for the worst, abusing rules that she used to hold up as unbreakable laws. But she liked to see it as molding a personality that noted like Ron and Harry that there were more important things than rules like friendship and love that lasted far beyond the consequences for bending a few little arbitrarily set regulations.

00000

Lily woke up feeling groggy and confused. The first thing she noticed was that she was still wearing her dress from the ball and hadn't even borrowed to take off her shoes. It was strange considering that she usually would have put her things away. Sitting up in bed, she began to wonder what would have caused her to be so upset, and it was then that the memories hit her. She remembered every detail, from that Slytherin boy telling Pansy all about how Draco was using her to hurt Harry to Draco kissing her in front of the painting of the fat lady. She mentally kicked herself for that. How could she have let that bastard kiss her like that and how could she have ever trusted him? It wasn't like she hadn't seen the signs. Her friends had always been telling her how terrible he was, but she hadn't listened. Her friends . . .

But it was the thought of them that hurt her the most. She realized how often she had abandoned the others over the past few weeks to spend time with Malfoy. She had seen their hurt looks the first time she had decided to sit with him and had turned away in embarrassment. She couldn't believe she had left them for such an ass. Draco Malfoy had played her, she realized, and she had bought every one of his lines.

She looked down at the green dress she was wearing. What had looked so beautiful in the store only reminded her that she had sold her heart for a dress and a few charming words. She hated it, every stitch and every inch of expensive fabric. All of a sudden, she got the urge to tear it off and rip it to shreds, sending the pieces to him in a box. She wanted him to know how bad he had hurt her.

But despite her thoughts, she took the dress off carefully and laid it in her trunk. The practical side in her had won out again, as she realized that a much better response would be to wear it at a better time with a much better partner. The dress at least deserved that, she realized. It was still beautiful, and she knew she'd never have the opportunity to wear something so expensive ever again. But for now, it was back to a turtleneck and jeans to try to stave off the cold chill of the castle.

Looking around, she realized that all the beds were occupied except for the one that was Hermione's. It was little surprise that Hermione would be up. She didn't seem like one who would want to waste the day, even after staying up late for a dance. Lily suddenly got a craving to find the other girl and tell her everything and see if she'd take her back as a friend. She hoped she would. She hoped they all would.

It was a simple walk to the library from the Gryffindor tower. It would have taken ten minutes tops if Lily hadn't bumped into the person she least wanted to see. But karma has a way of backfiring, and it was near the front doors that she saw Draco Malfoy himself leaning against the wall looking perfect as usual in crisp black pants and a collared shirt. While hating him, she envied him for his spotlessness and his charm. Even with the knowledge that he had betrayed her, she still found him attractive.

He saw her almost immediately, and Lily watched as he straightened up. She had half a mind to walk by without noting his presence, but she realized that he had no idea that she knew his plans. She needed to resolve things now without putting off the confrontation till later. She opened up her mouth to speak, unsure of what she was going to say, but was silenced when he spoke first.

"I missed you at the ball last night," he started. "You disappeared halfway through, and I couldn't find you." She tried to speak again, but he continued talking.

"Relax," he said smiling. "Don't look so upset. I'm not mad, just worried. But I have some news that will cheer you up. My parents have invited me home for tonight and tomorrow. It appears they've heard about you, and they want to meet you."

Lily wanted to attack him right then and there, but instead what came out was, "Do they know I'm a muggleborn?"

"They might have an inkling," Malfoy said looking shiftily down at the floor. "But it's not something I would bring up voluntarily, but what my parents think isn't important right now. What's important is this," he continued, putting his arm around her shoulders. She fought the urge to snuggle in closer on his shoulder. Her thoughts were in conflict. She hated to admit it, but she still had feelings for the boy, even if he had betrayed her. She was angry at herself for liking what he was doing. She was angry at herself for not yelling at him. It was easy to blame herself for being anticonfrontational, especially since she knew she was letting him walk all over her.

"Draco, last night . . ." she started, but he held up a hand to stop her.

"I told you. It doesn't matter what happened," he told her. "What happens is right now. So go pack your bags. The coach is coming to pick us up at noon."

"So soon?" she asked.

"I figured the more alone time we had, the better," he answered and removed his arm from around her shoulders. "We need to pick up from where we left off last night."

Lily cursed herself as he walked away. Why hadn't she said anything? Why was she so scared? But as she thought about the situation, maybe this was the best way. It was clear why he was inviting her over. He was trying to fulfill the end of his plan, to sleep with her and completely to destroy any thoughts of decency that she believed he might possess.

But maybe in the midst of all that evil, she could gain something. She realized that probably none of the other Gryffindors or even Dumbledore had probably been to Malfoy Manor. By going in invited, she might stand a chance of learning something that could help them in their fight against Voldemort. She might actually do something to help, which stung her a bit, as she realized that for the entire time she had been in the future, she had done nothing to help the cause. Now might be her chance allowing her to finally atone for all the mistakes she had made.

It was with grim determination that she made her way back to the Gryffindor girls' dormitories. It was only when she started packing that she felt her eyes fill with tears. She was ashamed to cry and tried to tell herself to stop, but it was no use. She didn't want to admit that she was afraid, afraid both of what she might find at Malfoy Manor and afraid of what Malfoy might do to her.

But as she folded shirts and pants, she realized that bravery didn't mean that fears completely disappeared. Bravery came with facing danger without giving up when things got difficult. The realization didn't make things better, but it did give her hope that she could succeed, even when her life seemed like it was quickly approaching disaster.

00000

After making sure that Ginny was alright, James had felt perfectly justified in going back to sleep. But now that it was approaching noon, and he could no longer endure the sun shining directly on his face from the tower window, he figured that waking up would probably the best option. Unsurprisingly, the other boys were still asleep. James was especially glad to see that Harry had not woken up, because he didn't want him to hear to talk about Ginny that he was sure was still going around the common room.

It was for Harry's sake that he had gone down to the common room to see that the girl was alright, that and a common sense of decency that made him feel that he couldn't leave her there unattended. He had been glad that Hermione had been there. Though he often felt that the girl looked down on him a bit, he knew that she was one of the best people to have with you in a pinch, and she certainly wasn't one for gossip.

He just wondered if Ginny would ever remember what happened the night before. Hopefully, by that time he would be safely back in the past where the knowledge couldn't hurt him. There was a small part of him that wanted to tell Harry the truth, but he quelled it for a moment, wanting to push off the sense of responsibility that seemed to be looming more and more in his life. Besides, what Harry didn't know couldn't hurt him.

He decided instead that he would concern his thoughts with the day, living in the present as people tended to say, and slid out of bed. Finding a pair of jeans and a white tee shirt in Harry's trunk, he pulled them on and didn't even attempt to comb out his hair, as he left the room. He suddenly had the urge to run around the school even though he knew that weather outside was near freezing. It was a day with potential, bursting with the promise of prospective activities and fun. Feeling the first pangs of hunger, he decided to run down to the Great Hall and see if there were some remains left from breakfast.

He took a roundabout way through the castle, but that didn't stop him from seeing Lily near the Great Hall as she pulled along a rather large trunk. He was confused at first. He hadn't heard anything about Lily going on a trip, but then again, he didn't hear much from Lily anymore anyways. She looked somewhat tired, and her hair fell down her shoulders without the usual ponytail holding it up. He was at first wary to talk to her, unsure if she would appreciate the gesture, but his curiosity got the best of him, and the hope from last night gave him courage.

"Lily," he called out, and she turned around, unsure of who was talking. A smile lit up her face, which was soon replaced by a more somber expression. James hoped it wasn't the sight of him that made her look bleak, but he was reassured when she left her trunk and walked over.

"James," she said. It was the look on her face that made James pause. She looked almost sorry. "About the past few weeks, I never meant to hurt all of you like that."

"Lily, what are you talking about?" James asked, seriously confused. She was almost acting like she wasn't going to see him again. "Hurt us?"

"I didn't see what was in front of me," she managed a smile. "I didn't understand how great you all were. I didn't realize that you were right about Malfoy."

"What did he do to you?" James asked, realizing instantly that her strange behavior was stemming from a problem with Malfoy. He was grateful that Lily had realized the truth, but he didn't know what the cost of this knowledge was, and he was scared. "I'll kill that bastard if he tried to hurt you."

"It doesn't matter," Lily said softly.

"The hell it does," James responded coming closer to her and wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She allowed him to walk her over to the wall, and they sat against the wall together, with her head resting gently against his shoulder.

"He played me, James," she responded, her voice almost a whisper. "He was only going out with me to hurt Harry."

"That bastard," he responded. "But you don't have to run away," he said motioning to the trunk which lay abandoned a few feet away. "You have us, I promise."

"I'm not running away," Lily answered. "I'm going with _him_."

"You're what?" James asked in surprise. "You're joking right?" But as soon as he said that, he knew that she wasn't.

"He invited me home," she responded. "I figure that it's the best opportunity for us to see his house and . . ."

"Lily," James interrupted aghast. "You can't just walk into Malfoy Manor with the boy incarnate of evil."

"But I can," Lily argued. "I need to take this chance. We came to the future to help, and I've done nothing this whole time but flirt with a boy clearly connected with the Dark side. I'm not going to sit around and watch everyone else fight." James nodded.

"I understand," he said after a few seconds, and she looked back at him, almost shocked.

"You do?" she asked.

"Yeah," he agreed. "I'm getting sick of sitting around here too, waiting for things to blow up. I can't stop you from going, and I'm not going to make you feel miserable about it either. But Lily, that doesn't mean I'm not going to worry about you. Take care of yourself." She smiled back.

"I will," she said. "I snuck some pepper spray out of Hermione's trunk."

"Pepper what?" James said, confused. Lily laughed and wiped a tear that was starting to form out of her eye.

"It's a muggle thing. You spray it in someone's eyes if they're attacking you," she responded.

"Malfoy's going to attack . . .? James started, but Lily pulled herself up before he could finish.

"I'm going to be fine," she tried to reassure him. "I promise."

"Well, keep that pepper stuff on you," James said. "But please don't kill him. Leave at least part of him alive, so I can beat the shit out of what's rest of him." Lily rolled her eyes but smiled.

"See you around James Potter," she responded and he nodded.

"Bye Lily," he said, as he watched her leave. She grabbed her trunk and continued her way down the hallway. He would have helped her with it, but he didn't think she wanted the help. It was hard to see her go off like that, into a house clearly filled with danger, without any of his help. He would give anything to go with her, but he knew that she felt she had to do this.

He had felt the same way when he had gone into the tunnel years ago to save Snape from Lupin, and he would have refused any help offered. He figured that this was Lily's time to save what little she could of the world, and he wasn't going to stop her. He just hoped she knew what she was doing.

00000

Lily stood gratefully besides the large black coach, as Malfoy handed her trunk to the driver who stowed it carefully in the back. She was shivering slightly, but it wasn't from the cold. Still, she allowed Malfoy to take her hand and help her into the large plush interior. It was a coach meant for a princess, and if Lily had been in any other situation, she would have admired the intricate design on the seat cover as well as the green accents around the edge of the coach. But this was no time for admiration; she knew she had a job to do, and distractions were only going to make the task harder. She turned to Malfoy and forced herself to distance herself mentally from the boy she had kissed the night before. That boy was gone leaving this manipulator who had no feelings whatsoever for her.

He leaned forward and gave her a brief kiss on the neck before the carriage began to make its way towards the Hogwarts gates. His blond hair tickled her neck, and she tried not to think of the softness of his lips.

"I'm so glad you could come," he whispered in her ear, his voice a soft purr.

"So am I," she agreed. "So am I."

The carriage made its way through the hills surrounding Hogwarts, and the clatter of the wheels soon formed a rhythm that merely hinted at things to come. There was a silence that came more from the earth than from anything else. With the birds gone and the absence of wind, Lily couldn't help thinking how stagnant everything felt. But change was coming, and from what direction, she couldn't tell.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Chapter thirteen's finally here! I was looking at my reviews for last chapter, and I noticed someone commenting on how they were upset that Lily still had feelings for Malfoy. I'm going to get more into that in this chapter, but for me, I wanted to show how Lily feels conflicted about him, because he still acts quite charming around her. If you look closer, you can see that it's only when she's with him that she's really attracted to him, while she is able to cool her emotions and look at him more critically when they are apart. I know a lot of people are really excited for Lily and James to get together, but I think Lily has a bit to go before she realizes how much she needs James. Though, I really appreciate that you all are bearing with me, because I know that Lily and Malfoy are a really strange couple, but I thought that dating him would really emphasize to Lily what she truly wants, plus it also has a lot to do with why they're there in the first place.**

Chapter 13

The long paved road leading up to Malfoy Manor ran through a small village that lay at the edge of the property. The villagers who had built their lives there had grown up under the shadow of the Malfoys and survived by making little trouble and sending food and other supplies periodically up to the manor. They had never been paid for their services, but they understood that their lives would most likely be the price of an outcry. As a result, the village was a gloomy one, and the villagers often scuttled away whenever an unfamiliar coach approached. There was something about these dark black coaches that were always coming down the lane that gave them pause and forced them to remember the evil that lived so close by. One might have asked why they didn't all pack up and leave, but the fact was that this was their home, and they knew nothing else.

It was through this bleak village that the black coach carrying Malfoy and Lily drove through, and even Lily shuddered when she looked out the window at the closed draperies and the boarded up windows. Sensing the darkness, she quickly closed the curtains and turned to look at Malfoy who was lounging on the other side of the carriage with his arm over the top of the seat. His eyes were closed in the midst of a nap, and his normally perfectly combed hair was standing up in places where it rubbed against the back of the seat. He looked so helpless and childlike that Lily felt her previous fear begin to melt away. It was difficult to be frightened when the object of your fear looked so innocent.

A sudden jolt in the coach startled Malfoy out of his nap, and he looked around wildly. Lily wondered at his terror and wondered where the frightened impulse had come from, though she didn't mention it. He wiped his eyes as soon as he calmed down and looked at her.

"Enjoying the trip?" he asked. "I'm afraid I haven't been much entertainment." He smiled ruefully, and Lily found herself warming to the boy, even though she still didn't trust him.

"The trip's fine," she returned. "But the scenery's a bit disappointing." He frowned and looked out the window.

"Oh," he nodded in understanding. "Malfoy Park. They don't really appreciate my family even though we allow them to live on our property. The town definitely leaves something to be desired, but my father still allows it to continue."

"You have your own town?" Lily asked in surprise, never completely realizing the extent of the boy's wealth. No wonder so many people had seemed jealous of her, especially Pansy Parkinson. They were probably after his money. The thought made her a bit sad, but she quenched the feelings quickly.

"Uh huh," Malfoy yawned. "Though it really isn't that impressive. My father's looking at islands off the coast of Ireland, but it's difficult to get the right papers together." Lily wondered how much money you'd need to buy an island. It was certainly more than she'd ever have in her life, and she wondered if Malfoy even realized how amazingly lucky he was.

"An island, really?" she asked, arching an eyebrow. "And what would you do there?"

"Sleep all day in the sun, roast meat in the fire, find ways to torture first-years," he grinned. "Live the life."

"Sounds peaceful," Lily murmured. "You sure you want that kind of life?"

"Maybe," Malfoy said pensively, and Lily realized she was seeing a far more honest side of Malfoy than she had ever seen before. She wondered if it was because he had just woken up and wasn't trying to present a cool and collected front to the world, or if it was because few people ever really asked him what he truly wanted. "I'd get bored now and then, but I think it'd be worth it."

"I always wanted to go to America," she admitted, opening up despite her qualms about the boy. "See the world."

"The world's a big place," he responded. "You sure you're ready for it?"

"Yeah," she answered. "I just don't think I'll get the chance."

"Because you die?" he asked, for the first time bringing up that fact that haunted Lily every time she thought about it.

"Because I die," she repeated slowly.

They rode in silence for the rest of the trip, though it was a comfortable silence, with each resting against the side of the coach thinking about the future. Though the thought of her death was overwhelmingly frightening, it did give Lily hope that she would survive the time she had here, no matter what befell her. She was also grateful that Malfoy wasn't afraid to bring that up. So many other people she met tried to skirt the issue, as if they thought they could wish it away, but it was a breath of fresh air for someone to admit it without apologizing profusely after the fact.

She was finding herself worrying less and less as the trip went on especially since Malfoy looked so peaceful as he stared out the window with a thoughtful expression on his face. She had been so quick to agree with Pansy and Nott yesterday when she had heard them talking, but she had never asked him the truth. A part of her just couldn't believe he would do something like that, even though she had been so sure the night before. This boy so intent on watching the world around him wouldn't hurt her like that, she thought. He just couldn't. A part of her chided herself for being so easily convinced of his innocence after such overwhelming evidence that she'd been played, but she tried to repress those thoughts and concentrate on the Malfoy she had loved before.

They arrived at the manor about a half an hour later, and a servant came to open the gate. Lily had been expecting a mansion, but she was still surprised at the giant marble behemoth rising up over the hill. To call it huge would be an understatement, and she assumed that there must be over fifty rooms in the place. Massive gardens could be seen peeking out from behind the back, and she got the sudden urge to go explore and immerse herself in such a strange, but at the same time fascinating, wonderland.

At the front door, another servant opened the door, and Malfoy allowed her to step out first. She straightened her clothes and watched him descend, envying the way he seemed to belong in the lush environment. He did a mock bow and stretched out his arm to the house.

"Welcome to the Manor," he smirked, and Lily figured that he had regained his composure now that he was at home and was no longer the sincere, almost frank boy he had been in the coach. She rolled her eyes, not exactly sure what to make of his antics but was surprised when she saw that their coach was not the only one in front of the house. A line of ten or so other coaches made a straight line down the drive, all as black as the one before it. She frowned, wondering if she were in more danger than she had originally thought.

"Who do all those carriages belong to?" she asked, and he straightened up, following her gaze.

"Just friends of my father," he responded. "They won't bother us, but I wouldn't suggest bringing up your heritage."

"Or my name?" she pressed.

"Or your name," he admitted. "Elizabeth King might serve you better." Lily nodded, recognizing the last name of a long string of pureblooded wizards. "You're not offended?" he asked.

"My survival instincts are much stronger than my ancestral pride," she joked, even though she knew it was more serious than both of them were letting on. She would be Elizabeth King for now.

They entered the foyer first, which was easily the size of Lily's old house back in London. A magnificent chandelier hung on the ceiling, casting rainbows around the room and bathing the room in light. Lily felt her feet sink into a lush carpet, and she gazed in awe at the paintings covering the walls. She was certain that many of them were by old masters, and she longed to go look at them more closely as well as to investigate the many doors that branched off of the room. But instead, Malfoy took her up a elaborate wooden staircase, while a house elf walked behind them, carrying her trunk.

The room they entered at the top of the stairs was outfitted and green and silver and Lily recognized it immediately as Draco's bedroom. She felt a jolt of fear when the house elf deposited her trunk in the corner and thought back to the conversation heard the night before. But perhaps it was a mistake. Maybe the house elf wasn't sure what room to put her in and had deposited the trunk in here for mere convenience.

"Where will I be staying?" she asked casually, and Malfoy looked at her in surprise.

"What do you mean?" he asked, and she inwardly grimaced.

"I don't know if I'm ready for this," she said looking around at the room and the impeccably neat chest of drawers and bed. "I mean, we've barely kissed . . ." she muttered, hoping that he wouldn't see her blush.

"Oh," Malfoy responded. "Then what you said about continuing where we left off . . .?" he asked.

"I was thinking of activities where we keep our clothes on," Lily answered, looking down, sure that her face was bright red by now. That conversation had seemed so long ago. Back then, she had been completely in love and not doubting him the way she did now. "Another room might be nice." He nodded slowly, though he frowned.

"Dinky," he snapped his finger, and the house elf instantly appeared. "Take Ms. King's belongings to the blue room." The house elf quickly nodded and disappeared with her trunk.

"I'm sorry," Lily faltered, feeling like she needed to apologize, thought she knew that she had done nothing wrong.

"Don't worry about it," Malfoy sighed, though he looked a bit put out. Lily felt the tension growing, and she wanted to move on to another subject, so walked over to the window overlooking the magnificent gardens.

"Why don't you show me around?" she asked. "It's so beautiful back there." Malfoy acquiesced, and he led the way downstairs. Lily hoped he'd forget their earlier conversation. There were only so many reasons as to why he'd want her staying in his room, and most of them eerily echoed what she'd heard at the dance the night before. She wanted to trust the boy, but as time went on, despite her best wishes to the opposite effect, the evidence was growing and growing that his intentions were less than honorable.

She might want him to be the sweet boy she had seen in the carriage who dreamed about the future and was interested in what she had to say, but she also had to acknowledge that there was a much darker side to him that he tried to keep hidden. She had been able to fully accept that yesterday when she had been free of his presence, but she needed the clarity of mind to accept it again even when he tried to be charming.

Walking out into the gardens, she took a glance at his receding figure. It was tall, statuesque, and handsome, everything she admired on the outside. But what really mattered was what was brewing under all the soft blond hair and that was what disturbed her. Did he really want to sleep with her, and if so, was it because he liked her or because he truly did want to hurt Harry? That was the question, and Lily knew it could only be answered in one way. She hoped she'd never have to find out.

00000

Alone in the common room, James paced back and forth across the room. His earlier calm and stability had dissipated as soon as he had seen Lily's coach disappear down the road from an upstairs window, leaving him restless and agitated. A part of him knew that this was Lily's decision and he had to let her go, while the more protective side of him longed to do something to help her out. The thing really bothering him was that he felt so helpless. He was the only one who knew she was gone, and yet, he could do nothing. His heart twinged when he thought of how scared she had looked that morning.

He realized now that he couldn't wait anymore. He needed to tell Lily exactly how he felt as soon as she returned. He didn't care if she still felt he was the heartless git he had been the year before or if she laughed in his face. He just needed to tell her the truth and show that he wasn't going to use her like that bastard Malfoy.

He heard the creak of the stairs and stopped pacing in time to see Ginny Weasley come down the stairs. Her long red hair flowed untied down her back, and she'd thrown a light blue tee shirt on over some jeans. A slight blush appeared on her face when she saw him, yet she still walked over and stood a comfortable distance away from him.

"Hey," she began, running a hand through her hair.

"Hey," James replied, wondering if she remembered that he had been the one to bring her in last night. "You feeling alright?"

"Not yet," she grinned ruefully. "I've got a killer headache, but I guess I just wanted to thank you for what you did last night. I know you probably did it for Harry, but it still means a lot to me."

"Don't worry about it," James responded, feeling like he wasn't completely deserving of her praise. "We Gryffindors have to stick together."

"Yeah, it's after things like this that you realize why you should probably stick to dating people in your house," Ginny remarked, and James felt another pang inside, remembering another Gryffindor who had been plagued with the same problem.

"They do tend to be more reliable," James admitted. "And secrets don't last very long here."

"Yeah," Ginny said wistfully. "It's just kind of funny. I know everyone's talking about me, but maybe it does take a pint of alcohol to show you what you really want."

"You mean Harry?" James asked.

"Yeah," Ginny answered. "I don't know why I'm telling you this, except for the fact that you look about as stressed as I should be right now, but I turned Harry down. It was a chance I'd been waiting for my entire life, but I told him that Michael Corner had asked me first, and he walked away. The thing is that this whole situation is so stupid. I could have just told Michael to find another date, but I think a part of me was angry that it had taken Harry so long to see me as an actual girl. I didn't understand what a mistake it was till I got back to my dorm and realized I'd passed up the best guy in the world for a pathetic womanizer." A sad smile played at the corner of her lips, as she looked up at James. "You probably think I'm crazy, don't you?"

"Not really," James responded. "But then again, if I'd gotten that chance, I don't think I would have passed it up."

"So there's a girl for you?" Ginny asked.

"A girl who's off putting herself in danger for a cause that I've sat around and ignored for the past few weeks," James answered. "She doesn't even know how I feel about her."

"She can't know till you tell her," Ginny told him before grinning. "Plus, you're a good kisser. She won't need much convincing." He smiled in spite of himself.

"That good, huh?" he asked with a somewhat mischievous expression reflected across his face.

"Don't get too cocky, but I'd take you over Michael Corner any day," Ginny responded.

"But not Harry?" James said.

"Not Harry," Ginny mused. "He's one of a kind."

"You know, you weren't bad yourself," James responded.

"But not as good as your dream girl?" Ginny asked.

"Nah," James returned. "But she's kind of hard to beat."

00000

The walk through the gardens took Lily and Malfoy over two hours, so by the time they returned to the manor, it was time for dinner. Lily was a bit perturbed, as this would be the first time she would meet the elder Malfoys since she had met them as a girl at school. A bit of her was terrified that they might recognize her, but a more rational side of her brain reminded her that the Malfoys would never expect their son to bring a muggleborn home, particularly one from the past. She had almost forgotten the other visitors there until she saw them milling around near the dining room, as she walked over there with Malfoy.

All associations aside, they were definitely a nefarious bunch. Most of them were dressed all in black, and their faces were a pale sickly color that reflected a life spent mostly out of the sunlight. Several of them had long greasy hair, and they all turned when she and Malfoy came into the room.

They all looked confused as to who she could be until a flash of remembrance passed through the eyes of a man on the right. Lily recognized him instantly as Rookwood, the man she had Malfoy had met on the way back from Hogsmede.

"Brought your little girlfriend home, have you Draco?" Rookwood leered, and Lily felt herself physically draw back in repulsion. Malfoy frowned at the man and sent him a scathing look.

"Rookwood, just because you repulse women like you do shampoo doesn't give you the right to talk that way to me or anyone in my home," Malfoy responded coldly, and Rookwood's face contorted in anger.

"As cocky as ever, you little bastard," he returned. "If the Dark Lord didn't think you showed any promise, you wouldn't get away with talk like that."

"If the Dark Lord thought you showed any progress, you wouldn't have to make empty threats," Malfoy responded. "Let's go, Elizabeth, this man isn't worth the stone he's standing on." It took Lily a few seconds to realize he was talking to her, and he took her hand as if to pull her into the other room.

"Lily, come on," he whispered in her ear. "This is not a man you want to be near." Lily personally agreed fully and let him draw her into the much smaller and more intimate dining room where the elder Malfoys were sitting. She was still a bit stunned as to the bitterness he had heard in his voice. It was hard to believe that the same boy who had just whispered in her ear had just spewed out insults at the man who was still standing in the other room. It was such a dynamic change of personality, and while she had seen it before, it had never been with the knowledge of his darker side. She'd have to learn to be more careful to not be convinced by the whispered niceties. They were probably as much of an act as this whole façade, but it was just so easy to forget they weren't.

The first thing Lily saw upon entering the dining room was the cold gray steel of Lucius Malfoy's eyes, and she almost took a step back before she realized what she was doing. While Lucius had graduated when Lily was still in her early years at Hogwarts, Lily had never forgotten the evil that seemed to lurk beneath his perfectly arranged exterior. He was never obviously nasty, a whispered comment here or a subtle trap there, but he knew how to hurt people, and he seemed to lack a conscience to keep his wand in check. Now, with him staring across the table at her as an older man, Lily still felt the same fear that she remembered from seeing him in the hallways of the Hogwarts of her youth. But she knew she couldn't let that fear show, not when she was supposed to be Elizabeth King, pureblood descendant of an untainted line.

It was Narcissa Malfoy who first broke the silence. Lily hadn't even noticed her at first. She was beautiful in a faded way with long blonde hair that showed subtle streaks of white and gray eyes that matched her son's.

"Welcome to our home," Narcissa smiled. "Draco told us he had a new girlfriend, and we knew we just had to meet you." Lily tried to smile back, but the sight of Lucius's face out of the corner of her eye still frightened her.

"It's really nice to meet you," she managed to get out. "Your home is beautiful."

"We make do with what we have," Narcissa responded modestly. "It does get a bit crowded with all these people around though. I do wish my husband would have these meetings somewhere else." Lucius frowned at this.

"Narcissa, we do what we can for the cause," he said smoothly. "Now, I don't believe Draco has told us your name. You are?"

"Elizabeth King," Lily managed to breathe. "Just transferred in from Beauxbatons," she continued, figuring that Lucius would probably know all the students in Draco's year from Hogwarts. She noticed that Malfoy gave her an appreciatory glance.

"And tell me what house you're in, my dear," Lucius continued, and Lily knew his pleasantries were only a surface gesture. There was a threat in there that implied that only one house would be satisfactory.

"Slytherin, of course," she responded, feeling traitorous as she did. It was as if she was turning her back on all she stood for by talking with these people, but she had no choice. "It's how I met Draco."

"He certainly has fine tastes," Lucius replied giving her a one-over that made Lily feel even more uncomfortable. "But you remind me of someone I once knew. Though her background was not quite as impeccable as yours was." Lily held her breath, hoping that he wouldn't guess the truth.

"I'm told that all the time," she said, trying to force out a nervous laugh. "Some people think all redheads look alike."

"Hmm…" Lucius murmured. "Perhaps. But Draco, don't be rude. Pull up a seat for your beautiful date." Lily looked over and noticed that Malfoy had been silent and unmoving the entire time, though he leapt into action when his father called him out and pulled her chair out.

"Forgive me my rudeness," Malfoy said, as he allowed her to sit. Looking in his eyes, she saw something that almost approached fear, though there was a sparkle of amusement as well. She slid into the seat and allowed him to push it in behind her. He sat down beside her, and she was grateful that he had taken the seat opposite Lucius allowing her the one across from Narcissa.

"So tell us how you met," Narcissa exclaimed as soon as they had sat down. "Draco's quite the romantic if you get to know him."

"It was at the first Potions class," Malfoy said smoothly. "Snape recognized there was another student with aptitude and matched us together."

"Ah, so she's not like your usual idiotic whores," Lucius responded, and Narcissa looked at him sharply. "I was surprised some of them could even manage a simple transfiguration."

"Elizabeth's near the top of our class," Malfoy answered. "I wouldn't worry about a lack of intelligence."

"Good," Lucius replied. "I was beginning to worry that you'd end up with someone not worthy of the Malfoy name. You do realize that you have to start looking for someone to help you carry on the line. I'm glad you're bringing home more realistic choices." Just sitting there, Lily was beginning to feel more and more awkward. How many other girls had Malfoy brought home in the first place? And was Lucius seriously implying that they would make a good married couple. That was absurd, especially considering that she wasn't the girl he thought she was.

"I still have plenty of time, father," Malfoy told him, and Lily could tell that he felt uncomfortable with the subject as well. Figures, she thought. He might be ready to sleep with me, but marrying a muggle born would be off his radar.

Narcissa seemed to notice too that the two teenagers were tensing up, and Lily sighed in relief when the older woman motioned towards the food.

"All this talk of Draco marrying is making me feel old," she said. "Please, let's eat and find a more agreeable topic." Malfoy visibly relaxed at this, and Lily was grateful when they started to pass the food around. A few seconds later, a house elf appeared with a bottle of wine and poured out glasses for each of them. Lily had had a few sips of wine before on holidays with her parents, but she'd never had anything approaching a glassful, and she was surprised to see the Malfoys sipping it like it was water. Malfoy especially seemed to enjoy the alcohol, and he had his glass refilled twice before he'd even made it to the main course.

Lily didn't feel comfortable drinking so much surrounded by the Malfoys and using a name that she was scared she'd forget, so she drank only half the glass and concentrated mostly on the delicious assortment of meat and vegetables that she found in front of her.

The Malfoys bantered on about life at the manor and pieces of gossip that had occurred in the last week or so, and Lily found herself feeling more and more out of place as she heard stories about people and places that she didn't even know existed.

She wondered if Narcissa had felt the same way when she had married Lucius. Probably not, she figured. She would have had to come from a long line of purebloods with impeccable tastes. All three Malfoys seemed to belong together in a ring of connectedness that made her long for her family that was still trapped in the past. She even missed Petunia who had always been so jealous of her time at Hogwarts.

She thought back to James who was her only remnant left of the distant past. She had told him that she needed to do this alone when she had left, but she found herself wishing he could be here, backing her up. It was almost funny. She hadn't thought of him at all back when she and Malfoy had been happy together, but sitting here, feeling like an outsider, she really wished she could have brought him along.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: It's been an odd updating schedule recently, I realize, and I have to blame my internship for that. I'm still glad I could get this chapter out before next week, and I hope you like it. It's definitely one of my favorites, though it was hard to write, and I'm not sure I'm completely satisfied with the Lily/Malfoy scene. These characters have become really close to me, and while I realize that their actions might differ a bit from the typical canon, I hope that they make sense within the greater context of everything. Thank you once again for reading, and please review. **

Chapter 14

Dinner had always been a long drawn out affair in the Malfoy household, and it had become unusual for a meal to end before at least an hour had passed. Unused to this, Lily sat at the table and watched as trays and trays of food were brought in by subservient elves, some of which were barely touched. It was enough to make her cringe at the wastefulness and excess being displayed, though she had to admit that she was being a bit hypocritical, as she was enjoying the Greek salad that had just been carried in by an especially old looking house elf that Lucius referred to as Minky.

It was definitely an unusual event, dining with the Malfoys. It would be easy for her to say that she hated it, being forced to make up facts about a school she didn't know anything about and having to listen to pureblood propaganda, but there was a certain elegance in the way Narcissa handled herself and guided the conversation whenever the talk started to flag. It was clear that she could hold her own next to her husband, even though he was clearly the external face of the Malfoy family. Unfortunately, she seemed very interested in Beauxbatons, which forced Lily to think up even more convincing answers to questions that kept getting more and more challenging.

"So, Elizabeth, I hear that some of the students have rebelled against the uniform. What do you feel about that?" was the newest inquiry, and Lily forced herself to come up with some plausible opinion that would not be too offensive.

"It's not something I outright support," she started. "But I do feel that it might give students a sense of independence to have more freedom in dress." It was a decent answer, Lily figured. Not too confrontational or opinionated, but she still saw Narcissa purse her lips in distaste.

"Uniforms have been a part of education for years, and I don't see why children nowadays view them as so outmoded," Narcissa responded. "There's plenty of time for independence later on in life. Why aren't people satisfied to enjoy their youth?"

"Because they're growing up in a hostile time without suitable authority," Lucius inserted. He had been twirling his fork around before, but seemed to feel the need to speak. "Things will be different in the future."

"Different?" Lily asked, curious. "How so?"

"You obviously have been insulated against the cause off in France," Lucius responded. "I speak of the Dark Lord's return." Lily leaned forward. This was exactly what she was here to learn about, and she hoped Lucius would say more.

"I have heard of him, yes," Lily said. "He seems very opinionated."

"Opinionated, yes," Lucius replied. "But the difference is that he is able to back his opinions up with power not like the weaklings we have in office right now. When the Dark Lord is done, we will have no need for public offices, and muggles will learn their place." As your servants, Lily thought. He was truly a monster, looking out for his best interests while ignoring the rights of others, but she was not here to stand up for her cause.

"But how will he regain this power?" Lily asked, cautiously, waiting for Lucius to let some information slip. "Things seem so stable now."

"Father, let's not bore our guest with political talk," Malfoy cut in. He was sprawled against the back of his chair, and his voice sounded slurred with the influence of alcohol. Lily resisted the urge to yell at him for messing everything up and instead made herself more comfortable in the huge dining room chair.

"Draco's right," Narcissa responded. "Such things are better discussed at a different time. Now, have you heard of Professor Banks?"

"Mother," Draco responded, pulling himself up off the chair. "Let L..Elizabeth and I go upstairs or we'll be here all night while you ramble on about Beauxbatons and how wonderful it is." Narcissa gave him a look, that he ignored, but she nodded.

"Perhaps it's best that you two go off on your own," she sighed. "But do try and get some sleep. You'll both be back to school tomorrow."

"Of course, mother," Draco replied curtly.

"Good night," Narcissa waved to Lily, and Lucius gave her a raised hand in acknowledgement.

"Good night," Lily responded, giving her a half-hearted wave. "Dinner was wonderful." She then allowed herself to follow Draco up to his room where she hoped he would give her instructions as to how to find her own. She soon discovered that that didn't seem to be his intention, as he promptly shut the door as soon as they had entered.

"At last, we can get some privacy," he muttered, and though he seemed a bit more control of himself than he had been at dinner, she could still smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Draco, I think it might be best if we get some sleep," Lily responded carefully, realizing how dangerous he seemed now.

"The night's young," he replied. "I thought you wanted there to be something between us."

"Yes, but not when you're like this," Lily said, not really caring what she was saying anymore as long as she didn't make him angry. "You're not in control of yourself."

"I am in control," he told her. "I know exactly what I want." He took a step closer to her, and she took a step back. "What are you afraid of?" he asked.

"You," she said quietly, and he laughed.

"You're afraid of me?" he asked. "Maybe you should be afraid of yourself. Did you hear yourself down there, fitting in perfectly with my parents? I couldn't even tell the difference between you and my mother."

"It was an act," Lily responded, raising her voice, unsure of why he was goading her on. "An act that you told me I should play. You think I liked being down there with them? Your father's a murderer, and he's devoting himself to a cause that tortures people from my background."

"People that don't deserve respect," Malfoy muttered, and Lily felt her temper rise.

"Then why am I here?" she asked. "Why did you ever invite me to this place if you hate muggle borns so much? I'm one of them," she almost yelled.

"And yet you parade yourself around with the Slytherins," Malfoy noted. "You reject your halfblood and mudblood friends to go out with me."

"You don't know what you're talking about," Lily said quietly, but deep inside, she knew he was right. She had rejected her heritage and for what? This poisonous house, and this boy who for all his evil knew her too well.

"But I do," he said, and she noticed that he had come much closer as they had been talking. "And I know that right now, I'm the only one you've got."

"You're wrong," she whispered. Somewhere back at Hogwarts, James was waiting for her. He had to be. She didn't even realize what was happening till Malfoy's lips crashed down on hers, and she was taken up in a whirlwind of emotion and need. It was a violent kiss, far more so than the one the night before where she could sense the tenderness and warmth being expressed. Rather, this one was born of control, and she struggled to free herself, though she knew she was being overwhelmed by his power. She didn't even notice they had reached the bed till her legs hit against it, and she fell onto the duvet with Malfoy hungrily kissing her neck on top of her.

"Stop," she said quietly, but she doubted he could hear her. She could barely hear herself. There was a ringing in her ears that she knew wasn't coming from any outside source. She wished now that she could be anywhere else. The whole plan now seemed ridiculous to her now. She had learned nothing by coming here, and Malfoy's plans seemed painfully obvious. She had been so blind. His mouth was getting closer and closer to the top of her shirt, and he was clearly not going to stop there.

Feeling almost intoxicated by the smell of alcohol and cologne, Lily summoned up the last bit of her strength and pulled up her knee to ram him in the leg. She must have hit somewhere else, as he doubled up in pain and she hastily got off the bed. Knowing the opportunity to leave was getting smaller and smaller, she still held her own to get in some parting words.

"I can't believe I trusted you," she said bitterly. "Harry warned me. James warned me. Hell, I even heard Nott and Pansy saying you wanted to sleep with me. But there was always a little part of me that wanted to believe that you were telling the truth." She looked down on him curled up on the floor. "I'm going to sleep now. Don't try anything, or I'll hex your ears off."

"Lily," he murmured from his spot on the ground, and she saw a bit of sadness reflected in his eyes underneath the pain.

"I'm not falling for it again, Draco," she said softly. "You already hurt me enough. You put it plainly enough yourself, I'm a mudblood. Why would you ever want me?"

"I don't know," he replied quietly. "But it wasn't just to hurt Harry."

"I wish I could believe that," she replied. "I wish there was some good in you, because there should be. You're handsome, charming, smart, but somehow, all I see is evil in you."

"Not true," he whispered, and Lily looked down, feeling the roles reversed between the two of them from earlier in the evening.

"Then change," she whispered back. "Show me I'm wrong." He groaned and lay back on the carpet, and she walked back towards the door and let herself out. "Goodbye Draco," she said softly as she left. It wasn't hard to find her room. It was a few doors down, and Lily had never been more grateful to see an empty bed in her life. Collapsing on top of it, she didn't even bother to take off her clothes. In a manner eerily reminiscent of the night before, she cried herself to sleep, crying for both herself and the boy who wouldn't leave his dark ways and turn to the light.

00000

She was awoken several hours later by a loud ruckus going on downstairs that showed no signs of abating. The sky was still dark outside the huge window, and large clock on the wall displayed both hands on the number twelve. Feeling curious, Lily pulled herself off the bed and shivered as her toes touched the cold wood floor next to the bed where the carpet didn't reach. It was a short walk to the door where she peered around the corner to see if anyone else was up. The door to Malfoy's room was shut, but there seemed to be light emanating from the ground level. Making sure to be quiet, Lily crept along the hallway until she got to the stairs, so she could look down. The floor immediately below the stairs was empty though Lily could hear that the talk was coming from behind an opened door that opened off from the central room. She couldn't hear exactly what they were saying but words like "Hogwarts" and "attack" piqued her interest, and she carefully made her way down the stairs, so she could get a better sense of what they were talking about. She was just outside the room when she was finally able to fully understand the conversation.

"It's a bit too soon," an elderly voice was saying. "Dumbledore's bound to know we're up to something, and if we strike too early, we won't have the strength to overcome them."

"Now, Nott," came another voice. "Don't you see that this is our best chance? It's getting close to the Christmas holidays, and with all the excitement, no one will suspect anything."

"My son informed me that they moved up their little dance, because they thought trouble was brewing. I don't know where you get your information from, but it looks like you need a better source," a haughty voice spoke. Lily inched a bit closer. She didn't want to miss anything.

"Gentlemen, gentlemen," said a smooth voice that Lily recognized as Lucius Malfoy himself. "We are not here to fight amongst ourselves. Voldemort has informed me himself that he would prefer an earlier attack, so this muddling about with details is really unnecessary. How soon can you all be ready to fight?"

"We need a week at least," muttered a woman. "I can't imagine being ready before next Monday."

"Hmm…" mused Lucius. "A Monday attack would be unexpected, and Dumbledore would be found completely unaware."

"I want to kill him myself," came a greasy voice from the back of the room.

"Patience, Macnair," Lucius continued. "Leave him to those who know what they're doing." The man named Macnair made a noise of irritation, and Lily could imagine the expression on his face—a look of both anger and embarrassment.

"He humiliates me with every breath," Macnair continued under his breath. "That time with that bloody hippogriff. I knew he was laughing at me the whole time."

"We all feel the same way," Lucius responded, with a hint of patronization in his voice. "But you can help us out by going after the children."

"The children?" came a voice Lily knew at once to be Narcissa's. "Isn't that a bit unnecessary? They could be converted to our side."

"Some of the young ones perhaps," Lucius answered. "But the old ones have grown far too loyal to their cause, and the mudbloods certainly need to be disposed of." Lily felt her blood run cold at his words, and she winced, realizing what Malfoy must have grown up with.

"It'll be wonderful when Hogwarts is united under one house," a cold female voice spoke. "Slytherin was always demonized by the other children, but now they'll learn where true power comes from."

"So you mean to keep Hogwarts open?" a man asked.

"We want our children educated," Lucius answered. "With a changed curriculum of course, and a new set of teachers, but purebloods will always have a place there."

"A Hogwarts I wish I could have attended," sighed the woman. "I learned half the things I know after school."

"As did we all, Bellatrix," Lucius continued. "I rather do regret my decision sometimes not to have sent Draco to Durmstrang, but his mother wanted him closer to home."

"He's my only son, Lucius," Narcissa responded. "Surely, you can respect that."

"And because of it, he's grown weak," Lucius answered angrily. "I wonder if I still will be able to call him my son when he graduates."

"You wouldn't," Narcissa exclaimed. "What has ever done that hasn't pleased you."

"He spends his time cavorting around with whores that mean little to him. I've heard rumors that he hasn't been torturing the mudbloods recently. He's my only son, and yet he turns away from everything important to me," Lucius responded.

"He brought that nice girl home," Narcissa reminded him.

"Probably just a ruse to quell the rumors that he's been enjoying himself with the Slytherins," Lucius replied. "I don't even know the boy anymore."

"He loves you," Narcissa said softly.

"Are you done with this little domestic drama, or should we all go home?" came an impatient voice, and Lily shuddered, anticipating Lucius' response. "I didn't come all this way to listen to you two discuss your son."

"Then get out Goyle," Lucius responded angrily. "Your help will not be needed."

"Lucius, Lucius," soothed the voice that Lily remembered came from a woman named Bellatrix. "There's no need to lose your temper. But it might be best to move back to the matter at hand. I think we've all agreed that next Monday will be the best night to attack." Lily heard a few grunts in approval. "Then we must decide on what the best plan of action is."

"This will take all night," grumbled an elderly man. "Can we discuss it in the morning?"

"Perhaps that might be best," Bellatrix conceded. "I think most of us have lost our patience, and I don't think much will get decided."

"Then meeting adjourned," Lucius responded. "And Goyle, I request that you spend the night in your carriage." Lily didn't wait to hear the man's disgruntled response. She was already up the stairs and trying to go quietly back to her room. It wasn't till she had fully closed the door that she allowed herself to run to the bed and huddle under her covers.

She felt cold, worried, and terrified all at the same time. Her mind kept running over the conversation she had just heard, over every cold voice and every miserable sentence. They were going to attack Hogwarts, and they were going to do it soon. They were going to do whatever it took to win, and they were willing to kill children. How could this be? How could things seem so perfect only a few days ago and descend into the chaos of the present? Even Malfoy worried her no longer. She didn't think he would try anything again, and if he did, she was angry enough that she would hex him into oblivion.

The thing that scared her was that she knew that she'd be forced to face him in battle. She had seen the crumpled, helpless boy on the floor only a few hours ago, and she knew now that there were opposing sides warring it out between themselves inside of him. Most people didn't realize it. Harry didn't. James didn't. Lucius clearly did, but he saw it as a personal failing, though Lily knew it as hope that the boy wasn't completely evil. She just didn't think she could fight him, not with that image of him lying on the floor, trying to admit that there was some good in himself.

"Damn it," she cursed. "How did I get mixed up in all of this?" It was that potion's fault, she realized. It had known where she had been needed, and it had sent her here, without regards for how the journey would change her forever. She wasn't the studious, careful girl she had been when she had left. Of course, remnants of that girl still remained, but they had left someone who had faced her fears and come out stronger because of it. She just hoped she was strong enough to do what she could when the final battle came, but that was an obstacle that still glistened vaguely in the near future. What she needed now was sleep, and a lot of it.

00000

Morning came too early, and Lily woke up to a knocking on her door. Groaning, she pulled herself out from under the worm covers and made her way over to the large wooden door. The icy cold wood floor froze her feet, and she found herself wishing for a warm pair of socks. It took her a bit to realize why she felt so bad, and when the memories of the night before came back to her, she had to put her hand on the dresser to steady herself. Her world was out of control at the moment, but she knew she had to deal with one obstacle at a time.

"Who is it?" she asked, when she was only a few feet from the door.

"It's me," came a soft voice that Lily recognized as Malfoy's. "You don't have to let me in, but I just wanted to tell you that breakfast is ready." Lily opened the door carefully and saw that Malfoy looked about as tired as she felt.

"It's all right," Lily said. "You can come in. Just know that my wand is a few feet away, so don't try anything."

"You always sleep in your clothes?" he asked, pointing towards her rumpled clothes that she still wore from the night before.

"Only when I get attacked my lust-driven boys who want to hurt my friends," she responded, and he turned red. "You could have sent a houself to come get me, so why are you here?" She knew she was being direct and a bit unkind, but she didn't want him to dance circles around what had happened the night before.

"Do you want an apology?" he asked, a hint of anger flashed in his eyes. "You're the one who left me lying on the floor."

"Because you tried to rape me," Lily exclaimed. "Don't act like the innocent party here."

"I wasn't going to rape you," Malfoy responded.

"That's not what I heard from Pansy and Nott," Lily answered. "They said the only reason you pretended to like me was so that you could sleep with me to hurt Harry, and I guess you were going to make that happen last night, whether I wanted to or not."

"Maybe you shouldn't listen to people who don't know what they're talking about," Malfoy muttered.

"Then what was that last night?" Lily asked, hearing her voice rise in irritation. "A show of how much you care for me? I'm trying to understand you Malfoy. Your friends paint a disgusting portrait of you, and you go along with it completely, insulting and attacking me. Then all of a sudden, you're curled up on the floor trying to convince me that that's not who you really are. What am I supposed to think? Who are you Draco Malfoy?"

"A boy who's sick and tired of a self-righteous bitch who thinks she's better than everyone else," he responded angrily. "I'm not you. I'm not the good person who always does everything right, who's always right. You saw my parents last night? You saw what I'm going to become, didn't you?"

"I saw what you could choose to become," Lily answered. "And it looks like you chose, didn't you?"

"There is no choice," he said. "I'm becoming the person I was born to be."

"But do you like who that is?" Lily asked. "Because I don't think you do. I think you act like this is who you're supposed to be, this womanizing, muggleborn torturer who doesn't give a damn about anyone else, but deep down you hate yourself."

"You know, it's too bad that the Dark Lord got to you seventeen years ago, because I would have put you through hell if you were still living today," Malfoy responded, his eyes glinting dangerously. Lily knew that she had gone too far, but she just couldn't stop.

"You're just saying that," she replied. "But I don't think the boy who was curled up on the floor last night really wants that."

"Then what does he want?" Malfoy asked, taking a step closer. "Since you know me so well, what is my deepest desire?"

"Love," Lily responded simply. "But that's not going to happen until you step away from Voldemort and turn to the light."

"That's never going to happen," Malfoy said, stepping away and reaching into his pocket. "Here," he said, throwing a small pouch at her. "The next time we meet, don't expect anything from me. We're through." He turned around and made his way over to the door and left. In the midst of it all, Lily suddenly realized he had broken up with her. It was such a ridiculous thought, that she felt the sudden urge to laugh and cry. Looking down, she realized what he had thrown at her.

It was floo powder.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Argh, I know this chapter took me forever to put out. I had a severe case of writer's block for the past few weeks, not in terms of not knowing where the plot was going, but not knowing how to make this scenes work. I'm finally graduated though so hopefully over the summer I can go back to a more regular schedule. Thank you to everyone who's stuck with this though. I really appreciate it. Just a plot note though, in this chapter, I have Lily only being able to floo into the Leaky Cauldron instead of Hogwarts from the Malfoy Manor. I know people have been able to floo into Hogwarts before, such as Sirius when he talks to Harry, but I thought it would be a huge security breach if anyone could floo from the Manor to Hogwarts, so I made it impossible. Hope you enjoy the chapter! Please read and review.**

Chapter 15

Monday morning dawned bright and early and found most of Hogwarts in the Great Hall discussing the past weekend's events. Yule Ball dresses were compared, and dates were evaluated over steaming platters of eggs and bacon, and many of the girls agonized over boys who hadn't given them a second glance after Saturday night. Most of the boys were sick of the talk and were trying to remain some vestige of dignity by discussing Quidditch and the next match which would be taking place between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw the next weekend, but the girls could not be swayed. Even the Slytherin table was full of talk about the mysterious coincidence that both Lily and Malfoy had been missing for the past day and night. While those in the know whispered behind closed hands about how he was degrading himself by sleeping with a mudblood, the younger students discussed theories as to why a Slytherin would be caught off campus with a Gryffindor.

"Apparently, she used some love potion to get him to fall for her," one third-year whispered conspiratorially. "I mean, they way she dresses, you'd think she's bloody homeless."

"They say Pansy's livid," said another, looking down the table at the seventh-year who had a disgruntled look on her face. "I don't know why she'd feel threatened at all. It's not like Malfoy could actually like her."

"But the love potion . . ." the first girl reminded her.

"That's ridiculous," a third girl cut in, as she reached for yet another biscuit to add to her overfilling plate. "You have to get tumbleweed for those to work, and we all know that the apothecary's been out of that for weeks." And so the talk continued, each girl with her own theory as to why the two were missing.

Further down the table sat Pansy Parkinson with her friend Tracey Davis. Her mascara looked a bit smudged as if she had been crying, but any tear streaks had long since been rubbed away. The plate in front of her was empty, as no matter how many times her friend tried to add any potatoes to her plate, she pushed her hands away.

"I'm not hungry," she repeated for the tenth time, snuffling slightly, and resting her head on her hands. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you, but I don't think I ever want to eat again."

"Pansy," Tracey said soothingly, placing her hand on her friend's shoulder. "Nothing's going to happen. You said it yourself. He's only doing this to hurt Harry, and nothing more."

"But he's still going to touch her," Pansy whispered. "A bloody mudblood, and he's giving her all the caresses that should have been mine. He could have done this any other way."

"They will be yours," Tracey reminded her. "Just wait. In a while, this war will be over, and you and Draco will be able to finally be together."

"But what if he doesn't want me," Pansy continued, a wave of tears threatening to overcome her. "He doesn't talk to me any more in the common room, and I heard that he'd been talking about getting together with that slut Daphne Greengrass before that mudblood felt the need to show up. She doesn't even have any money."

"You know Draco likes to play the field," Tracey reminded her. "But he'll come back to you. I know he will. Why wouldn't he?"

"Because I'm ugly," Pansy murmured, this time breaking down into sobs. "Nott told me I have a pug-nose, and you know no one invited me to the Yule Ball. I hate myself."

"That's ridiculous," Tracey said. "I heard Zabini talking about how nice you looked Saturday night." It was a lie, Tracey knew, but a little white lie never hurt anyone, and Pansy seemed to believe it.

"Really," she replied, looking up and brightening. "He really said that?"

"Would I lie to you?" Tracey asked, and Pansy shook her head. "Exactly, so please, eat some of these potatoes. You'll be a grumpy mess all day if you don't eat anything, and then you won't be able to greet Malfoy when he comes back." Tracey grimaced, hoping she wouldn't set Pansy off on another set of waterworks at the mention of Malfoy being gone, but luckily, Pansy didn't notice. She smiled instead and reached for the potatoes, spooning a sizable pile onto her plate along with some bacon and eggs. Tracey wondered briefly if she should repeat Blaise's real comment, that Pansy needed to watch what she ate or else she'd turn into a blimp like Millicent, but decided it was unneeded. It was hard when your best friend was emotionally unstable, and most of your house had an extreme lack of tact, but seven years of Slytherin house had taught her how to survive. Besides, when your parents were secretly penniless, all you had was your name and your pure bloodlines to go on, and Tracey knew she would have to milk these relationships for all they were worth when her time at Hogwarts were finished and she would emerge, broke and with few prospects.

"Feeling better?" she questioned, and Pansy nodded.

"What would I do without you?" Pansy asked.

"I don't know," Tracey said. "I don't know."

00000

"Is James going to sit on the lawn all day?" Ron asked, looking out one of the windows of the Gryffindor tower, about an hour after breakfast. "He's going to miss Transfiguration, and I was hoping I wouldn't be the only one who didn't do my homework." Despite his offhand comment, Ron was really worried about James. They all were, but Ron especially had noticed the glances towards the portrait hole every time a new Gryffindor came in and the frequent looks out the window, as James struggled to cope with Lily's absence. He knew there had to be something more going on than met the eye. James's eyes were not filled with jealousy, but with worry and concern, and Ron wondered if James knew something they did not. Certainly, Malfoy didn't mean to hurt Lily. Ron didn't think of himself as very astute romantically, but he did notice a lot of tenderness and devotion when Malfoy was around her that almost approached the way he felt about Hermione. But if that was the case, then why the worry?

And now James was sitting out on the lawn watching the road, as if Lily would be returning any moment with his book bag flung carelessly off to the side. He didn't appear tense or anxious, though Ron assumed that that was merely a front to make him look tougher than he appeared. He wondered if his friend would sit out there all morning and afternoon and realized that there was little doubt that he would. Ron would have done the exact same thing for Hermione.

"I think so," Harry remarked a few seconds later from the couch he was sitting on with a Transfiguration book resting on the floor besides him. "I tried talking to him about it, but it wasn't the kind of thing that you wanted to bug him about. I think he'd fly to Malfoy's house if he knew where it was."

"I'd fly to Malfoy's house if I knew where it was," Ron muttered. "Dad said there's enough stuff in there to put the lot of them away for life, but they've made the damn place unplottable." He kicked the side of the sofa irritably, remembering the sight of Lucius Malfoy taunting his dad at Flourish and Blotts so many years ago.

"I just wonder what this means for Lily," Hermione remarked. "When we came back from the Yule Ball, she was lying on the bed asleep, but she looked like she had spent a few hours crying, and then all of a sudden she's going off to Malfoy's house without even saying goodbye."

"Wait, she'd been crying?" Harry asked. "You never mentioned that before."

"I wasn't sure if it was the best thing to say around James," Hermione said. "He already seemed so upset, and I didn't want to make things worse."

"But then why would she go?" Ron said, quietly. "If she were so upset, why would she leave with him?" That was the question that no one knew the answer too. Looking out the window, Ron still got the feeling that James knew a bit more of what was going on than the rest of them. His grim look of determination never faltered as he looked out towards the road, never trailing off or getting distracted. Ron turned back to the others.

"We're going to be late to Transfiguration," Hermione said, but it was more of a statement than a reminder that they should be on their way.

"You know I really wasn't joking about not doing my homework," Ron noted.

"Fine," Hermione replied. "Though don't blame me when McGonagall gives us extra work to makeup."

"I don't think schoolwork's going to be a big concern soon," Harry added. "With the way the Yule Ball was moved up and how teachers have been on edge lately, I wouldn't be surprised if Voldemort's planning something huge." Hermione shuddered and wrapped her arms around her knees from her spot on the couch.

"It's times like these that make you wonder what we're still in school," Ron said. "It's like pretending that everything's still normal."

"But then again, Dumbledore was the one Voldemort was always scared of," Hermione answered. "And Harry needs to learn how to defeat him."

"Damn prophesy," Harry muttered, and the two other looked at him. He rarely talked about it, and the others felt it would have been intrusive to ask. "Sometimes I wonder if I'll be strong enough. I mean, when I get to that final moment, staring him in the eye, will I have the strength to actually kill him? He tortured my friends, my family, and I don't know if I'll be able to do anything."

"We'll be right there besides you," Hermione said, patting his arm. "We always have been."

"I know," Harry answered quietly. "But sometimes I wonder if it will be enough." They sat silently like that, each sitting and thinking about the future and what it would bring. A few minutes later, Hermione would get up, saying that if she were forced to miss Transfiguration, she would spend the period studying for her Arithmancy paper in the library, and Ron would ask Harry if he wanted to practice some Quidditch. But for now, they were content to sit in silence, apart and yet together, worrying and yet at ease, knowing that anything they encountered would be dealt with together.

00000

It was a long walk between the Leaky Cauldron where Lily was able to use the fireplace and the gates of Hogwarts, and even longer when considering the rather large trunk she was dragging behind. It was almost funny that she had brought it. It had been borrowed from Lavender who had offered any of her things in a time of need, but right now, Lily felt more that she needed all her friends rather than an overly large trunk filled with unused clothes. But it wasn't like she was going to leave it on the side of the road, so she struggled on, wondering how she would break the news to the rest of the school that the Death Eaters would be attacking in exactly a week. Truth be told, she wasn't even sure that date was correct. The Death Eaters said they would be reconvening, and they could easily change the date of the attack, and she would never know.

Still, the information was startling in its proximity. Only about a mile up the road, students were studying school books, talking with friends, eating breakfast, and attending class all unaware that in a few days time, their lives would be broken apart by war that was on their very doorstep. Lily wondered if Dumbledore would evacuate the school. Certainly, the younger students would not be allowed to fight, though many of the older ones would want to stay and defend the castle. Of course, there were probably many Slytherins who would fight on the other side. Lily wondered what Dumbledore would do with them. Send them home, so they could come back later to fight? Would she be forced to face Malfoy in battle? She didn't know if she could, and she wondered if he would have any problems shooting an Unforgiveable at her.

Feeling her hand becoming sore, she switched from the trunk from her right hand to her left, and in the process noticed that she could finally see the gates of Hogwarts. She had never been more grateful to see the open metal doors, and she forced herself into a faster pace, more than ever desperate to see her friends. About ten minutes later, she made her way through the gate, smiling in relief as she saw the towering stone piers and turrets. It was tempting to drop her trunk and coast and just collapse onto the grass and enjoy the sun that was poking out from behind the trees of the Forbidden Forest, but she was momentarily distracted by the sound of running footsteps.

"Lily," a voice called out, and she looked across the lawn to see a figure hurtling towards her. She smiled when she recognized James's characteristic black hair that was sticking up in all the wrong places and watched as he stopped only a few paces away, a concerned look on his face. "You're alright?" he asked. "Where's Malfoy? If that son of a bitch left you stranded in the middle of nowhere, I swear I'll kill him. What did he do to you?"

"James, calm down," Lily reassured him. "I'm fine. I had to take a bit of a walk but that's only because the Leaky Cauldron's the closest place with an open-access fireplace." James seemed visibly a bit more calm; at least, he wasn't breathing as fast, and his hair had begun to settle.

"But then where's Malfoy?" he asked, running a hand aimlessly through his hair.

"Back at the manor. We had a minor disagreement, but that's not important," Lily answered.

"He didn't try to, you know, hurt you or anything?" James said.

"Well, kind of, but he didn't get very far. The important thing is . . ." Lily tried again.

"That bastard," James cursed. "I'll go over there myself and hex him till he can't even sit on a broom without hurting himself."

"James," Lily said loudly. "The Death Eaters are going to attack Hogwarts."

"What?" James exclaimed, in surprise. "How do you know?"

"Last night, I snuck downstairs during one of their meetings. Next Monday, they're going to all come here to attack. I don't know when, and I don't know how, but they're coming," Lily said breathlessly. She brushed her hair back to calm herself. "We've got to go warn Dumbledore."

"Yeah, of course," James said. "I'll go get Dumbledore and then see you back to the Tower."

"I can walk up to Dumbledore's office," Lily protested, but she realized all of a sudden how exhausted she was. Her knees felt like they were about to give out, and her arms were sore from the heavy trunk.

"Just rest here a few seconds," James responded. "I'll be back in a minute." Lily watched him turn around, and then called his name quickly.

"James," she said again, when he turned back around to face her. "Thank you."

"I missed you Lily Evans," he said, with a bit of a smile, and she felt her heart beat a bit more quickly.

"I missed you too," she responded, smiling back, and wondering where all these feelings were coming from. It would have been easy to blame the quickened heartbeat and sudden heat on the surprising warmth of the day, but she didn't think that was the true cause. After experiencing betrayal and coldness from Malfoy, she found herself wishing for someone far more stable and loving in her life. Though she would have found the idea of James Potter stable and loving laughable in the past, she had seen his kindness and his loyalty and found them surprising likable. She looked up at him once again and nodded towards the castle. "Hurry back," she continued, and he nodded.

"You won't even know I'm gone," he responded and started jogging back to the castle.

Sitting alone on top of her trunk near the gates of Hogwarts, Lily found herself feeling less lonely than she had all year. If it was from being back at Hogwarts or seeing James, she did not know, though she found herself feeling like a part of her that had been lost had been restored. She smiled. Who would have thought James Potter would have had this kind of effect on her?

Lost in her thoughts, she leaned back until her entire back was horizontal on the trunk with her feet still in the grass. The sun was soothing on her face, and she found herself drifting off from the exhaustion of the past day and night. A solitary bird was chirping, as if it were summer rather than the winter that had sent them the strange sunny day. But before she could fully fall asleep, she was woken up by determined footsteps making their way across the lawn. She looked up and saw the Dumbledore followed by James making his way towards her, a serious expression crossing his face.

"Lily," he began. "Tell me quickly all you learned at the Malfoy's house." Lily opened her mouth and began to recount all that had happened the night before, disregarding the parts with Malfoy. Dumbledore was a patient audience, though she could tell that he was disturbed by the news. His long gray beard seemed almost whiter once she had finished her story, and his eyes looked downcast.

"So it will begin," he said finally. "I did not believe it would be this soon." Lily looked down at her lap, unused to her headmaster looking so morose. He studied the trees for a few moments and then turned around. "Come along," he continued. "There is much work to be done."

00000

Dumbledore told only a few about the upcoming attack: all of the teachers, Harry and his friends, and a few other trustworthy students. He rationalized his decision by speaking of the Death Eaters who believed that the attack would be a surprise. If the whole student body were informed of the attack so soon, the Death Eaters would know they had been infiltrated and would most likely change the day of attack and possibly even attack sooner. It would be a disaster, and so, Dumbledore kept the Death Eater's plan a secret.

An escape plan was formed instead, unbeknownst to the students. On the day of the attack, most of the younger students would be taken out of the castle to hide in one of the many secret passageways where they would be guarded with many wards and hexes. The only problem was the issue of the elder Slytherin students who Dumbledore knew would fight on the side of Voldemort. Would they all of a sudden turn on their former classmates and teachers or would they run away, choosing the coward's way out? He couldn't all of a sudden dismiss the majority of the Slytherin students, but doing nothing meant that they were a huge unpredictable liability. He would deal with them when the time came.

Instead, he focused on training the select few students that he found completely trustworthy. Many of them had been in the DA and knew defensive spells, but a few like Lily and James had only received a basic education in spell work. Dumbledore had Harry teach them special lessons, while he taught more advanced techniques in defending and attacking one's opponent. Of course, the spells were mainly ones for disarming or stupefying one's opponent and would not be completely effective against an enemy that was aiming to kill, but Dumbledore did not want to turn his students into murderers. No, there was only one student that would be asked to kill next Monday night, and he had known that future since his fifth year. Harry Potter, wizard extraordinaire, would face his destiny Monday night whether he wanted to or not.

The boy in question found himself exhausted most nights. He had completely abandoned much of his schoolwork, and instead, had devoted much of his time to teaching and assisting the other students with their spells and hexes. It was like a more intensified version of Dumbledore's Army, and Harry felt himself cracking under the pressure. Fortunately, his students felt the pressure as well and performed well under him, but Harry found himself not sleeping well at nights and spending the minutes in which he wasn't practicing researching new spells that Hermione looked him up in the library. It was a hard few days, though he comforted himself with the knowledge that it would all be over Tuesday, although he didn't know if he himself would still be alive. This only prompted him to study longer, and it was on a Friday night that Ginny found him in the library, squinting as he tried to learn yet another spell.

"Harry," she said, and he looked up from his spot in one of the deserted corners of the library. "What are you doing up so late?"

"Trying to get the Rodengo spell down," he admitted wearily. "I think it would really be useful to Neville. He tends to be good with the more natural spells."

"You're overworking yourself," Ginny said, coming over and sitting down beside him. "It's not healthy." She reached a hand up and touched his forehead gently. "You're beginning to get a worry line." Harry offered a wan smile.

"If it would save the world, I'd take a million worry lines," he said. "I just hope I'll be able to do enough." She gave him a sad look.

"You've already done enough," she continued. "Harry, if you could see yourself the way the rest of us mere mortals see you, you'd see a man who's almost offered his soul to beat You-Know-Who."

"And it hasn't been enough," Harry responded. "I need to beat him, Ginny. You heard the prophesy. I'm the only one who can."

"I heard it," she said softly. "I heard words that have condemned you to a half life where defeating You-Know-Who has become everything, but no one deserves a life like that. You need happiness too."

"I have happiness," Harry responded. "I have Ron and Hermione. I got to meet my parents for the first time this year, and you know your parents have always treated me like another son."

"But is it enough?" Ginny asked, and he looked at her, trying to understand what she was getting at.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Are they enough?" she asked, and he looked into her eyes finally, and saw a mixture of worry, concern, and something he could not exactly understand. It was when she started leaning forward that he finally recognized what it was. It was the exact same look found in his own eyes when he had seen her at the Yule Ball dancing with Michael Corner. It was a feeling of longing, sadness, and emptiness. He leaned forward too, and their lips met at the exact same moment, and he felt tears on his face that were not his own.

It was not a gentle kiss nor was it remotely rough. In the middle, it carried all the emotions they had felt thus far: confusion, fear, longing, and want. Harry even tasted a bit of fire whiskey in the midst of everything, which explained everything. She would not have come to him and laid herself so open had she been completely sober. But despite all the parts of himself that were telling him that this was a bad idea, that she was Ron's sister, and he was about to fight a war, he was glad to give in. Ginny was not brave and selfless like Hermione nor reckless and loyal like Ron, but she was herself, a perfect mixture of everything he had seen in her and loved. She may not have been perfect, but people rarely are, and it was by mutual consent that they deepened the kiss, abandoning the chairs and turning to the floor.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: It's been forever since I lasted posted, and while I blame part of that on summer's unpredictability, there's also the struggle of feeling that there's so much left to write, though in actuality the story's almost over. I don't know if I'm completely satisfied with the chapter especially the ending, but I feel like I have to get it out there before I leave for vacation. I was partly inspired by HP6, which I saw at midnight and loved. I know they left of the book out, but I thought Ron and Harry were hilarious, and the cinematography was amazing. Anyways, let me know what you think, and I'll try to get the next chapter out soon.**

Chapter 16

It did not take long for news of Harry and Ginny's relationship to emerge. In fact, only a few bookshelves over, Lavender Brown had fallen asleep on top of a rather large pile of Transfiguration books only to be awoken by some rather loud noises and whispers being made close by. Investigating further, she had caught a glimpse of the two and despite her exhaustion, had made record time reporting the news to the rest of Gryffindor Tower. Her blood-shot eyes combined with waving arms had ensured that the whole of the common room was listening, and when she was done, the crowd moved away to find Ron lying comatose on the floor, though whether he passed out from exhaustion, surprise, or horror, no one could really say.

But truth be told, it seemed almost everyone in Gryffindor were passing out during odd times of the day. Parvarti had collapsed in the middle of a History of Magic test, and Neville had almost fallen into a cauldron in the middle of Potions. Even the younger children who did not know of the extra practice sessions were feeling the strain as the older students yelled at them often for being either too loud or too in the way. Dumbledore and Harry were pushing them hard, harder than they had ever worked before, even in Dumbledore's army, and it was a rare night when any of them went to bed before midnight. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs who had also been recruited were also facing the curiosity and confusion of their houses, and it was not a small number of them who wished they could have remained blissfully unaware of the pending fight.

Dumbledore tried to fix the situation by a solution that had worked in the past, labeling the extra classes a "Remedial Potions" workshop designed to enhance students' skills for those who were doing poorly in Potions. It made a sense in a way, for none of the Slytherins were involved in the late night practice sessions, and Slytherins were the only class as a whole to remain on Snape's good side and receive high grades, but it was humiliating for the Ravenclaws who didn't like the black mark on their reputations.

All in all, with the newest scandal of Harry and Ginny and the stress of keeping up with classes as well as the extra practice sessions, it was a tired and grumpy group of students who made their way into the Room of Requirement Sunday morning for the last practice before the impending fight. Harry had kindly let them have the afternoon and evening off, but even so, the morning practice found everyone a little bitter and jealous over their fellow students who were spending the morning asleep in their beds.

Sensing the hostility, Harry made his way slowly into the room and began to move a well-worn fabric dummy into place. His black hair looked even more untidy than usual, and his glasses were so grimy that it was a wonder he could even see through them. Still, this did not stop him from flashing a tired smile Ginny's way which she managed to return despite the deep circles under her eyes. He looked up to see many of them stuffing bread into their mouths, and he realized they had saved food from the dinner before, since they had known they wouldn't have time to eat this morning. It made him sad but also scared, since he didn't think a tired and hungry army would be very effective against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. It was a good thing that the Order of the Phoenix would be joining them in the morning.

"Hey," Harry began, and he watched as the bread eaters stuffed the last morsels in their mouths in order to look his way. "I'd say something about how I'm glad everyone could make it, but I know that's probably not what you want to hear. This is our last practice, and I know everyone's bloody tired. So do your best. Voldemort's going to have a field day if we're out there doing shoddy wand work, and I don't want to lose anyone. I set up the dummy again, and I just want to go through and review basic spells. No new things today. I don't want you nervously trying to memorize spells that you won't be able to remember when you get in a tight spot, so just form a line, and we'll start with the Impedimenta spell. If we can get through all of this in two hours, I'll let you go, and you can have the rest of the day to yourselves." He had meant his speech to be encouraging, but the group of students merely shuffled together into a line, too tired to even talk amongst themselves. "I know we can win," Harry tried again, with little response, besides Ginny who shot him another smile.

"Alright," Harry said, moving to the space in front of the line and faced the group of students. "I know most of you have already encountered the Impedimenta spell, but for those of you who have forgotten, it works to stop an object or slow it down. It is especially useful when you're being attacked and can be used against animals as well. We'll practice first on this dummy, so you can get the hang of the technique again, and then, we'll break up into groups of two and practice on each other." Harry sighed when he realized how monotonous he was sounding. He was turning into a bloody textbook. Still, there was a lesson to be taught.

He turned to face the dummy which was a faded gray color except for its stomach where someone had written "Eat Shit Death Eaters", and aimed his wand at its heart. Yelling "Mobilicorpus", he watched as the dummy started to roll towards him. Without breaking a sweat, he aimed again, and yelled, "Impedimenta," and the dummy stopped, frozen in its tracks. "See," Harry said. "It's effective and not too difficult. But the enemy we will be facing tomorrow won't come at you in a straight line. That's why when we break up into groups, I want you moving around and shooting mild hexes at each other. That will teach you to fight an attacking opponent."

Harry paused for a second and allowed Terry Boot who was in the front of the line to step up and face the dummy. "Ready Terry?" Harry asked, and Terry managed a nod. The Ravenclaw boy shakily raised his wand hand to point at the middle of the dummy. "Mobilicorpus," he yelled, though with far less energy than Harry had done. His muscles tensed with concentration, as he waited for the dummy to respond. It only took a second for it to start rolling forward, and Terry managed an "Impedimenta" after it had made its way halfway across the room.

"Good job, Terry," Harry managed, though he knew in a real fight, the Ravenclaw boy would have been dead already. "Though next time, try to work on the speed." Terry nodded and hurriedly made his way to the back of the line.

Next up was Lavender Brown who managed to hit the dummy only after blasting a hole in the wall behind it and then Neville who said the spell wrong and made the dummy spin in place. It was a relief when Hermione finally managed to come to the front of the line and stopped the dummy after it had moved only a few feet. Harry knew that a lot of their difficulties came from their exhaustion, but he also accepted that you couldn't just cram a year's worth of defensive spells into a week. Plus, they were scared. Impedimenta had been a spell they had learned in fifth year, but the thought of having to use it against real people terrified them and made them mess up.

Even with the slip ups, Harry still told them to separate into smaller groups after they had gone through the line twice. Maybe working with friends would make the atmosphere less tense even though tomorrow was sure to be even more stressful. Harry found himself with Ron, and James and Lily paired up as well.

"So," Ron said when they were facing each other. "You and my sister." It had been a whole two days, since the news had broken, though Harry and Ron had never found themselves alone and in a situation where they could discuss it. The avoidance had definitely not been on purpose, though Harry suddenly found himself remembering himself making excuses to be with large groups of people. "Think you could have asked me about it before you decided to go hook up in the library?"

"Ron," Harry replied slowly, trying to walk towards him in a peaceful manner. "Whatever people are saying, it's not like that. It wasn't me trying to . . . I really like her."

"Impedimenta," Ron yelled, effectively freezing Harry. "You think I don't know you like her?" he said, his eyes burning a hole in Harry's face. "You haven't been able to keep your eyes off of her since last year, though what am I supposed to do when the whole school starts talking about how my best friend and my sister are shacking up in back corners of the library? They're talking about her like she's a . . . like she's a . . ." Ron stopped in order to take a few breaths, but he never took his eyes off Harry.

By this point, the spell had worn off, but Harry made no move to bridge the gap between him and Ron. "It's not like that," Harry repeated. "We need each other. We're both going crazy, and she was there for me."

"But in the library?" Ron asked.

"I'm sorry," Harry said. "I wasn't thinking."

"Damn straight, you weren't thinking," Ron continued, his wand grasped firmly in his hand. "If my mom ever heard about this . . ."

"Ron, we want to be a real couple," Harry replied quickly, feeling the need to get the truth out. "No sneaking around, no more libraries, we want to be together, and I want your blessing." Ron looked for a second like he was going to say something entirely different, but he shut his mouth.

"But . . ." he started. "Harry, she's my only sister."

"I know, Ron," Harry replied. "And I will always be there for her. I love her." It was the first time he had ever admitted it, but when the words slipped out, Harry instantly knew they were true.

"You love . . .? Ron started. "Like actually love?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "I do."

"If you do anything to hurt her, I'll kill you," Ron replied. "Like they won't be able to find a scrap of you left in this life."

"Which is why it's a good thing that that's not going to happen," Harry responded quickly. "I promise I will never hurt her."

"I just . . . Harry, it's just really hard to let her go," Ron continued. "I mean, you're my best friend, and I trust you, and you're a spot better than the other blokes she's gone around with, but . . ."

"But she's Ginny," Harry replied.

"Exactly," Ron said, and then he paused for a second. "So you'll take care of her?"

"Of course," Harry answered.

"And protect her and love her?" Ron continued.

"Forever," Harry promised.

"Give me some time to get used to it," Ron grumbled, but Harry knew that his friend had finally accepted the fact that his best friend and his sister would be inseparable, and Harry couldn't be more grateful.

"Thanks Ron," Harry said. "Or should I say future brother-in . . ." he grinned.

"Don't push it," Ron interrupted, though he didn't look that angry, and they stood in silence for a bit, watching the groups around them shoot spells at each other.

After a bit, Harry turned to Ron. "Think you can dodge my Impedimenta?" he asked.

"I'd have to be comatose for you to hit me with that thing," Ron replied, as he jogged across the room. Harry laughed, and for a few seconds, all thoughts of the war and Ginny were forgotten, and they were once again normal seventh years fooling around in the midst of a perfect world.

00000

On the other side of the room, Lily and James were a little more immersed in the lesson, though not by far. They had both done fairly well in the practice line, though James managed to make the dummy's hand explode on the second time around. Lily had been a bit confused by this, since James could do most defensive spells in his sleep until she realized he had probably done it out of boredom. In fact, it wasn't boredom that motivated him, but restlessness from being cooped up in a castle while others waited breathlessly for an attack that seemed like it would never come. He wasn't even tired like the others. At least they had their exhaustion to calm their nerves, but James was used to late nights exploring the castle with the Marauders or going to the Shrieking Shack to be with Remus. Over the past few years, he had even gotten to be quite adept at sleeping during class without being detected, so it wasn't as if he had to go completely without rest. It was just the waiting that got to him, the waiting that made him want to run around the castle grounds screaming for the Death Eaters to come now.

"Hey," Lily said interrupting his thoughts. "Want me to go first?" She stood across from him with a tired smile on her face and her hair hastily tied up in a ponytail. Even though she looked like she hadn't slept in a week, James still thought she looked beautiful, and she instantly brought his thoughts back to the present. "I was thinking we could do this a few times, and then see if we could sneak back to the Tower for a few more hours of sleep."

"Yeah," James agreed. "Seriously, how does Harry expect these people to fight the Death Eaters tomorrow? I feel like if a breeze came through the window, half of them would fall over."

"Count me in on the ones that would be on the floor," Lily yawned. "Now, move your arms about a bit and jog around, and I'll see if I can hit you.

James felt a bit silly as he jogged around the room, and he could tell Lily found it amusing as well, as she waited a few seconds before sending the spell his way. It was a strange sensation. He all of a sudden went from jogging to barely moving, as he felt himself hit an invisible barrier that made the air feel thick and his limbs feel as if they weighed a hundred pounds. A "Finite Incantatum" later, and he found himself able to walk back to Lily as if nothing had happened.

"Well done, Evans," James grinned. "Almost thought you were a natural there." He was expecting Lily to smile back, so he was surprised when her face fell, and she looked down at her wand which was held clasped between her hands.

"We really don't know what we're doing, do we?" she asked, and James realized she was talking more to herself than him. "These people are in her getting ready to fight a war, and I feel like I'm a teenager practicing spells for her next test. I don't belong here," she finished and leaned back against one of the nearby walls. James waited for a few seconds before he spoke again, but when he did, it was with a softer expression on his face.

"I don't think anyone's going into this thinking they know everything," he said, looking out over the sea of practicing students. "Now, I might be concerned if I was that guy over there," he continued, nodding over at Neville who was currently trying to put out a fire he had started on Parvarti Patil's robes. "But you can do this stuff. You might not have grown up with war on your doorstep, but you still know the spells."

"I know how to do the spells in a classroom," she corrected, but James could tell that some of her self confidence was returning.

"In the classroom, in the battlefield, it's all the same," James continued. "If they're natural to you, you can do them anywhere. Besides, if you think about it, they're attacking Hogwarts. You might end up fighting in a classroom."

"Funny," Lily remarked. "Things always seem to come full circle. You learn in a classroom, so you can kill in one."

"Yeah," James agreed. "Funny how things tend to end up that way. Though Harry seems to think we're going to leave the killing to the Order."

"If I see a Death Eater threatening any of my friends, I don't know if I'd be able to stop myself," Lily admitted.

"Is Lily Evans actually admitting to the capability to throw out an Unforgiveable?" James asked and raised his eyebrows.

"Don't act like such a saint," Lily responded, a smile threatening to break out on her face. "With the way you look at Snape, I can tell you wouldn't mind throwing a Crucio or two his way."

"And you actually think you're unprepared to fight the Death Eaters?" James laughed, as he inwardly brightened at having been able to cheer her up. "Lily Evans, closet assassin, what other hidden secrets do you have?"

"Shut up and try the Impedimenta on me already," she said, grinning and straightening up from her spot against the wall and walking a few paces away. James couldn't keep from smiling, as he shot the spell at her receding back and watched her stop dead in her tracks. It took him a few seconds to cast the releasing spell, and she took her time walking back.

"So," he said when she finally returned.

"So what?" she replied, quirking her brow.

"So, dinner tonight on top of the Astronomy Tower?" he asked.

"The night before a war?" she responded.

"Can you think of a better time?" he answered.

"I'll see you at seven," she said after a moment.

"Seven it is."

00000

Dinner was a quiet affair. James enlisted the help of a few house elves to set a table for two with a spread of various meats and cheeses. A few lighted candles added some ambiance, and he even remembered to pull out Lily's chair for her when she arrived at the doorway to the Tower. It was lucky that he remembered to do even that, since when she slowly opened the door, he barely managed to shut his mouth and stop gaping at her. It wasn't that she was dressed up the way she had been for the Yule Ball or even that she had put any extra effort into her appearance. She was wearing merely a dark green shirt paired with some corduroys, but the smile she gave him when she saw him almost knocked him out.

"Hey," she said almost shyly. It wasn't quite dark yet, but James could swear that her green eyes were glowing in the light of the moon.

"Hey," he responded, running a hand distractedly through his hair. It was one thing to talk to Lily when they were in the middle of a practice session, but he found himself strangely nervous now that they were up on the roof of the tower. He sensed that she felt the same way, though she was clearly trying to hide it.

"You remember the last time we were up here?" she asked after a brief pause, and he nodded. For a few seconds, they were back there in the past, arguing over a small vial of potion and starting the journey that would take them to where they were today.

"It feels like it was twenty years ago," he replied, and she grinned.

"Funny how things can change in twenty years," she said.

"Yeah, funny," he answered.

It was almost like they were old friends meeting again after a long time apart. There were of course the awkward times, the funny times, even the flirtatious times, as when James tried to wipe a bit of jam off of Lily's lip and let his hand linger there for far more time than was needed. But all in all, it was a good time, and James was sad when the last piece of ham and bread was eaten, and the butterbeer was all drunk. They sat at the table for a few seconds more, as if unsure what the next step should be.

"I should probably go," Lily said quietly, looking as if it were the last thing she wanted to do. "Without some sleep, I might as well put a target sign on my head for the Death Eaters."

"Yeah," James agreed. "And anyways, Harry'll probably want to give us all a pep talk before we go to sleep."

"Oh, Merlin," Lily laughed. "He'll be massacred if he tries that."

"Definitely," James said. "But I just wanted to say . . ."

"It was a great night," Lily finished. "Really amazing."

"Exceptional," James grinned. "Though it's not finished."

"It's not?" Lily asked and that was when he kissed her.

It was by no means James's first kiss or even Lily's for that matter, but it felt like a first kiss should be, pure, sweet, with just an undercurrent of something far greater to come. It hinted at more than kisses along the road, with the underlying knowledge that they didn't need to hurry, that they had all the time in the world.

For even a war, even Voldemort, even death itself couldn't separate them. They were James and Lily, eternally bonded together, and with eternity in the works, you didn't have to hurry things like a couple's first kiss.

So they stayed like that for several minutes, allowing everything around them to disappear into sweet oblivion, and all that really mattered was each other.


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: Wow, longest chapter yet, and I'm assuming that's because I kept dragging out the story, so I wouldn't have to get to the battle. Don't worry, the last third of the story is pure action, which was actually pretty fun to write, despite my fear that I wouldn't know how to write a fight scene. I also have one of my favorite scenes in this chapter (the third one), which started off as a brief dialogue in the Great Hall but turned into this massive conversation. I hope I can keep up this updating speed, because I do want to finish this before college, so keep your fingers crossed for frequent updates. Oh, and one last thing. While I was writing this, I didn't know that Rodolphus Lestrange escaped from Azkaban with Bellatrix, so for the purposes of this story, he died in jail. I would have changed it, but it's a huge part of Bellatrix's character in this story. Anyways, hope you enjoy, and as always, let me know what you think.**

Chapter 17

For many students, Monday morning seemed the start to another average week filled with classes, pranks, mischief, and fun. Puking Pastilles were snuck into pockets in anticipation for tedious History of Magic classes, and extra biscuits were smuggled into bags in case of overlong Herbology classes that had the tendency to cut into lunch. In essence, an ordinary Monday morning, as students grew restless for the Christmas holidays to begin.

But even the most cheerful students began to notice something was wrong when Professor Sprout almost burst into tears over a demonstration of the way to properly handle a Mandrake, and Professor McGonagall pointedly didn't assign homework for what seemed like the first time in at least a decade. Even more suspicious was Professor Trelawney who managed to go a whole morning without predicting anyone's death. In fact, she seemed almost scared to look into the crystal ball and only gave it cursory looks from across the room before she busied herself by drinking massive cups of tea and murmuring something about her "Inner Eye". It was all very odd, and thus many of the students entered the Great Hall at lunch time, unsurprised to find Dumbledore at the podium, ready to deliver a message.

There were not many teachers who could command silence with just their presence. Snape was one of them as well as McGonagall, but teachers such as Professor Sprout and Professor Trelawney had to work for the respect of their students and rarely obtained full control. Dumbledore was not intimidating like McGonagall nor terrifying like Snape, but he still gave off an aura of great wisdom, and he needed no extra words to ask his students to be quiet.

"Greetings," he started, staring out over the sea of students, none of which had even touched the food that had already appeared on the table. "I see many of you seem unsurprised that I am up here. Many of you have already begun to understand what is occurring, but forgive an old man for leaving that till later for beginnings are never the time for dour news." He took a breath and took a sip of the goblet of wine in front of him.

"Many years have I served as Headmaster of this school, and I have never seen such an impressive bunch of students. Looking out over you, I see students who have mastered new concepts, made new friends, and continually have sought after knowledge. I see students who I would be proud to call my son or daughter, students who I regret must one day leave Hogwarts. I look around me, and I see a school that tries its best to educate all of you to the best of its ability. I see a community that somehow fits together despite all its differing parts, a school where a centaur," he nodded at Firenze, "can teach alongside a human without any fear of prejudice. I look at all this, and I am proud." He paused here, and it was so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop.

"But there are some who look at what we have done here and are filled with disgust," Dumbledore continued. "There are some who see a place where prejudice is not tolerated and become consumed with hatred. These people cannot even go about their daily lives without feeling the need to destroy and to break down. Now, I am not telling you these things, because I do not think that you know of whom I speak. On the contrary, I am telling you this, because these very same people are coming today to Hogwarts to try to tear down everything we have done here." At this, a gasp rose up around the tables with a noticeable silence from around the Slytherin table. However, Dumbledore did not allow this to impede his flow.

"Tonight, Voldemort and his followers will storm the castle, attempting to wreak the kind of havoc that is the only peace they know. Some of you may want to stay and fight. That is only natural, but I must say that for the sake of keeping my students alive, I will only allow those students who are above the age of sixteen to stay in the castle. The rest of you will be split up and taken by teachers to secret locations that only I will know the location of. This will ensure that your positions will not be compromised and that you will remain safe. I know that many of you will be frightened by these words, as humans are so often scared of the unknown, but remember that Voldemort thrives on fear, and you must not let it rule your actions." Now, his voice took on a more somber note.

"I realize that some of you may find yourself on the other side of this battle, siding with the Death Eaters even as they come here to pillage and plunder. I will not restrain you or force you into hiding. But I will ask that you stay here until the battle begins. One advantage that I am not willing to forgo is the knowledge that they still believe this to be a surprise attack. So you may join your compatriots for no cause is legitimate if there have been some coerced into joining it. Just realize what you are fighting against and remember those who for so many years have been your loyal companions." Dumbledore reached his hand forwards and grabbed hold once again of the goblet in front of him. "To Hogwarts," he intoned, rising it above his head.

"To Hogwarts," the rest of the student body repeated, raising their goblets as well. They watched as Dumbledore stepped down from the podium to make his way back to his seat alongside the other teachers. Even though they knew the speech was over, it was a full two minutes before anyone managed to speak much less take a spoonful of any of the food still sitting on the table. Even the Slytherins sat in relative silence on their side of the room. But as with all silences, it was eventually broken, as people began to hurriedly talk about the night that was going to change their lives.

"I can't believe Dumbledore's letting the Slytherins just leave like that," Ron said, as he reached for the bowl heaped high with mashed potatoes. "I mean, I know he had to do something with them, but to let them fight?"

"Ron, Dumbledore knows he can't force anyone to do anything," Hermione reminded him. "I just wonder if this is what they want," she continued trailing off.

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked from her seat next to Harry, where they sat casually with his arm draped across her shoulders.

"Dumbledore's giving them a choice," Hermione responded, taking a sip from her glass of pumpkin juice. "And I don't think that's something they're used to getting. They don't have to leave, but it's what they're used too, blindly following after Voldemort, that is. This is their chance to turn around, but I wonder if any of them are strong enough to take it."

"I don't think Malfoy looks like he's considering anything," Ron replied, looking over to the Slytherin table where Malfoy was joking around with Crabbe and Goyle. "Bastard probably can't wait to shoot a few curses at us," he continued, as everyone looked pointedly away from Lily. Ron noticed the awkwardness and hurriedly turned to the girl who was looking down at her plate in silence. "Sorry, Lily," he started. "But you have to admit that he treated you terribly."

"Yeah, right bastard he was," Lily said quietly before she moved her untouched plate out of the way and pulled herself off of the bench. "I've got to go," she continued. "Potions homework." It didn't take a genius to figure out that it wasn't an impossibly difficult assignment from Snape that was bothering her, and a few seconds after she left, James got up as well to follow her out.

"I'll see you all soon," he told the rest and ran down the length of the Great Hall and caught up with her at the entrance hall right outside of the Great Hall. She was sitting at the bottom of one of the staircases, and James walked over and sat down besides her. He figured that she would speak when she felt like it and merely sat beside her, smoothing her long hair with his fingers.

"You'd think it wouldn't affect me this much," Lily finally said after a few minutes, as she looked out at the wall across from the stairway. "I mean, it's been a week, and it's not like he doesn't deserve what everyone says about him. I just . . ." she trailed off.

"You just still have feelings for him," James finished. "Lily, I understand completely, and you should know that I'll be there for you and I can wait." Though he tried to sound optimistic, he all of a sudden felt a sinking feeling that he tried to hide from Lily. He was thus surprised when Lily turned to look at him suddenly with an odd expression on her face.

"No, James, it's not that," she responded with a sad smile. "It's just I don't think I can fight him," she finished.

"What do you mean?" James asked, genuinely confused. Liking him still, he could understand, but this? "Are you scared of him?"

"I wish it was only that," Lily answered. "Listen, James, have you ever been driving alongside a road and seen a deer that's been hit lying there looking at you with these eyes full of pain?"

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with Malfoy?" James said.

"The night I was at his house, he was that deer," Lily responded. "I know he did a lot of wrong things, but I've never seen someone look that vulnerable. It felt almost like he was a little kid." She paused for a second and then looked down at the cold stone floor. "Merlin, this sounds stupid, doesn't it? I mean, here I am worried about hurting Draco Malfoy who probably wouldn't bat an eyelash before giving me the Crucio."

"Lily," James shook his head. "I'd call you a lot of things but never stupid. If you don't want to fight Malfoy, you don't have to. We can be on the other side of the castle if you want or if that's not good enough, I'll snag the Marauder's Map from Harry and make sure that he's far away."

"Thanks James," Lily said and rested her head against his shoulder. "It means a lot to me." They sat like that for a few minutes before Lily made a sudden movement, and James looked down at her curiously.

"You know what I just realized?" Lily asked, and James shook his head. "You sounded a bit worried there when you thought I might still like him," she answered.

"Getting a little full of yourself there, Lily?" he asked, with his eyebrows raised, and he looked down to see that Lily was grinning.

"Just seeing if there were any cracks in your tough guy exterior," Lily replied.

"Exterior?" James laughed. "I'm tough all the way through." He looked down again and saw that Lily was trying to hold back a smile. "Admit it," he said. "You find me irresistible."

"And you were calling me full of myself," Lily said, sitting up and giving him a small whack on the arm.

"Guess we make a pretty good couple then," James replied, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"Guess so," Lily answered, rolling her eyes, though she was still smiling. "Hey, do you think we'll remember this when we go back?" she asked. "Or do you think we'll go back to hating each other?"

"I don't know," James replied truthfully. "But right now, it seems pretty unforgettable."

"Yeah," Lily answered. "It does, doesn't it?" There was nothing really much to say after that, so they sat there on the bottom of the steps, holding each other, and feeling like they were absolutely where they were supposed to be. However, all such moments come to an end, and the rush of students coming out from lunch in the Great Hall forced them to go their separate ways. James was dragged off by Ron to go over some of the castle's defenses, while Lily was forced to come up with some diversions until that night. They gave each other a brief hug before they went away, and then, they were both swept up in the crowd.

00000

"For either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives." They were the words running over and over again in Harry's mind, as he sat in the abandoned Owlery while various school owls swooped and dove overhead. It was not the most ideal location, but it offered a bird's eye view of the castle that Harry had long called home and it was empty, a necessary provision. Ginny had offered him her company for a walk around the grounds, but Harry had told her he needed to be alone for a bit, and she had understood, realizing the gravity of the situation.

A person with a twisted sense of humor might have found it funny. He finally ended up with the girl of his dreams to find that only a few days later he must murder or be murdered. Would Ginny be able to look at him the same way tomorrow when he had Voldemort's blood on his hands or would she be mourning over his dead body? It was the question he didn't want to answer, and he found himself scared by his own mortality.

Seventeen years old he was, and he had to admit that it had been a good life. He had gotten to know two of the best friends he would ever have, been able to study under the greatest headmasters Hogwarts had ever seen, and had managed to survive more scrapes than he could count, mostly by the intelligence of his friends and a bit of luck. But was he satisfied? If life ended tonight, would he feel that he had done all that he could in those short seventeen years? He would never have a family, he would never grow old, and he would never get to see a world free of the oppression of Voldemort.

But those thoughts seemed selfish, he realized, when he remembered what his death would mean. With his death the last hope of killing Voldemort and ending his quest for both immortality and ultimate power would be destroyed. The world would be full of darkness with little chance for renewal. It seemed almost too much for one person to have such an impact. Surely, there was someone else more talented and more capable of destroying Voldemort than he was. He was only a boy, while Voldemort was old enough to almost be his grandfather. Why had the prophesy referred to him then? Why not Dumbledore or another wizard far more powerful than he who had a far greater chance of defeating Voldemort and thus saving the world? But in the midst of all these thoughts was no sense of bitterness. Instead, there was just confusion and the realization of the weight that had been thrust upon him.

I must defeat him, Harry thought to himself. To save the world, I must become a murderer tonight and kill the most evil wizard the world has ever seen.

Yet the unanswered question still remained. What would such an action do to him?

00000

It was mid-afternoon when Lily found herself walking down the lake by herself. She had tried reading for a bit in the common room, but with all the other students talking loudly about the fight that night and all the ruckus occurring as they practiced old spells, she knew she had to go somewhere quiet. As the temperatures outside were quite low, she had figured that the lake would most likely be free of other people, and so she set off, carrying a book and a heavy jacket in case of a strong breeze off the water.

However, walking around the last bend in the path, she discovered that there was one other person who had sought the solitude of the lake in favor of the company of the other students. Sitting at the river's edge with a scowl across his pale face was Draco Malfoy himself, uncharacteristically separated from his Slytherin friends. Lily could see him tossing stones into the river, each one carelessly thrown in a different direction. It would have been tempting to turn around and walk back to the castle especially putting into account her earlier unease regarding him, but Lily had already made the walk down, and she was determined to enjoy her time at the lake regardless of the company.

Besides, it wasn't as if they had interacted at all since his return to school, a few hours after she had walked back from Hogsmede. The next time she had gone to Potions, Snape had tersely informed her that she would return to her original partner James, while Malfoy would partner with Nott. Of course, James had been elated, and while Lily was still angry with Malfoy and glad that she wouldn't have to endure several hours a week in an awkward silence, it still hurt that he wanted to be rid of her so badly that he would talk to Snape about it. The few times they met in the hallways were accompanied by strict ignoring and looking away, so all in all, Lily had not spoken a word to him since their showdown in Malfoy Manor, which is why it was so strange that she felt such an aversion to fighting him. It wasn't like he didn't deserve it, and she knew the rest of her friends hated him with a deadly passion, but in her heart, she knew she didn't anymore. She more felt sorry for him now even though she knew that he would scoff at her pity. She just couldn't get the picture of him curled up in pain on the floor out of her head, and with that image in her mind, she could no more attack him than hit a helpless animal.

Half expecting him to get up and leave and half expecting him to yell a curse or hex her way, she walked down and sat against the side of a tree that was hanging over the water. Surprisingly, he responded by just continuing the endless onslaught of stones, creating a vast pattern of ripples that went across the entire lake, as if he hadn't seen her walk over, though she knew he had by the way the muscles in his neck had tensed up.

She wasn't going to engage him in conversation, so she pulled out the book she had brought, an especially dense tome on the history of Hogwarts that Hermione had recommended to her, and settled into her spot next to the tree. However, a few pages into a chapter concerning the history of the spell that made Hogwarts unplottable, Lily realized that she was reading the same sentence over and over and still getting nothing out of it. A quick scan of the rest of the book showed that it was just as long and overwrought as that early chapter, and with an impulsive thought, she brought her arm back and threw the book towards the water. It soared through the air and descended satisfyingly into the current with a resounding plop. A slight coughing sound to the right of her startled her, and she looked over to see Malfoy staring at her with a mixture of surprise and irritation.

"Just because Hogwarts is going to hell tonight doesn't give you the right to vandalize school property," he said, in a superior manner that drove Lily crazy. After a week's worth of ignoring, and the first words he offered were spoken as if to a small child. It was ridiculous, and while she still may have felt pity for him, but it didn't stop her from feeling indignant at his words.

"You're one to talk about vandalizing school property considering you and your bunch of thugs are coming here to destroy Hogwarts," she retorted without thinking and was a bit scared as she watched his face darken. She had forgotten about how dangerous he could be and considering they were alone near a deserted lake, she knew she should be a little careful.

"Sorry, I forgot I was talking to the mudblood queen of self-righteousness," he answered, his eyes glinting dangerously.

"And I forgot I was talking to the pseudo-rapist king of inadequacy," Lily shot back, angered by his words and quickly forgetting her earlier resolve to tread carefully. Merlin, she was beginning to regret her earlier resolve not to fight him. "What are you doing down here anyways? Checking out the territory? Looking for a good spot to kill first years?"

"Try finding a good place to think," he answered bitterly. "At least until you showed up. Sick of your pathetic new boyfriend already? Stalking me instead?"

"Maybe I'm here for the exact same reason," she replied. "And for your information, James and I are doing fine."

"Lovely," Malfoy responded sarcastically. "Invite me to the wedding, will you?"

"What's wrong with you?" Lily asked, finally realizing that his bitterness came not from her presence. "Why are you so angry?"

"I'm not angry," Malfoy said irritably, looking out over the water, and Lily felt an overwhelming urge to laugh at the determined expression on his face. "And if I was, it might be because of the presence of a certain mudblood."

"No, I don't think that's it," Lily replied, all vestiges of her earlier anger gone. "I think maybe Dumbledore's words might have struck a nerve with you earlier."

"You are clearly delusional," he answered, though she noticed there was a slight tightening around his mouth as he looked out over the water.

"Hermione was talking earlier about all you Slytherins having a choice," Lily continued, as if he hadn't spoken. "And I think you realized that. So now you have two different paths you could follow. You could attack the castle with your fellow Dark Eaters, or you could enter Dumbledore's protection. The problem is that you know which one is the right path, but . . ."

"Shut up," Malfoy said, interrupting her. "There is no such a choice, and I feel no such way. You keep going on about choices, but I see only one in front of me, so . . ."

"Malfoy, join us," Lily said impulsively, effectively stopping him midsentence with her words. "Join us and be free. This might be your last chance, so stop going on about being locked into this damned terrible destiny and make your own decisions."

"But would I be free?" he asked. "It's just another cause with a different leader. We're all slaves to someone even if we don't realize it. Forgive me for picking the one that will end up on top."

"Look at me," Lily told him, but he continued to look at the water. "Look at me," she repeated, and he slowly turned, his the grey in his eyes shining in the light of the son. "Do I look like a slave to you?"

"No, you look like a corpse," he turned away again, and Lily felt a sudden sensation of coldness. "Voldemort will win, and I don't intend to be a casualty."

"There're worse things in the world than dying for love," Lily answered quietly, but Malfoy shook his head.

"That's bull shit," he said quietly. "If you loved someone, you'd stick around."

"If there's anyone left for you to stick around with," Lily murmured and looked out at the lake where shadows were beginning to form across its broad expanse. She realized how late it was getting and that she needed to get back to the castle. "One last chance, Draco," she said, for the first time using his given name.

"Stay away from Fenir Greyback. He tends to go for the muggle-borns," was all he said, and she sighed and pulled herself up.

"Watch yourself Malfoy," she said and began to walk away. But at the last second, she turned back and whispered, "Draco, I forgive you." She wasn't sure if he heard, because he didn't say anything back, but her heart felt more at ease as she made her way back up towards the castle. There she would find a worried James who had looked everywhere for her, and a Gryffindor common room still hectic with the anxiety of all the worried students, but unlike the time when she had left it earlier, she finally felt at peace.

00000

It was six o'clock when the first Death Eaters appeared on the lawn at Hogwarts. They were hooded as usual, preferring not to expose their true identity, as if maybe the concept of shame still remained, and they found the castle just as they imagined it, a huge beacon rising out from above the lake. But while those at Hogwarts viewed it as a place of safe haven, the Death Eaters saw something that needed to be destroyed, and they approached hastily, overcome by the bloodlust that came with a new target.

They found the castle unusually quiet, but this provoked no alarms. They figured that in the midst of Lord Voldemort's rising, there would be a somber air around the castle, and they had received no alerts from the Slytherins inside that there was any knowledge of their attack. They knew that the students would be at dinner at this time, and it would be an easy victory, a simple slaughter, as the students sat together eating and drinking, completely defenseless and completely at their mercy. Almost a shame, how easy it would be. It was the school where they had found each other, where they had learned about the mission of Lord Voldemort, and where they finally found their calling in life, and it was going to be easy to destroy.

One Death Eater, Vincent Crabbe, stepped on a tree branch, as he jogged towards the castle, but they paid the loud cracking noise it made no mind. There was to be no stopping them tonight, and as they all began to run towards the castle, more and more tree branches were stepped on, ending their formerly stealthy approach. They soon resembled an angry mob, and even if pitchforks had been replaced by wands, the anger and lack of rational thinking they felt still called to mind the attitudes of those on the old witch hunts, a bit of irony they failed to recognize.

Hanging near the back of the group, however, was Lucius Malfoy who preferred not to associate with the more rowdy members of the group. He knew Voldemort would not be pleased with their approach, and he tried to distance himself from those who thought they were so powerful that they could give away the element of surprise. Even Voldemort would not underestimate their enemy to such a degree. Lucius knew that they had had a fairly easy time of it entering the castle grounds, and it made him uneasy. He did not think it would be the easy victory that his fellow Death Eaters predicted, so he let them go ahead. Let them be the first casualties, he thought. He would bide his time and wait for the Dark Lord, who would be arriving in about a half hour's time, so he could kill Potter personally after his followers had gained control of the castle. Lucius never would have spoken it aloud, but he found Voldemort's actions cowardly. A real leader would be there right now, disciplining his troops and never allowing this amount of chaos. But instead, Lucius was forced to watch Nott stumble around while he muttered about the number of mudbloods he would kill while Goyle gleefully set trees on fire as he ran. It was madness.

00000

But despite the chaos that was occurring only a few hundred yards away, the castle was filled with a quiet determination that was calm and collected as it awaited the approaching attackers. Most of its inhabitants having already been corralled into the various secret passageways around the school, it appeared almost deserted. The rest of the students were spread out around the castle with the majority in the Great Hall while the Slytherins gathered in their common room, awaiting the opportunity to join the attackers.

James and Lily had found themselves guarding a first floor corridor where some ground level windows would prove an easy entrance for the Death Eaters. It was an uneasy feeling, just standing against the cold stone wall and waiting for something to happen. They could hear the loud noises of the approaching Death Eaters and could tell that they were probably going to go through the front door first. Still, there was no guarantee that some might try for the windows, and so they stood their ground, waiting in silence while a nearby clock ticked the seconds away.

A sudden crash startled them a few seconds later, and they realized that the front doors had been broken down. Screams could be heard from the front end of the castle, and the two stepped closer to each other as if they were searching for some hidden strength that could only be achieved through the fortitude of the other. It was suddenly very cold in the hallway, and Lily didn't know if that was from an actual drop in temperature or from nerves. She felt like a little girl again. It all of the sudden seemed ridiculous to imagine that she could defend a castle with a small wooden stick in her hand. She was only a teenager, and they were fighting full-grown adults who would feel no remorse in killing her for her 'inferior' blood.

"Are you doing okay?" James asked, as if he could sense her terror. His eyes gleamed in the darkness providing the only light Lily could see in the deserted corridor.

"I'm fine," Lily returned. She wasn't about to let on about her fear. It was much easier to try to be brave when others didn't realize how scared you were. Plus, she didn't want James to worry about taking care of her, not when they could be attacked at any moment.

"Okay, cause . . ." James started, but he never got to finish that thought, because the sound of footsteps could be heard coming their way. It was a quick staccato of beats, and Lily could tell the person was moving quickly and that he or she was alone.

"Stand behind me," James whispered, assuming a protective stance in front of her, though Lily had not gone through a week of exhausting training to hide and let James do all the fighting, so she drew her wand and moved a bit towards the center of the hallway, so she could attack as well.

A few seconds later, a small glow appeared at the end of the hallway that illuminated a pale white face with hooded eyes. Tightly curled black hair surrounded the grinning face, and she almost seemed to prance down the corridor in a manner that made her seem almost demonic. Her long black robe seemed to flow around her, almost like there was an invisible wind in the corridor making it move.

"Do I see children out alone?" she said, in an almost sing-song manner. "Parents should have taught you better, shouldn't they have?" she continued, cackling to herself. "I ought to teach you a lesson," she added with a flourish of her wand. A stream of light came out and hit Lily on the arm, making her gasp with the burning pain, as a red welt formed where the spell had hit her. James growled and set a curse back her way, but she easily deflected it, and it hit the wall, creating a smoking hole in the side of the corridor.

"Touched a nerve, I see," she laughed, a high-pitched evil sound. "Am I correct in saying that I have encountered young love? They won't let it last, you know. They tortured Rodolphus until he had blood dripping out of his ears, and now, it's only me left. Maybe, I'll let one of you two live. See what it's like. See how it is to be alone. But now, I'm never alone," she laughed again, and Lily could only guess that this woman was on the brink of madness. But still, it would be stupid to underestimate her, especially when she followed her laughter by sending another curse their way which James blocked just in time.

"Get the hell away from us," James replied evenly, but Lily could tell that it was only for show and that he wasn't sure of what he was dealing with.

"Such courage, such spunk," the woman giggled. "I love it. It almost reminds me of my cousin. You'd love him. He was one of those brave bastards who wind up getting killed for some stupid cause or another. Lucky me, I was the one to do the deed."

"Who was your cousin?" Lily asked, realizing she was probably falling into the woman's trap, but at the same time, feeling that it was something she needed to know.

"Oh, a very unfortunate Sirius Black," the woman smiled widely, showing all her teeth. "And what a prize to add to my collection of victims." Lily was genuinely shocked, but before she could react, she was stunned by James who was standing to her right, shaking.

"You killed Sirius?" he asked quietly. "You killed Sirius?" he repeated louder. "Go to hell, you slimy bitch," he yelled, running forwards, shooting off hex after hex at the woman who merely laughed as she blocked them all.

"Passion, but not much discipline," she shook her head as she watched him approach. "Try harder. You're almost boring me."

"Shut up," James said, stopping a few feet in front of her, his composure regained despite his heavy breathing. "You killed my best friend, so don't even think you can talk to me about fucking discipline."

"Do you want to hear how he begged for mercy as he died?" the woman laughed.

"Stupefy," James grit his teeth together and yelled, but the woman blocked it easily. Yet, the spell was only a feint. A second after she had released her shield, James sent a silent spell her way that caught her off guard. She was blasted into one of the nearby classrooms where her signature laugh could still be heard emanating from the room.

"Ooh, tricksy one," she called out. "Don't think you can hide. I will come find you."

"Lily, you have to run," James told Lily quickly, as she stood there shaking. "I'm going to go in there and finish this, but I don't want you anywhere near her."

"James, no," Lily answered him, trying to conquer her fear. "We face her together."

"Lily please," James begged. "I have to do this for Sirius's sake, and I don't want her to hurt you."

"Should have listened to your girlfriend," came the cackling voice again, though closer this time. Lily and James turned and saw that she was all of a sudden standing in the doorway of the classroom with her wand in her hand. James tried to raise his wand, but it was too late. She muttered a spell that neither of them knew and all of a sudden James was propelled into the classroom.

"Lily, get out of here," James yelled, as he was flung through the air, and Lily heard a sickening crack.

"James!" Lily screamed, and she tried to run towards the room, but the woman blocked her way. Lily tried to claw her way past, but the woman was too strong and pushed her back.

"Remember, they never let it last," the woman said, and Lily got one look into her bloodshot eyes before the woman gave her a last shove that sent her into the opposing wall. She watched as the woman screeched with laughter one more time and tried to get up before the woman could get away. But by the time she had shakily gotten to her feet, the woman had already turned around and entered the classroom where James was. It took only a few steps to cross the corridor, but by the time she was there, the door had already been locked with an ominous click.

"Alohamora," Lily shouted with increasing desperation, though the door remained locked. "Alohamora, damn it," she tried again, kicking the door to see if it would budge. "Damn you," she whispered to the mysterious woman. "If you hurt James, I will hunt you down and kill you myself." She had never known herself to be capable of such thoughts, but right now, she was completely filled with blind rage combined with a sense of growing futility. She had never hated anyone as much as she hated that crazy woman, and she knew that if the woman so much as touched James, she'd hunt her down herself.

She leaned with her forehead pressed against the wall for a few seconds, trying to catch her breath, before she turned and ran down the corridor towards the Great Hall. If there was nothing she could do here, then she would go join the others and do as much damage to the Death Eaters that she could. She wasn't scared anymore. If James could face the woman who destroyed his best friend's life in a deserted classroom, she could take on a few Death Eaters. Death Eaters, be damned. She felt like she could take on Voldemort himself.


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: It's been a long two years, since this had been updated. Now in the summer after my Sophomore year at college, I came back, and realized that I don't want this dwindling into another one of those unfinished works in progress. I am so close to finishing, and I realize that you as the readers deserve an ending. I know this story has many holes and things that don't make sense, such as why Voldemort doesn't know Lily and James are at Hogwarts and a few shifts in character, and I do hope to fix those problems at some point, but I hope the rest of you can bear in mind the problems but at the same time, enjoy the story for what it is, my one chance to tell a story that has been on my mind for a while. So hope you enjoy, this story will one day be complete.**

Chapter 18

Click. It was the sound of a lock turning, and to James Potter, the sound of desperation. When Bellatrix's spell had propelled him into the classroom, he had felt the sickening feeling of flying above the slick floor before slamming into the wall with a sickening crunch. He had dropped his wand during his flight, and as he struggled to open his eyes, he realized that it would be difficult to find in the dimly lit classroom. So utterly defenseless and with a pounding in his head and an ache in his back, he took a few seconds to get his bearings, essentially realizing that he was out in the open and needed to find a place to hide before the woman turned back towards him to finish him off.

Ignoring the pain coursing through his body, he grit his teeth and crawled behind a row of desks, hoping that he would be difficult to see in the sparsely lit classroom. He realized now that it was one of the lesser used Defense Against the Dark Arts rooms, which he gathered from the body of a grotesque looking creature which was grinning down at him from a ledge above. He tried to ignore it and focused on his immediate surroundings. There was a stack of old textbooks lying against the wall, and he was essentially hidden from view by the row of desks that were closest from the wall. But he would not be hidden for long especially since the woman who had just turned that cursed lock was just turning around.

Bellatrix Lestrange, Dumbledore had said the name of Sirius's murderer was, and while James had certainly felt feelings of anger and hate towards Malfoy, it was nothing compared to the white hot rage he felt coursing towards his veins as he gazed towards her black-clothed figure. She had killed Sirius, murdered him in cold blood, and now planned to do the same to him. And if she succeeded, would she attempt to move along to Lily, shooting an "Avada Kedavra" at her as she fled the scene or killing her with an easily thrown knife? She was so consumed by her madness that he doubted that there was anything she wouldn't do, and he was seriously wondering if there was any way he could at least ensure that she never left this room again. All these thoughts circled around in his head, as she frowned at the dark classroom and tried to detect where he was.

"Playing hide and seek?" she continued in her high pitched voice, as she stood on her tip toes in an attempt to peer over the desks and see where he was. "Making things a bit difficult for me, aren't we, love?" She smiled as she spoke and twirled her wand in her hand. It was almost like this was a game for her and James was only a pawn to be taken out. "Good thing I'm good at games," she cackled gleefully, as she lifted her wand hand in the air. "Lumos," she declared, and James was forced to shield his eyes as the wand's tip erupted in light, shining an illuminating glow throughout the classroom and lighting up the rows of desks as well as the empty space in front.

Luckily, James had been preparing for such an action, and as soon as his eyes recovered, he brought back his arm holding one of the textbooks from the floor and sent it flying towards Bellatrix's wand arm.

"Merlin's pants," Bellatrix screamed, as the book hit her arm, and she was forced to drop her wand. "Are you mad, boy?"

"Not as mad as you are," James muttered, jumping up. In the light caused by her spell, he had seen the thin line of his wand only a few feet away in the open area in front of the desks, and he lunged for it, wincing as his bruised ribs made contact with the floor. Wand in hand, he managed to roll back in between the desks before Bellatrix could pick up her wand, which was still emanating a glow from where it laid on the ground.

She bent down and quickly snatched it from the ground. "No use prolonging what's going to happen," she said straightening up, and adjusting her voluminous robes. "You think you're being tricksy, love, but you are just prolonging your suffering," she continued, the volume of her voice decreasing with every word. "Oh, they prolonged my Rodolphus's suffering. They made me watch. Unfortunately, your little girlfriend skittered away or I'd make her watch me peel the skin off your toes." With each word, James felt himself shaking even more, though he did not know if it was from anger or pain or both. He knew she felt no restraints and would torture him the worst way she knew how if she could only get a hand on him. Yet, he felt more fear for Lily than for himself. If Bellatrix managed to get out of here and reached Lily . . . But no, he would never let that happen.

"Not if I can do anything about it," he yelled, pulling himself out from behind the row of desks and aiming his wand at her. "Expelliarmus," he continued as the magic escaped from the wand and made its way towards Bellatrix.

"Silly boy," she said, easily blocking the spell with the wand she now held in her hand. "Don't you know there's nothing you can do to stop me? Voldemort trusts me with everything. I'm his right hand man, as it were," she laughed. "And you think with your pitiful little spell and your weak little love that you can stop me. I want to tell you a story." With each word, she walked closer to James who was still propping himself up and continuing to shoot spell after spell at her. Impedimenta, Confringo, Confundus: he tried everything he could think of, but she easily deflected each and every one of them without even attempting to send out any of her own. She continued walking until she was standing right above his place on the ground. He tried one last "Impedimenta" before he stopped, defeated. "Keep on going," she laughed. "I like it when you play rough. No?"she questioned when James just stared up at her with his wand raised. "Good boy. You're going to make this easy."

She moved so fast that he barely saw her wand hand move, and he found his legs locked together, so that he couldn't move them, and then found himself propelled once again towards the wall. But this time, he didn't slump over like last time but was instead held by magical bonds, making him stand up straight against the wall, even though he still couldn't move his legs. He could however, move his arms, but he figured sending another spell her way would be a waste of time unless he could manage to distract her somehow. "There, now you're a proper audience, and there's no way you can run off again," she smiled. "I want you to hear about Rodolphus. I want you to hear what they did to me."

It wasn't a story James particularly wanted to hear, but he hoped it would prolong some of the time before she moved in for the kill. She remembered her little anecdote about peeling the skin off of his toes and wondered how she planned on killing him. He hadn't really thought about dying before, but now confronted with a madwoman, he wondered if he had little choice in the matter. A small little voice in the back of his head was reminding him that there was no way he could die. Dumbledore had said himself that he had seen James and Lily return to their own time, and it wasn't like that could happen if he died in this one? But it was hard to keep hope in ideas like that when he was faced with a talented but crazy witch who could probably kill him with one hand while pulling the wings off of butterflies with the other.

All he hoped for was that Lily had managed to run as far away from here as possible. If she could find her way to the others, hopefully she would find the others and maybe just maybe find her way back to the past. He shuddered at the little time they had had together since they had gotten here. She had spent so much time with Malfoy that he felt that it was only in the past week or so that they had really begun to connect. It hadn't been enough time, but he doubted that if he had spent his whole life with Lily since childhood that it would have been enough time. His only wish right now was to see her one last time, that and to kill the woman in front of him and avenge the pain she had caused so many. He barely noticed that she had started her story.

"It was years ago," she started, sitting on the edge of the teacher's desk as she looked across at him. "And I've been waiting years to tell his story, to let unworthy wretches like you know what really happened to him," she looked almost pensive while she told her tale, an abrupt switch from the cackling hyena that she had been in the hallway. But then again, this was the story that defined who she had become and what she was today. "We were in Azkaban. Oh, I know they threaten naughty boys like you with Azkaban when you don't eat your porridge, but little do you know what it's really like, with the dementors that get inside your head, and the shrieking, oh the shrieking, that will attack your mind and make you see terrible things, terrible things. I saw my mother dying every day, I heard her cries of pain, as she suffered, but I would take back those cries if they would bring me back Rodolphus. They took him one day, they wanted to see if he would talk, reveal the names of some Death Eaters. He wouldn't though, always loyal to the end, my Rodolphus. So they brought him back to the hallway right in front of the cell. I thought they were bringing him back to me, decided to give him back, but that wasn't their plan that night. No, they had turned their focus to someone else. Do you know who they wanted answers from then?" she asked, staring straight at James.

James could only shake his head, though guessing that there could only be one answer.

"No, of course you don't know," Bellatrix continued, more talking to herself than to the boy across from her. "You all think the Ministry of Magic is a perfect little organization where the laws are just, and people always follow all the rules. Well, think again. Apparently, the rules are expendable when they need to be. That little logic allowed them to use the Cruciatus on Rodolphus as I watched. They thought I would give them answers, as I watched him writhe on the ground, but little did they know how deep my loyalty lie. I would never betray the Dark Lord, not even to say Rodolphus, but when they realized that, they still didn't stop. They continued torturing him, until there was blood running all over his face, and he couldn't even breathe anymore. Then, they left him there and released a press release that unfortunately my Rodolphus had choked on his dinner. Rodolphus choke on his dinner? No one could be that stupid that they would believe one of the Dark Lord's strongest supporters could be brought down so easily. But no one cared. No one asked questions. No one sought revenge, until now, until I could finally bring some of my own, on you," she finished, leveling the wand at James's eyes. "Now, I can come over and make you suffer just as they did to him."

"Then come over and face me," James answered, taking a quick look up at the ceiling above him. "And let my feet go. You're as much of a coward as the Ministry if you think it's a fair fight if I can't move half my body."

"Who said I wanted a fair fight?" Bellatrix responded, standing up from her spot on the desk and beginning to walk closer to him with her wand still directed at his eyes. "I don't care if you have a chance or not. I just want revenge."

"Then revenge is what you're going to get. Revenge for your murder of Sirius," James returned, bringing up his wand. She moved her wand fast already midway through a defensive spell before she realized what he had realized only seconds before, that the ledge holding the body of the dead creature was right above him. He had not aimed his wand at her, as she had thought but at the ledge, and the force of the spell propelled it out from the wall and directly at Bellatrix. She only had time for a small gasp before the ledge rammed into her stomach, and she fell to the floor, her head hitting the ground with a painful sounding crack.

Watching her to make sure she wasn't moving, James reversed the spell on his legs allowing him to go free and fell to his knees as he felt his legs go limp. He felt as if all his energy had been somehow drained from his body, and he wearily used his hands to pull himself up. All the adrenaline that had kept him going had suddenly disappeared, and he reached forward to grab onto the ledge that was now lying on the ground, propped up by the body of Bellatrix. He moved his way forward and peered down at the body of the witch who was not moving, though he could tell she was still alive by the slight rise and fall of her chest.

He wasn't sure what to do. Here was the body of a witch who had terrorized countless people before him, who had murdered his best friend, and who if allowed to live, would do all she could to hurt the people he loved. How could he walk away?

It only took one breath, one simple breath to gather the energy to raise his wand and aim it at the witch below him. "Avada Kedavra," he spoke and watched the green light arc towards the prone figure. He had heard once that the Unforgiveable Curses only worked when you truly meant them. His sentiment must have been clear, as her chest rose no more. One flash of green, and the light left her eyes leaving her a hollow shell.

Not wanting to stay and think about what he had done, James turned away, moving slowly towards the door. There were all kinds of people who were heroes. There was his son Harry who would later face Voldemort in an epic showdown that would lead to one of their deaths, and there was Dumbledore who fought to protect his school even when evil did all it could to thwart his efforts. And then, there were people like him, people just trying to get by and protect the people they loved. Perhaps, that was all he really could do. Fighting back the sensation of numbness, he opened the door and left the classroom, a body behind him and the rest of the battle looming ahead.

00000

Hogwarts was filled with the sounds of spells, screams of pain, and the dull sensation as bodies hit the floor, as the Death Eaters fought their way inside. They seemed to have little regard for the age or status of their victims, as they murdered students alongside members of the Order. However, each spell they cast was returned by the defenders of the castle, as they fought to preserve what little order they could. There seemed little hope for a stalemate, as either side believed in their cause strong enough that they would die for it. It all came down to the showdown which seemed ever imminent: the final battle between Harry Potter and Voldemort himself, but when that would be, few could guess. Voldemort had not been seen yet on the premises and Harry was busy fighting off Death Eaters in a third floor corridor along with Ginny at his side.

Harry had tried to convince her to leave, but only half-heartedly, as she wouldn't have been the woman he loved if he knew she would have abandoned them at the eleventh hour. Shooting spells off at a rate that wouldn't seem possible, they seemed united as a team that almost seemed unbreakable, each covering each other's weaknesses and protecting each other from harm. Yet, their unity was broken when a Death Eater came out of nowhere and shot a stream of red light straight at Ginny, as Harry occupied himself with a Death Eater on his left. He could only stand and watch as the red haired girl collapsed beside him.

"Ginny!" he screamed, trying to reach out to her while continue to shoot spells off at the man on his left whose steady stream of spells showed no signs of abating. "No, Ginny, please," he murmured, trying to see if she was still moving. "I swear if she's dead," he muttered, "that you will never see the light of day again."

The Death Eater who had hit her merely laughed and shot off some spells at Harry who managed to block them at the last second before turning back to his original attacker. While he was adept at wandwork, he knew he would stand no chance against two Death Eaters, and if Ginny was dead . . . But no, he couldn't think that. Not right now.

"We've got you, Harry Potter," the one on his left snarled. "Put down your wand, and we will stop our attack. The Dark Lord wants you alive for whatever reason, but we will be forced to slaughter you if you continue to fight." He held up his wand menacingly, and the light from one of the torches on the wall reflected against the blacks of his eyes that were the only thing visible behind a silver mask. Harry took a breath in and was about to speak before he was momentarily caught off guard.

"Like hell he'll stop," came a voice from the right and a bright streak of light shot into the room knocking over the Death Eater who had just spoken. Harry quickly recovered and shot a stunning spell at the other one who collapsed to the floor a few feet away from his compatriot. Harry looked up to see who his surprise savior was and was shocked to see Lily standing there, her face red with exertion and her hair flaming out around her face. "Well, don't just stand there," she continued, as if her surprise entry was a normal occurrence. "Ginny looks like she's pretty bad off."

"Right," Harry responded kneeling down and gently rolling over the body of his girlfriend. He was relieved to see that she was still breathing, though she was very pale. He looked up to see if Lily was still standing there and was surprised to see her bending down next to him.

"She's going to need the hospital wing," Lily said, checking the girl's pulse. "I don't know that much about injuries, but I don't think she's going to make it if we don't do something."

"I can take her there," Harry said, pulling Ginny up in his arms, but Lily held up a hand to stop him, and he stopped in surprise.

"I'll take her," she said. "Don't you have an evil Dark Lord to take out?" Harry stopped in mid action and looked at the girl who one would day become his mother.

"But Ginny . . ." he started to say but Lily interrupted him.

"Would want to know that you're doing the right thing," she answered. "Promise me. I know. I can do this. I made my way up here from the 1st floor. Don't think your little friend over there," she said motioning to the prone body on the floor, "is the first person I took out."

"Where's James?" Harry asked. "I'm surprised he's not here with you." He noticed the crestfallen expression that spread across her face, before she grit her teeth and hid it quickly from view.

"He was dragged into a classroom by Bellatrix Black," Lily said emotionlessly. "I had to stand there and watch knowing I could do nothing. But now is my chance to make things right."

"James is going to be okay," Harry responded easing Ginny down on the ground and putting an arm around her shoulder. "I'm still here right? You have to know that he makes it."

"I don't know anything anymore except that there's not going to be many conscious Death Eaters between here and the Hospital Wing," she replied, and Harry believed her. "Now, is there a way to make her lighter?"

"Yeah," Harry responded, casting a charm on Ginny that made her easy to carry and helping Lily put the prone body over her shoulder. "You can manage this, right?" he asked. "I'd never ask you to do this unless . . ."

"Unless you weren't the savior of the human race," Lily answered, and Harry managed a rueful smile.

"Bloody inconvenient, I'd say," he said, trying to get her to crack a smile, which she did, just barely.

"I'm proud to be related to you, Harry," she said before turning away with Ginny. "I wish I could have been there for you later on in life."

"You've been there enough," Harry responded, as she walked away. "More than you could ever know," he whispered, though by this point, she was far enough away that she probably couldn't have heard him.

00000

Maneuvering through the hallways with Ginny over her shoulder, Lily encountered few Death Eaters, though she knew she could have easily taken out any she encountered. It wasn't that she was more reckless than she had been before but with James gone from her, but her earlier sense of fear had almost completely gone away. All she cared about was defeating Voldemort, and if she had to blast away some Death Eaters at the same time, she would do what she could. It wasn't for nothing that she had been top in many of the classes back in her time, and even if she were nowhere near Hermione's level, she still had a few tricks up her sleeve. Though her confidence was not enough to make her cocky, and she tried to keep to the shadows and sneak up on any Death Eaters she encountered. All she had to do was make it to the Hospital Wing, deposit the girl, and reenter the fray. It would be a simple job, but as she began to climb one of the staircases, she began to let her guard go down. It wasn't until she heard a slight rustling above her that she started to raise her wand, but it was too late to try to counter-attack.

"Stupefy," came a loud voice, and a flash of red came dangerously close to her head. Lily probably could have managed to get out of the staircase and run away had she been by herself, but with Ginny, she was doomed. A second flash came, and Lily dodged it, but in doing so, she slipped and both she and Ginny fell painfully down the few stairs that she had already begun to climb. Landing in a heap at the bottom of the stairs, she attempted to scuttle out of the way, as she heard the footsteps descending. But it was too late for complete concealment, as she saw the bottom of a black cloak steadily make its way down the stairs and out the doorway followed by a second one. Pointing her wand up at the intruders, she put her body in front of Ginny's who she hoped had survived the fall in her unconscious state.

"I will hex you if you try anything," she said in a voice that she hoped seemed confident. "If you're smart, you'll just make your way up those stairs."

"If we're smart, we'll finish off a very defenseless looking girl," came the smooth voice of Lucius Malfoy, as he came into view, flanked Lily saw, by Draco, who was dressed all in black and would not even look at her. "Draco, am I wrong in saying that this is the girl who came to our house? What is she doing fighting on the side of our enemy? If you had any smarts girl, you would know where your allegiances should lie."

"Not with you," Lily responded before an extra spark of courage hit her. She would not let this bastard have the satisfaction of killing her without knowing the truth of who she really was. "And for the record, my name's not Elizabeth Banks," she said looking up at Lucius who cocked his head in curiosity. She noticed Draco had finally turned to look at her with a strange pleading look on his face, though she steadily ignored it. "It's Lily Evans, and I would rather enjoy killing you."

"Lily Evans?" Lucius said in surprise. "But it can't be. Draco, clear this up immediately. I don't know what kind of riffraff you've been having over to the manor these days, but it appears this girl is quite mad."

"She clearly doesn't know what she's talking about," Malfoy muttered, scuffing his toe against the stone. "I think we should leave. We're not in any danger here." Lily stared at him in surprise, wondering if he was actually trying to save her.

"Draco, what are you talking about?" Lucius glided in, cutting off his son. "She very clearly has threatened to kill us, and I think the students here need a sort of example about what can be tolerated." He smiled a saccharine grin, sweet on the outside but full of malice within. Lily could tell he relished the murder of anything he felt unworthy of existence, people, she realized, like her.

"Father, we're in the middle of a battle," Draco responded. "I don't think this is the time for examples."

"But it's the perfect time," Lucius replied. "What will they think when they see her body hanging from the ceiling in the Great Hall. It'll be a clear reminder that the New World will have no room for sedition or mad women."

"No!" Draco said before realizing his mistake and blanching. He all of a sudden refused to look at his father.

"No?" Lucius questioned in a voice that was both soft and terrifying.

"I mean, why expend perfectly good energy killing one girl when the girl behind her is almost dead. We could take her instead," Draco said, recovering himself and waving a hand at Ginny in a gesture that Lily was almost convinced was nonchalant.

"I won't let you touch her," Lily responded, raising her wand a few inches until it was pointed directly at Lucius' eyes. "You'll have to tear my dead body off first."

"Gladly," Lucius replied, his eyes glittering. "Draco, you have many flaws, but I have never known any of them to be lazy. If I were so inclined, I might even think you fancied the girl. Now, don't be silly and cast the curse."

"The Killing Curse?" Draco asked, slowly.

"No, the Confundus," Lucius answered angrily. "Of course the Killing Curse, you silly boy. All you've done all night is follow me around the castle with barely a spell to be seen. This is your chance to prove to me and to the Dark Lord that you will one day amount to something." Lily was surprised at his words. Could it be that Draco had refused to fight? But no, that couldn't be. But still, she wasn't about to give up on him.

"You have a choice," Lily said softly, finally gathering up the strength to speak, which Lucius caught.

"What's she blathering on about now?" Lucius asked. "Shut her up while you have the chance." He gestured at her, as if she was something diseased, as if she were something to be scraped off his shoe and thrown in the garbage.

Draco slowly raised his wand and leveled it at Lily, while she stared into his eyes with an intensity that she would not relinquish. She didn't know what she was hoping to find there, but it was something different than the darkness she saw swirling there behind the gray. She looked away. Despite her earlier hope that he might renounce the ideals of his father, she did not believe that he would defy him to his face. She waited for the flash of green, for the light that would signal that it was all over, that their mission had failed, but was instead surprised by a thumping sound a little bit in front of her. She looked up in shock to see the body of Lucius Malfoy lying in a heap on the ground as if he had been knocked over from his standing position.

"Wha . . ." she started, looking up in amazement to see Draco with his wand pointed to the side towards his father.

"Silent spell," he interrupted. "Now get off the floor, there'll be more coming." She remained on the floor still staring up at him, not quite believing what she saw in front of her.

"You chose us," she said, still in awe.

"I didn't choose anything," Draco responded tersely. "Now get up before I curse you like my father told me too." He didn't extend a hand to help her out, so she put her own hand on the ground and managed to pull herself to her feet.

"Call it what you will," she replied before turning around and going pale at the sight of the prostrate girl on the ground who looked even worse than before though still alive. "Oh Ginny. I don't know how she could have made it."

"You're useless," Draco said gruffly, pulling Ginny up off the floor and laying her in Lily's arms. "Now, get her to the hospital wing. I have my own problems to deal with. Like this," he said kicking the body of his father, which was still lying on the ground.

"I suppose it would be meaningless to say I'm grateful," Lily said, as she shifted her weight, so she could both carry Ginny and hold her wand in the air.

"Pretty much," Draco answered. "Remember I never do anything that doesn't benefit me."

"Well then, I'm glad our interests coincided," Lily said, before impulsively grabbing onto Draco's arm. "Goodbye, Draco."

"Goodbye," he said, scooting back so her hand slid off his arm. "Now go." Lily obeyed him, turning around and making her way down a different hallway. This time, she would try even harder to keep to the shadows. Who knew what she may find, and she didn't think she would get another second chance.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: It's finally here, the next chapter, and the climactic scene everyone's been waiting for. I think one of the reasons this chapter took so long to come out was that it's incredibly hard to do a Harry/Voldemort showdown. By now, all of us have read JK Rowling's unsurpassable scene in Deathly Hallows, and it's hard to think up anything that will get anywhere close to that. I had to change around a lot of things that happened in here, and I hope that I have somewhat of a unique spin to things that make it less comparable to Rowling's ending, since I know the Battle at Hogwarts has been done numerous times before. I would say probably two or three more chapters left, though I oftentimes write a lot more than I plan too, so who knows. Thank you so much for bearing with me, and remember to please review! **

After Lily left with Ginny, Harry was left all alone. Mercifully, the steady stream of Death Eaters had paused, but that meant he was left with only his thoughts to keep him company, while the muffled sounds of battle cries could vaguely be heard throughout the castle. He was about to head out to enter the fray, to do anything to escape the loneliness of the corridor when he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. Bringing up his wand, he prepared himself to battle but hastily dropped his arm back down when a younger student appeared out from one of the stairwells.

Harry had seen him a few times before and thought his name was Daniel or perhaps Edward, and a blue and bronze pin on his lapel revealed his house. The boy looked like had had been running, and as soon as he saw Harry, he put his hands on his knees in order to catch his breath.

"Harry Potter!" he exclaimed, as soon as he had regained the ability to speak. "They've been looking for you everywhere," he continued. "You have to come with me."

"What's going on?" Harry asked, wondering what could possibly be the reason behind the needed haste. "It's not Ron or Hermione, is it?" he continued, hoping against all hope that nothing had happened to his friends. If they had been hurt in the fray, and he had not been there to protect them, he'd never be able to forgive himself.

"Just come," the boy said slowly, not answering his question. "It's Voldemort. He's left you a message." Harry, still with a touch of unease at the boy's reticence, nodded and motioned for the boy to lead the way.

As they half-walked, half-jogged through some of the more abandoned parts of the castle, Harry began to wonder where they were going. Several of the hallways, he felt that he had seen once or twice, but he couldn't remember when.

"Where are you taking me?" Harry asked, as they both made their way down a dimly-lit staircase covered with eerie-looking paintings of past wizards.

"Second floor," the boy answered. "I'm taking us a back-way. Don't want to run into any more Death-Eaters," he shuddered. "They nearly got me while I was trying to find you."

Harry nodded, his mind buzzing with the fact that the mention of the second floor had seemed oddly familiar. He knew that was silly, since of course, he had had several classes over there. But for some reason, he could not shake the feeling that something very important had transpired there years before.

And then as the boy started to slow down, he realized why the place sounded so familiar. They were making their way towards a deserted corridor which he had not seen for five years. A deserted corridor where words in blood had once appeared on the wall declaring to one and all that the Chamber of Secrets had been opened. A place, he realized with a twist in his chest, that Voldemort had manipulated Ginny, as he preyed on her loneliness and fear. It was a place that symbolized what Harry had failed to do at the time, be there for her, and by his abandonment, awful things had happened.

Yet, unlike last time, the corridor was not the empty hallway it had been those many years ago. Now, it was filled with a few people milling around, as if they were waiting for someone. Him, Harry realized. They were waiting for him to appear, and they did not look as if they had good news to bring.

"He's here," his companion spoke up, as they entered, and all the people turned immediately to look at him, though no one seemed like they wanted to speak. Yet, it only took a moment's glance to understand their reticence. Underneath the old copper stains of years past, new words covered the wall, still dripping in a color that could only be blood. As he read, Harry felt his heart tighten, and it was all he could do to keep from collapsing on the ground in both exhaustion and despair.

**The traitor and the mudblood are mine. Come alone to the place where the Triwizard ended or their blood will run through the Great Hall.**

The words stood out, legible despite the quickness with which they had been drawn. Harry had no idea how long the words had been up there, if Ron and Hermione were still alive, or even if he was in any shape to fight Voldemort, but all he knew was that he had to go, had to start running, had to leave to do whatever he could to make sure his two best friends were all right. The destination was obvious, the Quidditch pitch where the hedge maze had once stood and where he had carried out the dead body of Cedric Diggory to win the Triwizard tournament. It would be an apt ending, he thought. A stadium where thousands could gather to watch the two of them fight to the death. How fitting; a spectacle to the end.

But right now, none of that mattered. All that mattered was that he made it there and made sure that Ron and Hermione did not die, even if that meant sacrificing his own life. He turned without saying a word and made as if to leave before a hand on his arm stopped him.

"Strength be with you," said an older man who Harry had never seen before. "You go where there rest of us cannot."

"We believe in you Harry," piped up a girl with pigtails who looked like she could be no more than fifteen.

"Defeat the bloody bastard," came another, a Hufflepuff from Harry's own year.

"He cannot take everything away from you," said an older woman.

He already has, Harry thought, but he nodded in thanks to all of them, turned on his heel and ran.

He took back staircases, not wanting to slow himself down with fighting or encountering anyone who might ask him where he was going. He knew they would ask questions, want to know how he felt, give him advice, while not understanding that every second he wasted was time that could result in the death of either Ron or Hermione.

It was strange, this feeling of aloneness, knowing that there was no one and nothing that he could depend on. It brought him back to the days spent with the Dursleys where he quickly learned that the only one who could defend him was himself. But coming to Hogwarts, making friends, and living in a community had showed him that there was another way to live where you leaned on the people around you. But in the end, it always came down to him, Harry. It had always been that way whether he was fighting Quirrell in front of the Mirror of Erised, Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets, or Voldemort in the graveyard. Somehow, he had always been on his own, and he wondered if all those times had simply prepared himself for this moment when he would face Voldemort for once and for all while all hell rained down on Hogwarts. Could he have done it if he were any other boy? Would he have been able to run down these stairs if he had grown up in a loving home with two parents who had lovingly spoiled him his whole life? But then again, he realized, if his parents were still alive, he wouldn't have been in this situation. He would not have been the boy who lived. He just would have been Harry. Just Harry.

But he would never be just Harry again, and it was nothing that self pity or false pride could fix. He knew instead that he needed to step up, be the hero that he had been born to be and do what he could to save the world even if the task in itself seemed impossible.

So instead of giving up, instead of running to Dumbledore, and instead of dwelling on what might have been, Harry silently made his way into the entrance hall from a side door and opened up the front doors to allow himself to quietly exit the building. He allowed himself no time to look back at the castle and to reminisce about the past few years. Hogwarts had been a great part of his life, perhaps even the greatest, but right now, when it came down to it, he had to focus on what was in front of him.

The winter chill made his hair stand up, as he took his first few determined steps across the front lawn on the way to the Quidditch pitch. A long sleeved shirt and pants had seemed adequate for a night of indoor fighting, but they were useless against the low temperatures, and he shivered despite himself. It wasn't a long walk to the Quidditch pitch, but it was a dark one. With his way no longer illuminated by the torches contained all throughout Hogwarts, Harry was forced to tread carefully. He no longer ran, but watched the ground as he walked, thankful for the distraction from his thoughts.

It seemed like only a few seconds had passed before the tall shadows forming the outside of the stadium appeared, and Harry saw the open door at the bottom leading either into the stands or directly onto the field. He took a full breath and made his way through the door, choosing not to take the stairways to the left or to the right that would lead him high into the stands but instead going straight ahead through the second door that would lead to the field.

The first thing he noticed upon going through the door was that the field was almost completely empty except for a cage set in the middle that seemed made entirely out of silver. But more important than the cage was what was inside of it.

His heart leaped as soon as he saw the two figures sitting in the cage, resting their backs alongside the bars, as Hermione laid her head on Ron's shoulder. Every bit of him yearned to run across the field and go to them immediately, though his brain kept reminding him that this had to be a trap. There was no way Voldemort would leave his two best friends in an abandoned field without it being somewhat conducive to his plan, so he held back to wait in the shadows and see if he could figure out what was going on. On an instinct, he looked around to see if there was anything around the pitch that could be used as a trap. But, of course, everything looked threatening. The billowing fabric covering the stands could have covered a thousand Death Eaters, though even if they were there hiding, it made no sense. Harry was only a boy, barely of age, who could have easily been subdued by any number of Death Eaters. They had no need to hide from him, and why wasn't Voldemort out there waiting to fight him? The whole set-up made no sense. Why had Voldemort called him to this field? And why wasn't Voldemort here?

Still not calling out to Ron and Hermione yet, Harry finished up his perusal of the field before noticing a small table off to the left that seemed to have something resting on it, though for the life of him, he couldn't see what it was. Deciding that investigating that table would be the best course of action, though, he acknowledged, it was probably exactly what Voldemort wanted him to do, he took a step outside of the shadows of the edge of the field waiting for the spells to start raining down. But nothing happened. He took another step, and again, the field was still. Step after step he took towards the table, waiting just waiting for Death Eaters to appear all around him, but each time, he was only greeted by the low whistle of the cold night air. It was so odd, this silence, and he had no idea what to make of it. He was ten feet from the table, then eight, then four, then right up next to it, and still, nothing had happened.

He looked down and was greeted with the sight of a small silver key lying on the metal top. He was just about to reach out for it when he heard a noise behind him and he quickly turned around with his wand held out in front of him. He relaxed slightly when he recognized the familiar face jogging towards him.

"Neville! What are you doing here?" Harry whispered when the boy was close enough to hear. The shorter boy was slightly out of breath, his cheeks red from exertion, and Harry realized that he hadn't really talked to the Neville very much at all this year. He had simply been too busy thinking about his parents and Ginny that he had forgotten about the boy who always seemed to be overlooked.

"I saw the writing on the wall," Neville managed to speak after he stopped to catch his breath. "And I couldn't let you face him alone. Not when he took Ron and Hermione like that. I . . . I just couldn't." Harry stood there in amazement looking at the boy across from him.

"But you could have been hurt coming down here," Harry answered. "Voldemort told me to come alone."

"You can't always let him make up all the rules," Neville answered, and Harry was struck again by Dumbledore's words years before when Neville won Gryffindor the House Cup about his bravery. "I mean, you need a team right?"

"Yeah," Harry said. "Yeah, I do." But at the same time, Harry didn't want anyone else to get hurt. He wanted to tell Neville to go back to the castle, to leave while he still could, but he could tell by the determined look on his face that the boy was staying here.

"So what do you think we should do?" Neville asked, completely oblivious to Harry's thoughts. "I mean, you'd think there's got to be a catch here," he continued, waving an arm around the abandoned field.

"I don't know," Harry answered honestly, looking over at the cage again. "I haven't seen Ron or Hermione move, so I feel that Voldemort must have done something to them. And it seems too simple to just go ahead and unlock the cage."

"Do you think the key really unlocks the cage?" Neville asked. "I mean, who knows? It could be for something else." He reached for the key, at the same time as Harry had a strong sense of déjà vu about something that had happened at this very same field three years back.

"Wait, Neville," he said, grabbing on to Neville's arm at the same time that Neville put his hand on the small piece of metal. "What if it's a portk-?" But Harry didn't get to finish his question, as he felt the familiar jerking sensation as if someone was pulling on something right behind his navel. The world began to spin around the two boys, and Harry realized that his suspicions had been correct. The key hadn't just been a key. It was a portkey.

As Harry whirled through what seemed to be a tear in the fabric of reality, he shuddered as he realized how thoroughly he had underestimated Voldemort. He had been preparing for a battle at Hogwarts, a daunting proposal, but at least a battle where he knew the territory. But now, he was being taken to Merlin knows where in an area that Voldemort would have all the advantages and he would have none. Yet, the worst part was that he had not only brought himself on this terrible journey but had brought Neville along too. And, he remembered, the last time he had brought someone else along with him on a trip to Voldemort, the boy had died.

And it was with that thought that Harry slammed into the ground, seeing stars as his head painfully hit something extremely hard. As soon as he could see again, he turned his head and saw that the thing that he had hit was large, granite, and a grayish color. It was a tombstone.

In fact, it was one of many tombstones of all different sizes and various levels of decay. But to Harry's dismay, they were also incredibly recognizable. Though he had not been there in three years, the graveyard where he had seen Lord Voldemort's rebirth was all too familiar.

He could see Neville a few feet away, rubbing his sore body, though the other boy seemed to have no idea where they were. Harry wished he could yell out to Neville, tell him to run, to hide, to do anything before Voldemort arrived, but the sound of movement around him gave him no chance.

"Welcome, welcome Harry Potter," came a voice that seemed to arise from in back of him. "We've been expecting you." Harry managed to turn himself around and saw the bottom of a voluminous black cloak. Bringing his gaze upward he found himself confronted with the familiar slitted eyes of Lord Voldemort who was looking down at him with a bit of amusement echoed in their scarlet depths. Harry didn't speak, so Voldemort continued. "I knew you were one to break the rules, but really, boy, even when your friends were on the line?" He laughed and pointed his wand at Neville. "Really, I should kill him now and get it over with."

"Don't touch him," Harry spat out, while Neville sat up with defiance reflected in his eyes.

"Come over and face us like a man," Neville said, though Harry could see that the other boy was shaking slightly in his robes.

"Face you like a man?" Voldemort laughed, an awful sound that grated on the ears. "But what sort of man cringes on the ground like he has no hope. Plus, a battle needs an audience. I hope you don't mind that I'm calling a few people to watch our little spectacle." Harry reached for his wand, but it was too late. Voldemort had already pressed his wand to the tattoo on his arm, and Harry began to hear the sound of wizards apparating. "And don't worry yourselves," Voldemort continued. "I've only instructed half of them to return. I wouldn't want Hogwarts left completely on its own." Harry shuddered. How many more people would die tonight?

"My lord," one of the wizards came over and bowed at Voldemort's feet, his black robe fanning out at the ground around him. Harry squinted to see if he could recognize him, but the darkness and his voluminous cloak made it almost impossible. "A message if you will?"

"Speak," Voldemort continued, though he had moved his wand, so it was now directed at Harry. "Though quickly. I have matters to attend to." Some of the Death Eaters who had assembled themselves around their leader laughed at his words, a dull sound with no evidence of real joy.

"The casualties have been greater than expected," the man responded. "Many of your great followers have been killed. Bellatrix Black among them, sir." The Death Eater cowered, as if scared that Lord Voldemort would reflect his anger by retaliating on him, though Voldemort merely shrugged.

"I am sure that they fought bravely," he said. "Though as long as our main objective is still on course, I will count their deaths as necessary tragedies leading towards a greater end."

"Yes, my lord," the Death Eater responded. "I am sure they were glad to give their lives for the cause."

"As they should be," Voldemort answered. "We each have our role to play. Which brings me to the boy," he continued, focusing once again on Harry who had not made a move during the whole interaction. "Interesting how he sits there waiting, not making a move to hex me or to escape. How curious. I wish I could read into that little mind of his. Do tell us Harry what you are thinking of right now." He sat down on a tombstone almost as if he were a kindly old grandfather waiting for his grandchildren to tell him what their day was like. Yet, all, Harry could think about was the casualness with which Voldemort treated his fallen followers, and the thought made him angry.

"I think you're a terrible leader," Harry answered. "Look at your men and see if you can tell them truthfully that you cared about the people who gave their lives for you tonight." He knew the words would make Voldemort angry, but at the moment, he really didn't care.

"Silence!" Voldemort thundered, his face flashing in his rage as he stood up. "I'd watch myself if I were you boy. I can make your death here tonight very painful or very quick. You better hope I'm feeling lenient." His eyes were alight with an intensity that Harry could almost feel, but Voldemort wasn't the only one had something on the line tonight.

"You better hope I'm feeling the same way myself," Harry said, using the tombstone to pull himself up. He saw out of the corner of his eye that during the conversation one of the Death Eaters had taken Neville and had put an arm around his neck, not tight enough to kill him, but tight enough to make the boy's face light up in pain. "Enough of the talk. You called me here to face you, so stop stalling and do what you came here to do."

"Ready for death so quickly?" Voldemort asked, his face gleaming. "I would have thought you'd beg for mercy."

"He wouldn't do that," called out Neville, who was silenced by his captor who tightened his grip even more. "Tell him, Harry," he still managed to choke out.

"Neville's right," Harry said, managing to stand for himself with his wand pointed straight at Voldemort's heart. "I will never beg you for anything."

"Then welcome, Harry Potter, to your own funeral," Voldemort's words were accompanied by a flash of green light that Harry barely missed by ducking behind the tombstone he was standing behind. Voldemort cast another spell just as quickly but this time, Harry was ready. Flourishing his wand at the exact same time, he cast a disarming spell and just like last the time they had been in this graveyard, their wands connected by a stream of light. The golden thread connected the two of them, and Harry could once again hear the sound of phoenix sound. All throughout the stream of light, little golden balls of light flowed, though for now, they seemed to congregate mostly in the middle of the line. Harry knew that any show of weakness would send the balls of light towards the weaker party, and he was determined that that would not be him. Though like last time, he was exhausted, while Voldemort seemed to have unlimited energy.

"Don't think you can hide behind your little wand trick again," Voldemort hissed, as he frowned at his wand and its connection to Harry. "I am much stronger than last time, and as soon as you let go, I will destroy you."

But Harry wasn't giving up so fast. Ushering up all the strength in his body, he focused on the little balls of light and like last time, tried to send them towards his rival. Yet, Voldemort seemed this time to be anticipating this, and Harry found himself struggling to maintain any sort of control. He wondered what would happen if he failed, if in a moment of weakness the lights rushed towards him, making his wand shake uncontrollably and forcing him to let go, beaten. He would be an easy target for Voldemort, and it would all be over. But what did he have that Voldemort didn't? What could he use to beat the man? It was a quick look around the graveyard that revealed the answer to him.

He saw Neville, straining against the arm of his captive, a look in his eyes that showed Harry that no matter what, Neville believed in him. And Harry knew that had all his friends been here, they all would be displaying that same kind of faith, showing him that they trusted him even when the odds were against them.

On the other hand, Voldemort, Harry realized, was alone. He may try his hardest to send the spheres toward Harry, but he would never have the strength of his friends to keep him going. Death Eaters were minions, not friends, and they would never have the same kind of trust in their leader that Harry would have with his friends. So to keep him going, Harry brought to mind the faces of his friends.

First, he thought of Ron, seeing his freckled face as if he were standing there besides him. Ron would want to finish it up fast, go in with wands blazing, and hopefully finish off some Death Eaters while he was at it. He thought of Hermione, her bushy hair that had calmed down throughout the years, and how she would approach fighting Voldemort with a cool sense of logic. She would have come in here with a plan, perfectly oriented towards success. He pictured Lily and James, two new additions to the group and not what he had expected. He knew now how much he cared for them, despite James' tendency to sometimes behave completely idiotically. Seeing them together now made him realize how much his parents did grow to love each other, and he knew that he would have given anything to have them still with him by his side. He then let his thoughts go to Ginny and the way she looked at the Yule Ball. She had been radiant, and he had been hard pressed not to immediately run over to her side the instant she had walked in. Finally, he let his thoughts run over all the people who had been influential in his life and had supported him. He saw Hagrid, Neville, Dumbledore, Sirius, and many others, people who he would never forget. As he concentrated, he saw the balls of light slowly but surely make their way towards Voldemort who frowned at them, as if he couldn't understand how this was happening considering how powerful he was. As the lights grew closer, Voldemort's wand began to shake uncontrollably, and Harry knew what would happen next.

Shrieks of pain began to emerge from Voldemort's wand, evidence of the torture his wand had parceled out. But along with that came ghostly figures, muggles that Voldemort had murdered recently, and they covered Voldemort with their pearly sheens. Harry saw men, women, and children, and they all crowded Voldemort, as if they wanted to blot him out forever. Harry wished he could see his parents again, but he knew Voldemort had committed far too many atrocities since their last encounter in the graveyard, so there was no chance that they would be emerging.

But this time, he didn't need advice, as he knew perfectly what the figures would do. What he really needed was a distraction, time to figure out what to do, and they worked perfectly. He waited until Voldemort was barely visible under the crowd of figures, evidence of the great number of murders he had committed, and then he let go. He knew the figures would only last for a few seconds, but that was exactly what he needed.

Free from the light, he cast a spell at the Death Eater holding Neville, and the man hastily dropped him. With the surprise of the surrounding Death Eaters, it gave Harry the time to scramble behind some of the tombstones further back in the graveyard and was glad to see that Neville quickly joined him. Peering out behind one of the tombstones, Harry could see that Voldemort had just managed to free himself from the ghostly remnants of his past crimes and was beginning to look around his immediate vicinity. Harry knew he only had a few seconds before he was found out.

"Listen, Neville," he whispered. "I need your help." Harry didn't want to involve Neville, but he didn't think he had a choice. Now more than ever, he knew that he could not defeat the dark wizard on his own, and it was only through teamwork that he would have any chance of success. "I'm the only one who can kill Voldemort, but I need—"

"I understand," Neville interrupted. "You need a distraction." Harry looked at him in surprise, but it was too late before he finally understood the implications of the boy's words

"No, Neville, wait," Harry said, trying to stop him, but he was too late. Neville had stood up and was running towards Voldemort with his wand out high, blasting curses straight ahead. He must have known he was running towards certain death, but he still went on, determined to the end.

In the dark light of the cemetery, Voldemort must have thought the dark haired figured running towards him was Harry as he merely laughed as he used his wand to deflect the curses away.

"Silly Potter boy," he laughed. "One last stand before you fall." He lifted up his wand and sent out another stream of green light, though this time, it met his mark. Neville crumpled in the dirt, his face, hidden under the shadow of a tombstone. Harry fought the urge to scream and watched as Voldemort made his way over to the boy. "Harry Potter is gone," Voldemort smiled, as he looked down at the figure at his feet. He kicked the prone body, and his face filled with confusion as he saw the face of the boy beneath him. "It's the spare," he growled, but he was too late.

Harry Potter stood straight and tall with his wand in the air. "Avada Kedavra," he said, allowing the forbidden words to enter his mouth for the first time.

Voldemort had only one moment to look up in surprise before the life left his eyes and he crumpled on the ground, a black heap that was all that was remaining of the once powerful wizard.

"You bloody bastard," one of the Death Eaters ran forward at Harry, though Harry stopped him with his wand.

"Don't think that I won't hesitate to do the same to you," Harry responded, and even he was surprised by the cold tinge in his voice. "Leave. Your work is done here. Your leader is dead, and I am sure the Ministry will be very interested in all of you."

To his surprise, the men listened, their lack of a leader making them surprisingly submissive. They disapparated around him, leaving him alone in the cold graveyard. Alone except for the prone body still lying on the ground in front of him.

"Neville," Harry called out, as soon as he knew the others were gone. He ran forward to his friend, cradling his head in his lap, knowing that once again he would have to leave the graveyard with the body of one of his friends. A sudden breeze swept by, and he shivered, realizing how empty he felt inside. He knew he should be celebrating the death of his enemy, but confronted with two dead bodies, he wanted nothing to do with celebration. So much of his life had been centered around his battle with Voldemort, and there was a part of him that wondered what would define him now that his rival was gone.

But right now, all he really wanted was a warm blanket, a nice fire, and his friends around him, not asking questions, but just being there. He shuddered at what it would be like when he got back. He didn't want to describe what had just happened. He would be labeled a hero, when the real hero this night was Neville, a boy who had felt the need to be there for him even when Harry had had little to do with him all year.

He grit his teeth and stood up, holding Neville in his arms. He was just about to wave his arm to summon the portkey to let him return home when he took one last look back at the black robed heap on the ground. They didn't even take his body, he realized, as he took in the body of his former enemy. They followed him for years, but yet, they left him there to rot on the ground, driven away by their own fear.

In the back of his mind, Harry knew that when others arrived on the scene, they would take the body and mutilate it, reveling in the end of his awful deeds. Yet, whatever anger Harry held towards the man, it didn't extend that far. No one deserves that, Harry thought, and he raised his wand, not to summon but for another spell.

"Incendio," he muttered, watching as the flames erupted out of his wand and engulfed the body. The robes burned quickly, sending up tongues of flame, as the fire consumed the cloth. The fire was almost purifying, burning away the rubble until only the ashes were left.

Of course, there was no one there to honor the man who had done as much as he could to cheat death and had finally found himself its unwilling victim, but Harry had to give him at least some grudging respect.

"Goodbye Tom Riddle," Harry said, refusing to utter the name that symbolized the man's loss of humanity. As the wind began to blow the ashes away, Harry turned around, preparing himself for what would come, for the hordes, for the questions, and for the disbelief.

There would be some who would refuse to believe that the Dark Lord was dead without actual proof, and Harry wanted nothing to do with that. He had done his job, spoken the words that no wizard should ever have to say, and had saved the world, at least for now.

With one last breath, he raised his arm.

"Accio portkey."


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: Here we are at the second to last chapter. It's been a long ride, and it's difficult to acknowledge that things are beginning to wrap up. Thank you so much to those who have stuck with me through the past few years. I hope that this chapter lives up to your expectations.**

Chapter 20

The first thing Ron could sense was the light. It swam in front of his eyes amidst visions of black and red. Disconcerted, he tried to resolve his vision, slowly opening his eyes and watching the colors in front of him resolve into fuzzy shapes that seemed almost as if they were moving. His hearing was also slowly coming back, as the muffled sounds that entered his brain became slowly translated into words. He had no idea where he was; no idea why he was slumped over with the feeling of something soft against his cheek while a hard metallic coldness froze his back. But then everything clicked, and he finally saw the familiar wizard in front of him holding a wand and illuminating the small metal cage he was trapped in and the still unconscious girl leaning against his shoulder. "Hermione," he whispered, as if his words would compel a response, and then he felt the cold disappointment when they did not.

"Ron," repeated Remus Lupin, repeating the word he had been saying over and over for the past ten minutes, practically begging for a response. "Oh Merlin, Ron, you're awake," he said, having noticed a change in the previously inanimate boy. The light of the wand illuminated the gauntness of Lupin's face, exposing the dark shadows under his eyes that Ron could have sworn were not there the day before.

"I'm here," Ron muttered, shielding his eyes from the light. "What's going on? Why am I here, and what's the matter with Hermione? She's going to be okay, right?" he continued, overwhelming Lupin with the onslaught of questions. Ron laid Hermione gently on the ground, and moved to the edge of the cage, which still separated him from Lupin with its iron bars.

"Hermione's going to be fine," Lupin responded. "She's been put under the same spell as you, though it's going to take longer for it to run its course. Her body's weaker than yours"

"But why?" Ron asked. "Who would do this to us? Why would anyone go to this much trouble when they could have just killed us?"

"To get to Harry," Lupin answered, and Ron's blood froze with the sudden revelation. "You were the bait. Voldemort left Harry a note telling him to come down here to save you, but it seems like he never made it. And what's even stranger is that a little bit ago, half the Death Eaters attacking the castle disappeared. It looks as if they made it off the grounds and then disapparated."

"Then Harry's gone because of us?" Ron said, a note of bitterness tingeing his words. "Is there any chance that . . .?"

"He's alive?" Lupin finished his question. "Ron, we haven't given up hope yet. Harry's gotten himself out of worse situations than this one, and there's still the prophecy."

"A prophesy that could lead to his death as well," Ron noted. "But if Harry was going on some crazy suicide mission, then I am not going to sit around and wait for them to bring back his remains. Can you get me out of here? I figure there's still a few more Death Eaters I can bring down."

"It's a complex spell without the key," Lupin responded, "But if you give me some time, I can free you." Ron nodded and sat down against the side of the cage next to Hermione and watched Lupin move his wand in delicate swishing patterns, all the while muttering an indistinguishable set of words. Ron kept one hand clenched in a fist with the other one gently stroking Hermione's hair. He hated feeling trapped here, almost as much as he hated the fact that Voldemort had been able to use the two of them as bait. He takes love and twists it, Ron thought. Love had ruled so much of Harry's life. His mother's original sacrifice had saved his life, but what if in the end, love was what brought him down? Damn it, Harry, Ron thought. Why didn't you just let us go? Was the entire fate of the wizarding world worth two lives? Why was sacrifice so complicated?

"I got it," Lupin declared, his voice reflecting his triumph. The bars nearest to Lupin began to melt into nothingness, and Ron quickly sprung up, making sure that Hermione's body was not disturbed. However, as soon as he made it out of the quickly disappearing cage, the impossible happened. A crumpled body suddenly appeared out of nowhere, clutching a heap of robes in an iron grasp.

"Bloody hell," Lupin cried. "It's Harry."

Ron let out a small exclamation before running to his friend's side and rolling him over to see if he was alive. The large bundle of robes Harry had been holding fell to his side.

"There's a pulse," he said to Lupin, who in the mean time, had knelt down beside him. "But it's slow. We need to get him to the infirmary immediately." Ron had no time to wonder what the consequences of his friend returning could be. All thoughts of the war had been drowned out by pure concern for his friend. With Lupin's help, he managed to levitate Harry and the still unconscious Hermione and was about to propel them towards the castle when Ron finally realized what the heap of robes was, or rather, who it was.

A few choice expletives flowed from his mouth before he could form coherent words. "Neville," he cried, seeing the telltale strands of dark hair.

"Damn him," Lupin muttered. "Damn him for all the casualties he has taken."

Ron's stomach turned, remembering the last time Harry had portkeyed back with the body of another corpse. Only this time, instead of the magnanimous Hufflepuff, he had returned with a close friend. He stood back, allowing Lupin to levitate Neville as well, willing himself not to cry, to let out the tears that threatened to overflow. He would not give Voldemort the pleasure. He would not give into his emotions and show the Dark Lord, wherever he was, how much the barbs hurt. He followed Lupin, as they made their way back towards the castle.

"What do you think this means?" he asked Lupin, as they made their way through the darkened grass. "Do you think it's over?"

"I'm trying to be realistic," Lupin answered, "though my heart keeps jumping at the possibility that we once again may have peace." There was silence following his statement, as the two trudged up the hill that led to the castle. This was not the walk of heroes, Ron thought. They came not with loud cries of triumph but bearing bodies, not knowing whether they came in victory or defeat. The one who could tell them that was unconscious in front of them, slowly bobbing up and down in the slight breeze of the night.

"Harry, what happened in there?" Ron silently asked his friend. "What did he do to you?" What had Voldemort done to his friend, to Neville, to all of them? What gave him the right to murder children, to come in to the castle and kill indiscriminately? A fresh wave of anger overtook him them, banishing any prior impulse to express his sorrow through tears. If Voldemort wasn't dead, he would kill him himself. Damn the prophecy. He would find a way to do it.

Yet, perhaps it was peace that would make them strong, peace that would bring back the balance that had been destroyed. But how do you find peace in the midst of so much destruction?

"Ron," Lupin started slowly, breaking the silence. "If this means what we hope it means, we can all sleep without fear tonight."

"Not all of us," Ron said, looking at the prone body of Neville.

"No, not all of us," Lupin agreed. "But it was their sacrifice that made hope possible."

00000

A few hours later, a slight movement was detected in the Hospital Wing, as Harry Potter made his first move in what seemed like ages. It was only a tightening of his cheek, but it caused the multitude of people around him to draw in closer despite Madame Pomfrey's attempts to keep them away. The remainder of the Death Eaters having apparated away about twenty minutes following the disappearance of the first half, the castle was now filled only with its original inhabitants and the other individuals who had come to aid against the invaders. While most of these people were in the Great Hall helping to cure the wounded and account for the dead, the ones closest to Harry had met in the Infirmary, determined not to leave until their friend awoke.

"Back, back," Madame Pomfrey shooed the onlookers to no avail. "Let the boy rest. How can he possibly recover with all this rumpus around?" Though she fussed, it was clear she was eager for Harry to awake as well, what with the way she carefully scrutinized his face, noting any changes in his expression.

"But Madame Pomfrey," James exclaimed. "He's the only one who knows the truth about what happened."

"What's important is that those despicable Death Eaters are gone and that my patient recovers," Madame Pomfrey rejoined, but she made no serious effort to remove them from the room. Even she hosted some curiosity over the truth of the events that had led to the exodus of all the Death Eaters. "Now keep back!"

Everyone's impatience was soon rewarded when Harry finally opened his eyes and managed to get out three words. "Voldemort. Dead. Neville?" He promptly collapsed, and the mood in the Hospital turned ecstatic.

"Did you hear?" George said turning to Fred. "He's gone. We can start production on the new Voldemort lollypops for the joke shop. Take one lick, and your eyes turn red and your nose disappears."

"Profits will be through the roof," Fred returned with a serious look on his face.

"You'll do no such thing," Hermione glared at the two boys before realizing that they were only joking. "Trust you two to say something completely inappropriate." She shook her head before turning back to Harry, who continued to lay there motionless on the bed with little evidence of his earlier recovery. She herself had only woken up about an hour ago, remembering little of the battle. She realized that something, or rather, someone was missing. A few beds over lay a small red headed girl, who also lay in her own state of unconscious. Ginny Weasley had still not woken up, though her slight breaths indicated that she was still alive. Harry will be devastated if he wakes up again and realizes she's still not better, Hermione thought.

She made her way over to Madame Pomfrey and coughed to get the older woman's attention. "Madame Pomfrey, is there anything you can do for Ginny?" Hermione asked.

"Like Harry, what that girl needs is a lot of rest," Madame Pomfrey sniffed. "And with all the shenanigans going on in here, it seems unlikely that she's going to get it."

"But she'll be alright?" Hermione asked.

"I would be surprised if she wasn't awake by morning," Madame Pomfrey replied. "Though I would be more confident in that assertion if you could shush those hooligans over there," she continued motioning towards Fred and George who were discussing future joke shop ideas.

Hermione walked over and grasped the younger Weasley's hand. "You have to make it, Ginny," she whispered. "You have to pull through, or Harry will never forgive himself." She hoped for a response, but Ginny continued to lay there, her hand laying limp in Hermione's.

There were similar grasping hands all over the castle, as both young and old joined ranks to honor the dead and tend the wounded. Former House rivalries were all but forgotten, as individuals brought food and water to those who were unable to move. Someone had brought word from the Infirmary that Harry Potter had briefly awoken to declare Voldemort's death, and while there was celebration, there was also the knowledge that nothing would quite be the same again.

That knowledge was also hitting another couple that had moved back from Harry's bed to give his closest friends more space. James and Lily had sat down next to a window that looked out on a starry sky that betrayed none of the chaos that had occurred underneath its gaze. James had his arm wrapped around the smaller girl and was subconsciously massaging her shoulder in circular, even motions.

"Lily," he started, finally having the chance to speak to her after hours of anxious fretting when no one knew whether Harry would open his eyes or slip into another realm. "Oh Merlin, I was looking for you everywhere. I was so scared something had happened," he muttered, holding her closer as if he never wanted to let go. "But you're alright. Thank Merlin, you're alright."

"James," Lily responded, her voice slightly muffled. "I was so scared when you were locked in there. I knew you had to make it, but I didn't know in what condition."

"I'm never leaving you behind again," he promised. "Even when Dumbledore gives us the memory potion, there will always be a part of me that will always know that we belong together, and I will find my way back to you."

She smiled sadly, knowing that even James could not protect her from everything, and even if he could, she would not want him to. Loving someone means sometimes choosing to let them go and pave their own way.

"You know we'll have to go soon," she said after a while. "We have a life to return to."

"We don't have to go so soon," James returned. "We can stay for a bit, enjoy the bit of peace, maybe sneak away to the Astronomy Tower."

"You have no idea how tempting that is," Lily answered. "But if we don't leave soon, it's going to be harder to do it later. We have to let them rebuild their lives, lives that won't involve us."

"Always so practical," James grimaced. "Sirius would laugh at me if he could see me giving in so easily."

"Sirius can laugh all he wants," Lily said kissing him quickly on the cheek. "But if we followed your lead in everything, we'd be lying on the beach right now sipping cocktails."

"Which wouldn't be terrible," James rejoined.

"We'll get there one day," Lily promised. "Now, I hate to say this, but there's something I need to do, and I need to do it alone. Can you distract the others if they notice I'm gone?"

"I just said I'd never leave you, and you're running off already?" James said.

"I won't be gone long," Lily said, getting up and laying her hand on his arm. "Trust me."

"I do," James returned. "And I will be right here until you return."

"I love you, James Potter," Lily responded. She had never thought she would be the first to say so. Before, it might have made her feel weak, but now, it only seemed right. And it seemed even more right when James' face brightened, and a large smile took over his face.

"The feeling's mutual, darling," he said, before swatting her on the leg. "Now go do that thing you've got to do, so you can come back." He let her go, though he hated to do it, to be apart from her for more than he possibly needed to be. But he also knew deep inside that he needed to let her go, that it wasn't his right to hold her back, but more importantly, that she would come back to him. He watched as she made her way out of the Infirmary, her long red hair trailing behind her, taking with her a piece of his heart as well.

00000

Lily didn't at first know where to go. If Draco had survived, he would have been long gone, spirited away with the rest of the Death Eaters. And if he hadn't . . . Well, she didn't want to think about that. No matter how much she loved James, she knew that this was a journey that she would have to go at alone. He would not understand her feelings. Of course, he would feel sympathy that she was hurting, but he along with all the others had only seen the Slytherin boy's flaws.

She knew those flaws well, but at the same time, Draco had saved her life. She had been in his clutches, an easy target, and he had let her go, preferring to hex his father instead of killing her. It had created a bond between them, and though it seemed unlikely that she would find him, she still went, wandering the castle, traversing random hallways that still carried the stench of battle and the bloody trails that indicated the loss that had occurred that night. Most of the people had left these hallways, and she was stopped by no one. She doubted that she would have even noticed anyone calling her name.

It was at the end of a second floor hallway that she found him, slumped over on the ground, his blonde hair stained red by a deep gash on his forehead. His black robes lay gracefully around him, and he still held his wand tightly gripped in his hand. For a second, it looked as if he could just be sleeping, as if a tap on the shoulder would wake him up, but Lily knew from his motionless chest that he would breathe no more. She knelt down at his side, all of a sudden feeling like she couldn't breathe, a tightness in her throat overwhelming all other sensations.

"Damn it, Draco," she swore. But it wasn't him that she damned, it was this stupid war that resulted in the death of children. She had condemned the other side for the slaughter of the young, but her own side had done it as well. "He was only seventeen," she said to no one in particular. She hated this. She hated the waste of it all.

There was so much she had wanted to say to him and to thank him for what he had done. And now those words would only be sounds drifting upwards in a deserted hallway for no one to hear.

For how do you think the boy who saved your life? How do you tell him how much it meant to you when he isn't even there to hear it? But she would be damned if she let this opportunity pass.

"Draco, I know you can't hear me," she started. "I know we had some rough spots," she continued, though she knew it was quite an understatement. "But I knew you still had good in you. It's easy to see the worst in people, to find the bad lurking in their soul and to imagine that it encompasses their whole being. It's a lot harder to see the good, but I wouldn't give up on you. You managed to show me the best of yourself tonight, and I thank you," she finished, reaching her hand across to rest it on his cheek. "Good night, Draco." Her fingers lingered there for a few seconds before she drew back.

She wished she could do something with the body, move it off of the floor to place it in an area that would offer him more respect. But she knew that in a few hours, someone would come collect it and send it off to his parents if they were still alive. She hoped he would have a nice funeral. She could imagine a Malfoy funeral would be a stately affair with a marble casket and lots of black velvet, but she hoped for lighter touches as well, an impromptu song or some wildflowers to show that he was not simply the arrogant son of an ancient line.

She realized that after she was sent back, she would not remember him. That knowledge saddened her. The one person who had witnessed his redemption would lose that memory, and it would be lost forever. Who would tell his story after she was gone? Would he be remembered as a traitor or would stories of goodness be recounted? Lily resolved to spread his story before she left. His sacrifice would not be lost with her.

It was with a heavy heart that she made her way back to the Infirmary. James jumped up as soon as she walked in the door and gave her an enormous hug, declaring that there was a part of him that thought she might have flown off in a giant Hippogriff and left the whole damn place. She laughed and told him she had thought about it. They were all happy to see her back, but she knew this place wasn't right, that she belonged in a different world. In a few hours, she would probably have to say her goodbyes and she would probably cry, but for now, she tried to just be Lily, to be a small pillar of fortitude when everything else had fallen apart.

00000

It was the sun that finally woke her up, the warm feeling from the rays streaming through the open window that finally got her to open her eyes. She did not know at first where she was, remembering little but a flash of red and then feelings of nothingness, but she knew she was comfortable, covered in white sheets and clothed in a simple white gown.

A brief look around her revealed her location to be the Hospital Wing, which contained several students clustered around a bed by the window whose occupant was hidden from her. Looking closer, she realized she recognized the students around the bed.

"Ron, Hermione, James, Lily" she called out, and they swiftly turned around at the sound of their names.

"Ginny, you're alright," Ron said, rushing over to her side. "Merlin, I should have been here with you, but I just couldn't leave Harry." Ginny's heart suddenly stopped.

"Harry?" she asked. "What's wrong with Harry?" Ron's face turned grave.

"He defeated Voldemort," he responded. "But except for telling us that, he hasn't woken up. Madame Pomfrey doesn't think there's anything wrong with him except for exhaustion, but he just doesn't seem to have the willpower to wake up."

"Oh Harry," Ginny breathed. "Help me up. I want to see him."

Ron tried to object, but she had already managed to sit up and swing her legs over the side of the bed. He saw there was nothing he could do besides help her along, so he placed her arm around his shoulder and helped her slowly and clumsily make her way across the room. The going was slow, and halfway across the room, Ron realized he was for the first time physically helping his sister be with a boy. Oh well, he thought. Only for Harry.

They finally made it, and Ron eased Ginny into a chair by Harry's side. James gave a look to the other two, which Hermione instantly seemed to understand.

"Ron, James," she said. "Madame Pomfrey wanted some help administering Wartmonger Potion to some of the students. We should probably go help."

"Of course," James answered, grabbing Ron by the arm and pulling him over to the other side of the room, while Hermione and Lily followed along. Ron seemed about to object, but another look from James silenced him. Finally as alone as she could be in a crowded infirmary, Ginny turned to look down at Harry. His face was pale, the black hair for once lying flat against his white face. He seemed to be breathing normally, but his hands were clenched at his sides. It could have been any morning, except for the fact that it wasn't, and the boy she loved was trapped away from her.

"Harry," she whispered, reaching out a hand and smoothing his dark brow. "I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm here. I think that if I had died last night that I would have died happy, having spent these past few days with you." She stopped, not sure how to continue, but a sudden rush of emotion helped her press on.

"I think of you all the time," she smiled. "Whenever I feel the wind rush past my face, it makes me think of you on your broomsticks doing maneuvers on your broom that I could never do even though I pretend that I can. When I see a flash of dark hair in a crowd, I always hope it's you even when it's someone completely different."

"I know it can be tempting to want to disappear from it all, to fall asleep and never wake up, but I can tell you that it never works. I never told you this, but the summer after you saved me from the Chamber of Secrets, I stopped talking to my family. I sat in my room every day, blaming myself for everything, asking myself why I had been so stupid and so vulnerable. It makes it hard to get close to someone when the first time you really let someone in, they worked so hard to completely destroy you. I want you to know that no matter how much I'm scared, I will always let you in."

She grabbed his cold hand, holding it tightly between her fingers, trying to warm it from its unnatural temperature. What could she do? How could she help him when she didn't know if he wanted to be helped, if he could be helped?

She was both scared and excited for him to wake up. How would he feel now that such a huge part of his life was over? He had been defined for so long by his relationship with Voldemort, that now that he was dead, who would Harry be?

"Has there been any change?" Ginny jumped at the voice, turning around to see Hermione behind her. Hermione was giving her a sad smile, and Ginny could see the bags under her eyes indicating far too little sleep.

"No," Ginny answered. "But I'm not leaving his side."

"No, I didn't think you would," Hermione responded, taking a chair next to Ginny. "You know, I always thought you two would end up together even with that silly Cho Chang business."

"Why?" Ginny asked, turning around surprised. "He barely knew I existed. I was always Ron's little sister."

"You were never just Ron's little sister," Hermione responded. "I know you probably look at Ron, Harry, and I and see this complete circle that seems almost completely self-sufficient. But at the same time, we never were perfect. There are qualities that you have that we didn't that I can see Harry being very drawn too."

"You mean I care too much about clothes and things like that?" Ginny asked ruefully.

"You are a bit more feminine than I am, that's for sure," Hermione laughed. "But no, I mean, you have a strong sense of compassion, and you feel things strongly. You have a desire for love that's more powerful in you than anyone else I've met. You need someone worthy of loving you, and I know Harry could be that person."

"Yes, I think he could be," Ginny said softly, looking down at her hand which was still entwined with Harry's. "Do you think he'll be changed when he wakes up?"

"Probably," Hermione responded. "But aren't we all? This is a battle we've been expecting for years now, and it's finally over. But I wouldn't worry that it'll be for the worst. Harry no longer has murder looming over his entire life. It'll take some getting used to, but I think he'll be much happier in the end if you're willing to help him through it."

"I am," Ginny replied. "I'll do anything."

"I know," Hermione said. "But remember that part of helping someone recover is giving them the freedom to do what they can on their own."

Ginny nodded, feeling all of a sudden very old.

"I'm off to chaperone Ron and James. Merlin knows they don't know anything about healing, but I trust you to make the right decisions," Hermione said, getting up to leave.

"Hermione," Ginny said, turning her head to face the other girl. "Thank you for letting me in."

"You were never out," Hermione responded before walking away, leaving Ginny feeling very confused. She turned back to face Harry who all of a sudden started stirring, and she realized that the boy was finally waking up. A few seconds later, his eyes slowly began to open, and she greeted his green eyes with a smile.

"Harry, you're awake," she said, giving his hand a squeeze and watching with happiness as his eyes softened.

"Did you know that your face is exactly what I wanted to wake up to?" he asked. "Your eyes. I thought they were pure brown, but they have specks of gold in them. It's like sunshine peering in on a cloudy day. I've seen so much death, but somehow, your face helps it go away." She had been planning on sitting here for a while with him, but when she heard that, she changed her mind.

"You know, Harry," she said. "In a few seconds, everyone is going to find out you're awake and swarm the area. They're going to want to know about every detail of every second about how you killed Voldemort and what happened to Neville. But I don't think you need that right now. What do you say we sneak out of here and run down to the lake and take a walk? They can wait till we get back." She was scared he was going to say that she was selfish, that of course they should go immediately to Dumbledore and reveal the whole story. She braced herself for reproof, but got a different answer instead.

"Can you distract Madame Pomfrey?" Harry smiled. "I think the world can spare me a half an hour."

"I'm good at that," Ginny said, getting up from her seat. "I'll meet you at the doors."

In just a few minutes, Ginny met Harry at the castle doors, where they stared out across the grounds down to the shimmering lake.

"I thought it would look different," Harry started. "I thought somehow after all of this was done that the world would have changed, but it still looks exactly the same."

"I think it's an empty slate," Ginny responded. "Waiting for a new story to define it."

"Are we going to be the ones to write it?" Harry asked, looking down at her.

"You know I'm going to be here at school next year," Ginny said. "And I know you're planning on becoming an Auror . . ." she said, trailing off.

"Are you saying we shouldn't try?" Harry asked. "I'm not giving up so easily, Ginny." She shook her head.

"I'm not asking you to. I just want to know if you're in this for good," she sad.

"I'm not Tom," he continued gently. "I won't leave you."

"I know," she said, resting her head against his shoulder. "I know we just got out of the Hospital Wing, but race you to the lake?"

"I won't go easy on you," Harry said.

"I would never ask you to," she said, and then flashing him an impish grin, she gave him a slight push and took off. She didn't make it very far. Her body was still weak from the spell that had taken her out, and she collapsed on her back on a patch of grass under a tree where Harry joined her.

"Not really a fair race," he smiled, tickling her face with a blade of grass.

"Not that it mattered," she laughed. "Us senior citizens couldn't even make it halfway to the lake."

"Senior citizen?" Harry asked. "Do you think a senior citizen would do this?" he rolled over on top of her and gave her a light kiss.

"A little kiss?" she scoffed. "What a senior citizen really couldn't do is _this_," she said, rolling over again, so that she was on top and pushing her lips down fiercely against his. She kissed him hard, moving her lips against his, and enjoying the slight groans he made, as his lips matched her intensity.

She had been afraid that it would be difficult between them, that they would have a disconnect after all of this was over, but it was just the opposite. They still needed each other, more in fact, and for just a little bit, they could just lose themselves in the moment and embrace the fact that they were teenagers who felt strongly about each other.

Later on, they would get up and join the others, make their way up to the castle where Harry would recount all that had happened. But for now, they kissed and kissed, allowing the movement of their bodies to drown out all other possible thoughts.


End file.
